All I want
by JrBenson
Summary: Sequel to Too Call Her Own - They say you can never forget your first true love...what about your second true love? Rated M for future chapters. Formally known as: Across the Universe. I just didn't like the title...this one sounds better...
1. Chapter 1

Hello everyone!! I'm back!!! This is Mack's turn at love...or is it? You'll see all your fave characters and maybe some new ones as well. Hope you like it!

PS - my computer is acting a little wonky so if your seeing this a few times, it's because of that...

All SVU characters belong to Dick Wolfe. Nikki/Helen belong to SHED productions...

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* * *

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_Sequel to Too Call Her Own_

**All I Want**

_Prologue_

"_NIKKI!" Helen was getting more and more agitated by the second. 'Where the bloody hell did I put it?' she frantically thought._

_Nikki leaned against the door frame smiling at her wife. She always was late no matter how early she got up. Holding up the earrings Helen was looking for, Nikki arched an eyebrow and smirked._

"_Looking for these?" Helen looked up and gave her wife an annoyed glare. Storming over to where Nikki was, Helen grabbed her earrings and was unexpectedly pulled into Nikki's arms. With her arms tucked in between her and Nikki, Helen was trapped._

"_Nikki…" Helen said warningly. Nikki just smiled and leaned in and softly kissed Helen's lips. Feeling her self melt, Helen slid her hands around Nikki's neck. All too soon the kiss ended._

"_Go on…you'll be late." Nikki said with a smirk still on her face. She loved to drive Helen mad in the mornings. Shooting a playful scowl at Nikki, Helen put on her earrings and grabbed her briefcase. Giving her self a once over in the mirror Helen smoothed out the invisible wrinkles in her power suit. _

_Wrapping her arms around her, Nikki kissed the base of Helen's neck then met her gaze in the mirror. "You look…beautiful…" Reaching up and placing a hand on Nikki's cheek, Helen leaned into her and closed her eyes loving the feel of Nikki's body against hers._

_It had been 4 years since Nikki's release. The first year was the toughest of all. Nikki had a hard time trying to fit back into society that thought she was guilty. It wasn't that she wasn't trying…it was those around her that had a difficult time adjusting to Nikki. But with Helen's help, Nikki came out on top the winner. _

_Nikki had finished her Open University course and earned herself a degree in English Literature. She had sold her share of Chix to Trisha and with the support of Helen, took a course in psychology. Because of her experience in Larkhall, Nikki desperately wanted to keep the young women out of the prison cells. Nikki began to volunteer her time at a local halfway house and became a mentor of sorts to the women there. _

_The second year of freedom, Nikki opened up her own 'halfway' house. She counseled, trained, mentored and advocated for women that came in and out of her centre. Helen became a partner not only personally but also professionally to Nikki. They both worked well together and helped many. With Helen's connections and Nikki's perseverance at helping other's they soon became unstoppable._

_Helen had the love of her life, had a job she actually enjoyed doing…what else could she ask for?

* * *

_

_But as all ways, God had other plans in mind for Helen Stewart-Wade. In May of 2005, Nikki began having painful migraines. Both women chalked it up to stress…they had been working non-stop for the past few months getting a program similar to theirs set up in the States. When the migraines persisted Nikki made an appointment with her doctor. What she found out brought her to her knees._

_Rushing home after getting a call from Nikki, Helen burst through the door. Finding her wife sitting on their bed, head in her hands Helen slowly made her way over to her. _

"_Love? What's wrong? What did the doctor say?" Gently taking her face in her hands Helen gazed at Nikki. _

_Nikki gave her a sad smile and held on tight to Helen as she relayed the results the doctor had given her. Helen stood frozen. Pulling out of the embrace she stared at Nikki. Covering her mouth with one hand and reaching out with the other, Helen held on to her wife. _

'_Cancer…she has cancer…' Helen thought.

* * *

_

_As the weeks passed, Nikki's condition seemed to be on a steady decline. One afternoon Trisha stopped by the flat to give Helen some fresh air and a much needed break. _

"_Trish thanks for coming by. I need to ask you a big favor…" _

"_Of course, anything."_

_Nikki told her ex of her plan to help Helen after she had passed. Trisha wasn't thrilled about it but agreed to do it anyway. _

"_Look…I know you two haven't been…the best of friends…" Nikki started out slowly._

"_No we haven't. That's not to say we haven't tried. But you are happy and it's because of her. You're obviously madly in love with her and she's absolutely committed to you…I can't be upset about something that I can never change." _

"_Thank you…" Nikki said with tears in her eyes._

"_Oh stop it you silly cow!" Trish said with a smile on her face. She was humbled that Nikki would trust her with her most treasured item – Helen. Trish still loved Nikki and she would do everything in her power to make this plan work.

* * *

_

_July 2005_

_They stood and stared, some with tears in their eyes and other's with their heads bowed in silent respect. But Helen stared blankly at the coffin that held her wife's body. She felt like the air had been sucked out of her and she had to mentally reminder herself to breath. _

As always, since childhood in fact, Helen never allowed herself to cry. Not even when her own mother died from the same hideous diseases. She was a stone of emotion letting nothing affect her. She heard the sympathies of those there, those that knew and loved Nikki. Monica, Barbara, Clair Walker and even Karen were there.

_She felt Trisha standing silently by her side. Never leaving her for a moment. Helen felt oddly comforted by the presence of Nikki's ex. Feeling a gentle hand on her back, she looked at Trish._

"_Would you like to stay a bit longer or would you like to head back to the car?" Helen looked around and saw that everyone was making their way to their vehicles. Shaking her head Helen just stared back that coffin._

"_I'd like a minute, if you don't mind…"_

"_Of course. I'll be right over there if you need me." Nodding in acknowledgement Helen watched as Trish wandered a few feet away but stayed close by just in case._

_Turning towards Nikki's coffin, Helen let out a breath. "This wasn't supposed to happen. After everything we've gone through…we were supposed to grow old together. Drive each other mad…" fearing she would completely lose control, Helen stopped. Looking up to the heavens she prayed for the pain to stop, knowing full well that God would probably just ignore her as always. _

_Placing her fingers to her lips, Helen then softly touched Nikki's casket. "I love you," she whispered. She felt a warm breeze on her face and she could have sworn she heard, 'I love you too'. Squaring her shoulders, she turned and headed for Trisha and out of the cemetery.

* * *

_

_3 weeks later…_

_Helen had been holed up in her flat since the funeral. None of her friends could get through to her. Trisha did her best to get her out and about but was only given stony silence. Everyone began to worry about Helen's mental state._

_That's when she received an odd package. It had her name on it. Opening it, she realized it was small tape recorder and attached to was a tag that had the words: PLAY ME. _

_Doing as she was instructed, she hit the play button. The voice she heard took her breath away._

"_Hello love…it's me, Nikki if you haven't already guessed. Surprised? Don't be. I promised I'd take care of you, and I will. But I need you to help do that…don't roll your eyes at me…" Helen stopped rolling her eyes and stared in shock. "Yes…I know you well my wee bird. Now Helen…I need you to listen carefully…" Helen found herself nodding. "Good girl. Now, I want you to run yourself a nice warm bath. Then I want you to get yourself dressed. Trisha will be by to pick you up in a couple of hours. You girls will be doing a little shopping. Now before you go completely mad, let me explain. Remember our meetings with that group in New York City? Well…it looks like we've got ourselves a place to try out our program…" Helen's eyes widened. Nikki managed to convince the board in New York to let them test run one of their programs in there area. 'How in the world did she do it?' Helen thought. " Now my wee bird, I can't tell you how I did it. All I can say is that YOU will be showing the boys and girls in New York how we Brits do things. That's right…you my beautiful wife will be whisked away to New York in about…2 weeks, if my calculations are correct…hmmm…it is still July right?" Helen could here counting softly. "Ah-ha! I am right! You know how much I love being right…which means, that in August, you'll be off to the Big Apple. Now, don't worry about anything. I've already arranged everything down there. All you need to do is to get your sexy self down there. If you don't you won't be getting any letters from me…consider it an incentive…" Helen's jaw dropped. _

"_But that's blackmail!" She wailed. How could Nikki do that to her?_

"_I know! It won't be blackmail if you do as you're told, my wee bird. You know I would never let anything happen to you. Never. Now…let's get ourselves ready…come on now. Off you go…"_

_Helen had no choice but to get up and head to the bathroom. 'I guess I'll be going to New York' she thought._

"…_Oh…uh…by the way, love…you'll be staying in New York for a year…"_

"_WHAT!?"_


	2. New York, New York

Chapter 2 up and running. I know it's a bit of a slow start right now. I'm working on no sleep at all so that my explain it...

Anyways, enjoy and as always I own nothing.

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**New York, New York**

Chapter 2

"ALEX! LET'S GO!" _When will that kid use that damn alarm clock? _Sighing, Mack finished off her coffee then went to get her shoes and jacket.

"COMING MA!" Mack rolled her eyes. Looking at her watch for the 10th time that morning she groaned. _Crap…30 minutes late again. Cragen is gonna lynch me…_

"MOVE IT KIDDO! I MEAN IT!" Mack heard her son running around grabbing things in his room. She laughed quietly…_Alex is becoming more and more like me by the second_.

"Okay, okay…sorry. Found what I was looking for." He smiled triumphantly. His hair was out of sorts so Mack reached out and ran a hasty hand through it. "_Mom!!_" He wined although he never got tired of his mom wanting to fix his hair. Mackenzie reached down and hugged the boy and kissed his head.

"Alright, alright…I'm sorry. Can't help it." She said with a smile. "Ready?" Nodding, Alex took hold of his mom's hand and they left their loft and headed down the hall where Olivia and Brady and their growing brood now lived.

"So…what do you and crazy company have planned today?" Mackenzie lovingly nicknamed her sister's growing family 'Crazy Company'. It was absolutely nuts in her sister's two story loft.

"Dunno yet. Sol is gonna show me his new Epiphone guitar that Mama Ollie got him for his birthday…" Alex said excitedly. In the span of 3 years, both boys had gotten close. Granted, they were the only boys in the family…for now.

"Yeah? What model is it?" Mackenzie was a bit of a guitar junkie herself. Although it had been years since she actually played.

"I think Sol said it was an SST Studio. He played if for me…it sounds so cool!" Mackenzie smiled down at her 8-year-old son. As they neared Olivia and Brady's loft they heard the normal racket of the Benson clan.

"Charlie! Give it back! MOM!!" Mack and Alex warily glanced at each other. Charlie loved to antagonize her younger sister, Briana.

"CHARLOTTE! THAT'S ENOUGH!" came a sharp warning from Olivia. Shaking her head, Mackenzie knocked on the door before she made her way through the chaos.

"MORNING SUNSHINES!" Mack bellowed. Charlie turned to her aunt and rolled her eyes.

"Hey! Knock it off!" ordered Liv. Smirking, Charlie just huffed and gave her the universal teenage look, 'whatever'.

Brady came out of the room carrying Kayla, the newest Benson. Smiling, Mack held her hands out and 3-year-old Kayla scrambled into her arms. Kayla was the quietest of the bunch and was very fond of Alex. He was just as fond of her, but he would absolutely deny it if you asked.

"Hello my little pop tart. How are you today?" Mack said as she nuzzled the little girl's neck. She was rewarded by a squeal and a big toothy grin.

"Morning honey." Brady said as she kissed Mack on the cheek then headed for Olivia and Charlie. Crossing her arms and looking very upset she stared them down. Both Liv and Charlie looked guilty and began to shuffle their feet.

"_You_, give back whatever it is you took from your sister. Then apologize. Don't let me have to talk to you again about this. Do I make myself clear?" Bradanna Benson wasn't someone you pissed off often, unless you had a death wish.

Watching as her eldest daughter wandered over to Briana and handed back the item and making sure she apologized she turned her attention to her wife. Olivia rubbed the back of her neck and sheepishly shrugged.

"Baby I…" Liv began but was silenced with the 'look'.

"Don't even start." Brady demanded. Clearing her throat, Mack handed Kayla to Olivia and jerked her head towards Alex.

"Sorry to break up love fest 2005 but I'm really running late. I just have one request. Just keep my son in one piece." Kissing Alex goodbye Mack turned and waved to everyone else. She made a hasty exit and headed for the elevators.

_My day is not starting out right at all…_looking at her watch she sighed. _Not gonna make it at all…

* * *

_11 AM – JFK Airport

Rolling her head from side to side, Helen worked out the kinks in her neck. Sitting for 19 hours and 45 minutes was not Helen's idea of fun. _I can't believe I'm doing this. God Nikki, what the bloody hell were you thinking?_ Closing her eyes, she pinched the bridge of her nose. _No point in getting angry with the dead…_

Shaking off the last thought Helen busied herself at finding her luggage. _The faster I get this over with, the faster I'll be out of here…_

After finding her bags, Helen waited while she looked for her ride. _Well this is just bloody wonderful...my bloody ride is late. Perfect. _

_

* * *

_Squad Room – 11:45 AM 

Rushing into the room while ripping of her jean jacket, Mack kept mumbling to her self. Making it to her desk she barely had a second to catch her breath before she was called into the Captains office.

"Looks like someone's in trouble…" Chester said as he gave her a cocky smile.

"Shut it Lake." Mack walked by him and whacked him in the head as she passed him. Wincing in pain, he rubbed his head.

"Told you not to say anything…" Chester just glared at Fin.

"OK…what I do this time?" Mackenzie sauntered into the office. Cragen stood behind his desk with his hands in shoved into his pockets. He did not look happy.

"Sit down. I just got a call from Brooklyn homicide…" Cragen said slowly. _Oh shit…_

"They informed me that one of _my_ detectives was interfering in one of there cases…"

"Captain, I can explain…"

"Shut up!" Captain Cragen said sharply. Mackenzie was startled but kept quiet. Cragen sat down and stared at Mack.

"I thought we already discussed this."

She knew that there was no point in trying to squirm her way out of this one. "We did sir…"

"And yet you've disobeyed my orders."

Nodding, Mack sat quietly. Cragen just took in the sight of the youngest Benson. She took on a lot of her sister's traits…majority of them bad ones. He knew Mack would make a great detective one day, maybe better then Olivia herself. But there was something very different about Mackenzie. She had a hallow look in her eyes that was never in Olivia's. And it worried Cragen…he didn't want her to end up like so many other detectives that had nothing left in them.

"Drop it detective…"

"You know I can't do that sir. I gave 8 months of my life to that case! 8 months of pure hell…"

"You promised me you'd talk to someone…"

Closing her eyes, Mackenzie let out a sigh. "And I will, Captain…"

"When? You said that 3 years ago…I won't make it an order. But if you don't do it soon you'll be riding desk duty for the rest of your career. Understood?"

Nodding, Mackenzie stood and was about to leave.

"By the way, you need to pick up your assignment from the airport…" Cragen said as he handed her a file. Confused, Mack gave questioning look.

"She'll be working closely with us and with you sister and Brady. Olivia called me this morning…you might want to talk to her about it."

"Fine…when is her flight arriving?" Mack said annoyed.

Looking at his watch Cragen calmly replied, "An hour ago…"

Groaning silently, Mack rubbed her temple. _Great…just great. I'm gonna kill Liv…I get my ass chewed out now I have babysitter duty. Just fucking great…my day is going just great…._


	3. First Impressions

Howdy! I've finally found the time to update. Sorry it took so long for me to do it.

Anywho...enjoy. I own nothing. Names/places belong to Dick Wolfe and SHED productions.

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First Impressions

Chapter 3

_12:15pm_

Mackenzie rushed into the airport pick up area. _Shit…what the hell was her name again?_ Quickly checking the note, she looked around to find a paper and pen. Walking up to one of the airport attendants she got what she needed.

Holding up her make shift sign, she prayed that this Ms. Stewart was delayed. _If I can only be so lucky…_she was looking in one direction when she heard someone clear her throat behind her.

Snapping her head around she came face to face with the most beautiful green eyes she had ever seen. Slightly stunned, Mack was gaping at the new comer. Mackenzie mentally shook herself out of her haze and realized those beautiful eyes were attached to a very irritated face. Swallowing her embarrassment, Mackenzie smiled sheepishly.

"Do you know what time it is?" came a very sharp and sexy Scottish accent. Rendered speechless, Mack shook her head like an idiot. Scottish lady's lips formed a thin line.

"I've been waiting here for you to since 11 am. I've been on a bloody plane for the last 20 hours and I have jet lag. I don't have time to be waiting around for you catch you tongue. Now if you don't mind, I'd like to go." With that she bent down and picked up a duffle bag and a large suitcase. Mack's eyes wandered, against her will, down to the shapely form of Scottish lady's butt.

Eyes widened and Mackenzie quickly turned away mentally kicking herself. _I know I haven't been on a date in almost 2 years…but holy mama…that doesn't mean I have a right to stare…_

"Are you alright?"

Dry mouthed, Mackenzie managed an audible 'yeah'. The beautiful Scot's woman turned and headed for the doors with Mack following like a little puppy, her eyes darting back and forth from the Scot's head to her rear end. _Stop it! She's gonna catch you staring. It's Murphy's Law…I hate Murphy's Law…

* * *

_

Once outside, Mack led the way to her car. She placed the bags in the trunk then she stole a glance at the Scot who was in the process of picking up something that had fallen from her purse. Mack had a full view of the Scot's backside and she felt the air rush out of her.

Making a chocking sound, Mack looked away. Straightening herself up, Helen looked at Mack with a mixture of concern and annoyance.

"What is it now?"

"I…uh…well…it's…I'm…" Mack stuttered. _Real smooth Benson…first you stare at her ass now you're speaking idiot. What else can go wrong?_

Rolling her eyes she crossed her arms. Mackenzie sighed and turned to head for the drivers side of the door.

"By the way, I suggest that you find another hobby then staring at my rear end." Stopping dead in her tracks, Mack turned a bright red as she glanced at Helen and quickly averted her eyes and mumbled an apology.

_Murphy's Law at work…ah screw it…Murphy hates me_…

* * *

The drive to Helen's new home was a long one. The silence…well a machete wouldn't have even sliced it. Mack glanced every so often at her passenger. Helen had fallen asleep 30 minuets into the ride.

Mack replayed the short conversation they had to pass the time…

"_So where to?" Mack said as she buckled her seat belt. She made the mistake of looking at Helen and was once again mesmerized by those green eyes. _

"…_Did you hear me?" _

_Snapping out of her attraction, Mack just blinked. 'What did she just say?' she thought. _

_Sighing loudly and pinching the bridge of her nose, Helen calmly repeated the address. _

"_What!" Mackenzie knew she heard wrong. There was no way that was even possible._

"_I said, take me to…"_

"_I heard you. Are you sure there isn't a mistake?" _

"_Why in the world would there be?" Helen was getting more annoyed with Mack. Could the woman just drive her to her temporary home? _

_Turning to face the front, Mack shoved the key into the ignition. 'Great…perfect…just wonderful. Not only do I have to work with her I also have to…' Mack's train of thought was interrupted yet again._

"_Are we going to move anytime soon?" Helen said sarcastically._

_Mumbling to herself, Mackenzie drove in silence.

* * *

_

Finally arriving at their destination, Mack was about to wake the ice princess when she noticed how peaceful she looked. Helen had leaned her head against the window and was fast asleep. Mack could now truly study the beautiful Scot's woman with out getting into trouble.

She noticed the lines around her eyes. _Laugh lines, maybe…_Mack then noticed the way Helen's brows crumpled together as if she were having a bad dream. Mackenzie was tempted to reach out and sooth whatever it was that was hurting the woman.

_Keep your hands to yourself buddy. You're in enough trouble as it is…_Mack wasn't sure what to do. She was torn. So instead, she cleared her throat. When that didn't work, Mack slowly reached out and placed a gentle hand on Helen's shoulder and slightly shook her. This seemed to work because Helen moaned lightly then opened her eyes. What she did next floored the already smitten detective…Helen smiled brightly.

"Um…we're…uh…we're here…" Mack said slowly. She doubted Helen realized whom she was smiling at but Mack didn't care. For the moment, Helen was smiling at _her._ Straightening herself up, Helen wiped the sleep from her eyes.

"So this is where I'll be staying?" Helen looked out and noticed that the building was very old.

"It's not so bad actually. The place used to be a chocolate factory or something like that during World War 2 and they converted the place into lofts. There are about 18 in total. 9 regular lofts and 9 two story lofts. The inside interior has a modern twist to it…" She realized that she was rambling. Mack blushed a deep shade of red when she noticed Helen staring at her with an amused expression.

"I take it you know the place well?" Helen said with a ghost of a smile.

"Yeah…something like that."

"We'll then. What are we waiting for?" Helen said as she opened the passenger door and got out. Mack sat there confused. _What just happened there?_ Deciding that she would dwell on that when she got home, she got out of the car and made her way to the trunk of the car.

Getting out Helen's bags, both women went in. Mack watched Helen closely as the stepped into the elevator. She didn't realize which floor they had gotten off until Mack realized it was _her_ floor. _You've got to be kidding me…I'm either cursed or blessed…I'm never that lucky…_

"Here we are…" they had stopped in front of Helen's new home. Helen fumbled with her set of keys, trying to figure out which one was for the loft.

"Let me try…" Mack gently took the key ring and was amazed at how soft Helen's hands were. Doing her best not to tremble at Mack's touch, Helen quickly pulled her hand away as if she had gotten burnt. _What in the world…_

Looking oddly at her, Mack wondered what just happened. She found the right key in seconds. Holding it up triumphantly and with a big grin on her face, Mack proceeded to unlock Helen's door for her.

Sliding her door open for her Mack made a dramatic bow, "after you my lady." Which won her a shy smile from Helen. Tucking her hair behind her ear, Helen did a curtsy and walked into the loft. She stood there mesmerized at the sheer size of her home. It was already furnished. _How did you do all this Nikki?_

Behind her, Mack let out a low whistle. "Sweet Mary…" Helen turned to say something but was caught by surprise at how utterly charming Mackenzie looked. Mack had slowly turned 90 degrees on her heel staring bright eyed at Helen's loft. Helen smiled at the sight.

Helen cleared her throat trying to get Mack's attention. Mackenzie's gaze landed on Helen's and they stood silently smiling at each other. Just then Mack's cell phone went off. Groaning inwardly, Mack made a hasty grab for her phone.

"Sorry…I'm going to have to take this. I'll only be a second…" Nodding, Helen busied herself with her bags as Mack flipped open her phone. Turning away slightly she spoke quietly on the phone. "What?"

"Hey partner!" came a cocky reply. Closing her eyes and pinching the bridge of her nose, Mack silently cursed her partner.

"Lake, this better be good…"

"What? You're not happy to hear from me? I'm hurt…"

"Not as much as your gonna be if you don't knock it off." She heard Fin in the background telling Chester to shut it. "Take my advice _partner_ and listen to Fin. Now, what did you want?"

"Alright, alright…dad wants to know if you picked up…uh…what's her name?"

"Mrs. Stewart? Yeah, I'm standing here with her. Why?"

"Well, he wants you to bring her down here…"

"No."

"What?"

"No. She's just gotten off of a 20-hour flight. I'm sure she just wants to rest and get used to the time change…"

Helen had begun listening after hearing her name. She didn't like to eavesdrop but she couldn't help it. She smiled and was genuinely warmed by Mack's interest for her well-being.

"…Then fine. Don't say anything. I'll call the captain and tell him myself…yeah; well I'd still shoot you if you weren't the messenger…jackass…ok. Bye" Mack hung up and laughed quietly.

"I really don't mind. I can wait a few more hours…" Helen offered.

Snapping around, Mack shook her head. "I don't think so. You've got all day tomorrow anyways. You just get some sleep…get yourself comfortable in here..." Mack trailed off. Again they stood quietly.

"I…uh…I better get back. If you need anything, give me a call." She said softly as she handed her a business card. "My cell phone, work and home numbers are on that…"

"Thank you detective." Helen said quietly. She stared down at the card. _Detective Mackenzie Benson…Mackenzie…suits her…_Helen thought.

"Ok then…I'll be going…" Mackenzie reluctantly headed for the door with Helen following close by. Mack stepped out into the hall way then turned and faced Helen.

"Call me…for anything. As for tomorrow…give me a call when you need a ride into the station…" Mackenzie bit her lower lip. _I haven't been this nervous since…well…ever…_

"I will, promise."

"Look, I want to apologize for before. For…umm…you know…uh…" _stop while you're a head detective. Don't ruin the moment…._

"Oh…that…" Helen smiled nervously. "It's alright…we all have our moments of…" she trailed off as Mack reached out and tucked a strand of hair behind Helen's ear. Helen blushed and stammered once more. "Tha-thank you for your help…you better go. I don't want you to get into trouble…"

Nodding, Mack gently smiled and stepped back. "Sweet dreams Mrs. Stewart." And with that, Mackenzie made her way to the elevators glancing back every so often. Helen waited until Mack was in the elevator then slid the heavy door shut.

She leaned against the door and let out a breath. _Oh my…what's happening?_

She pushed herself off of the door and began looking around her new home. That's when she saw it. It was the letter that Nikki had promised her before she left.

She gingerly picked it up and traced her finger over her name. She felt tears form as she stared at Nikki's handwriting. She sat down and hugged the unopened letter to her chest.

_Oh Nikki…why did you have to leave me? _


	4. Ps I Love You

Here's chapter 4. Cute stuff in this. I know, it's a slow start but I want to do it just right. Enjoy! If you've seen the movie 'PS...I Love You" well, this is sorta the same idea.

I own nothing belonging to Dick Wolfe and SHED productions.

* * *

Ps – I Love You

Chapter 4

Helen opened the letter and sat back even more into the soft couch. She curled her feet under her and began to read.

_Hello love,_

_I hope the flight here wasn't too bad. I know how you hate to fly more then 10 hours. I'm sorry love. I promise to make it up to you. Now…how do you like the place? I knew you'd love it. Are you all unpacked?_

Helen looked up and just stared at her luggage. Shaking her head she looked back down at the letter she continued reading.

_Helen…why haven't you unpacked yet? I know that once you start working you'll completely forget to do it then you'll be living out of that thing for the rest of your stay. So go and unpack…now. I won't be going anywhere. I'll wait here…that's it…up you go…_

Sighing loudly, Helen got up and dragged her bags to the huge room. She unpacked everything in a hurry. She came back out and plopped down onto the couch and picked up the letter.

_Feel better now?_

"No. Not really"

_Aww…come on now love. It builds character…_

"How is lifting heavy luggage around supposed to build my character? Besides, I like my character," Helen huffed.

_I'm only teasing. You know I love every bit of you._

Smiling, Helen traced her wife's writing. She could even smell a hint of Nikki's scent on the letter. How she missed her.

_Helen…I don't want you to be trapped up in here for the rest of the year. That's not what I want. I want you to enjoy yourself while you're here. _

"Nikki…I can't. You know you can't. It hurts…"

_I know love. I know it hurts. I need you to trust me, ok? Can you do that for me?_

Nodding, Helen wiped away the tears that threatened to fall. Even after all this time, she never let them fall.

_I'll never leave you. I'll always be there. I know that's hard to believe, but I'll be around you. I know you'll find yourself someone to fancy here…_

"Nikki…how can you say that? There's no one I'd want to be with…besides, there is no one like you…" She couldn't believe what she was reading. How could Nikki think that she could ever find someone else?

_I know you don't want to, but you will. You're too wonderful to not have someone love you. Helen…I don't want you to find someone like me. I am one of a kind after all…_

Rolling her eyes, Helen couldn't help but smile at her wife's teasing. She always had a way of getting Helen to smile.

_You know it's true Helen. I also know that there is someone out there that fancy's you. You know who it is but I know you'll fight tooth and nail to try and ignore it. She's right under your nose._

An image of a dark haired detective came to mind and how her smile warmed Helen's insides. Shaking her head, she knew it would be impossible to fall in love again.

_I know you don't want to hear this now so I'll stop. You'll know when you're ready to move on. Until then, you're stuck with me. _

_I've stocked the refrigerator with your favourite beverage – red wine. Now don't finish it all, love. Save some of that for the right time. I've also taken the liberty to list all the nearest places that carry your red wine - just in case you don't listen to me and finish it all in one night. _

_I've also taken care of your reading material as well as some of your favourite movies. You have nothing to worry about. So sit back and relax and watch some tele. Before you know it, the year will have passed by just like that. And if you behave, you'll be getting another letter from me. _

_Talk to you soon,_

_Nikki_

_PS … I love you. _

Helen lovingly caressed the letter. She slipped it back into the envelope and gently laid it on the coffee table. She sat and stared at her loft. Two – stories of exposed brick, wood beams through out the room, stainless steel appliances a huge flat screen.

But what caught her attention was the bookshelf that was lined along the loft wall. It had everything from Shakespeare to the copy of Sophie's World she had given to Nikki all those years ago. She ran a finger over the spine of Sophie's World. A sad smile spread across her face. Helen doubted she could ever open the book again and not want to cry. She stepped back and headed for her room.

She climbed in and wrapped the comforter around her. It didn't take long for her to fall asleep. Images of Nikki and Mackenzie filled her mind.

* * *

_5:30 pm_

Trudging through the hallway, Mack did her best to stay up right. It was an exhausting day to say the least. The moment Mackenzie stepped foot into the station that morning, she was chewed out by the captain and hassled by the others. The one bright spot in her day was meeting Helen. She smiled at the thought of the fiery Scot and wondered how she was settling in.

Mack stopped in front of Helen's door and wondered. _Nah…she's probably resting now._ She moved across the hallway and slid open her own door. _Maybe tomorrow…_

Just then, she got hit in the head with a pillow. She turned to see her son giggling. _Looks like my evening is already planned out._ She smiled as she grabbed a cushion and headed for Alex.

"You better run…" Alex took off down the hall with a squeal as Mack ran after him.

* * *

_8:45 pm_

Helen woke up to a darkened room. She was slightly disoriented but quickly regained her bearings. She sighed and stumbled out of bed and headed for the living area. It had gotten colder while she slept so she made her way to the kitchen to make herself some tea.

As she set the kettle on the stove Helen heard a slight ruckus outside her door. She heard laughter from both a young child and an adult. It sounded as if they were having the time of their lives. Helen smiled warmly.

Helen made her way to the door and slid it open. What she wasn't prepared for was a soccer ball heading her way. A hand came out of nowhere and caught it before it could have done any damage. Helen stumbled back and would have fallen if it weren't for a pair of strong hands holding her up.

"Are you all right?" said the stranger. Helen knew that voice. She felt herself being steadied when she looked up to see a pair of warm brown eyes stare at her with concern.

"Mrs. Stewart?" Said the voice. And for a moment, Helen thought she saw Nikki in those eyes. _They look so much like hers…_

"Hello? Mrs. Stewart? Are you aright?" Helen blinked a few times and came face to face with Mackenzie.

"I'm…I'm ok. Thank you," Helen replied breathlessly. Still looking at her with concern, Mack just nodded and held on to her waist just a little longer. Helen straightened herself up and took a calm breath.

It donned on Helen that Mackenzie was in her building. "What are you doing here?" Said a confused Helen.

A ghost of a smile formed on Mack's face. She had to look away from Helen's expression or else she would burst out laughing. Clearing her throat and looking back at Helen, Mackenzie couldn't help but laugh a little.

"What? What is so funny?"

"Um…well…nothing actually. I…uh…I live here…" Mack pointed to her loft in front of Helen's.

Eyes wide as saucers stared back at Mack. She couldn't help it, Mackenzie laughed. Just then Alex came running up looking a bit frightened and he hid behind his mama's legs. Mack placed a tender hand on top of her son's head and smiled down at him.

"Did you want to say hi Bud?" She asks softly. Peeking from behind her, Alex just looked up at Helen.

Helen smiled gently at the new comer. She knelt down and softly said hello. Sucking in his bottom lip, Alex gingerly moved from behind his mom but stayed as close to her as he could. He studied Helen for a moment then looked up at his mom to see if it was ok to say hello. Mack smiled and nodded her approval.

Helen watched the two. She was captivated by the young boy and couldn't help but feel a slight pang of pain shoot through her. She and Nikki had been planning on having children one day. Helen had longed for a child of her own but without Nikki, she just couldn't see herself having one with anyone else.

Mack knelt down behind her son and wrapped her arms around him. "Go on…it's alright," she gently urged. Slowly, Alex held out his little hand. Helen smiled brightly and took the hand that was offered and shook it.

"Well hello young man. How old are you?"

"Eight" came a small voice. Helen couldn't help but smile even wider. She glanced at Mackenzie who had been watching her and Helen's smile softened a bit and they both seemed lost in each other. They stayed that for a moment until the sound of shuffling feet brought them back.

Turning her attention to the little boy Helen smiled brightly again. "Wow. That practically makes you a big boy now, yeah?" He stood slightly taller and nodded.

Turning to his mom, Alex said proudly, "see mom. I told you." Both women laughed. _Not only does she have beautiful eyes, but a beautiful laugh too_. Mackenzie wasn't the only one that thought that.

"I like your laugh…it sounds pretty," said a shy little boy. Helen blushed but smiled brightly. Mack just stared at the sheer beauty of Helen's smile.

"Well thank you. You have a fine laugh yourself young man." Helen couldn't help but fall in love with this little boy instantly. "I'm sorry, but I didn't catch your name…"

"Alex…what's yours?" He asked quietly. Eyes sparkling, Helen reached out and brushed a lock of hair that fell over the boy's forehead.

"Helen…"

"It's pretty," Alex said bashfully. Alex giggled and both adults laughed at the sight of it.

Helen shook her head and got up. Mack followed her lead and picked up her son.

"Ok Romeo. It's time to wash up for dinner. Scram!" Placing Alex down, Mack lightly patted his bottom and he took off laughing. "Hey! Don't forget your ball!" Alex came screeching back and picked it up then took off once more.

"You start them off young."

Turning around Mack saw that Helen had a mischievous smile on her face. Smiling herself Mack blushed.

"Yeah…figured he could use a head start." They both laughed at that. Mack shoved her hands into her pockets to keep from reaching out to Helen.

"You have lovely son."

"Thanks. I don't know what I'd do with out him." Both women fell silent once more. After a moment that felt more like a life time, Mack stared at Helen.

Clearing her throat in the awkward silence, Helen was about to turn and head back for her loft when Mack stopped her.

"Have you had dinner yet?" Mack wasn't sure why she just asked that but felt the need to be close to Helen.

Shaking her head Helen gestured to her place. "No I haven't. I was actually making some tea…" and as if on cue, the kettle began to whistle. Motioning that she was going to be right back, Helen rushed in and turned off the stove and moved the kettle.

Making her way back to Mack, Helen smiled. "I haven't had a thing yet. I thought maybe I could get some Chinese take away."

"Take away? … oh! You mean take out?" Watching Helen nod Mackenzie smiled. "Why don't you have dinner with us?" Seeing the surprised look on her face, Mack quickly added, "think of it as a peace offering for this morning and for almost getting you killed by a soccer ball…"

Helen thought for a moment. _It can't hurt. Besides, I'm starving._ Slowly smiling, Helen nodded. "Just as long as I can return the favour one day."

Smiling brightly at that, Mack led them to her loft. "Deal!"


	5. Planes, Trains and 8 Year Old Chaperones

Sorry for such a late update. I've had writer's block for a bit and I didn't know where to go with this. But it's all done. Hope I've done a good job of it.

I own nothing in the Dick Wolfe universe and SHED Productions.

* * *

Planes, Trains and 8 Year Old Chaperones

"Hope you like Italian." Mack said as they entered the loft. Helen took in Mackenzie's home. It was just a one level loft but still huge, not as big as hers though and was filled with toys and a stand-alone punching bag. _Keeps fit…impressive…._ But what surprised her most were the bookcases filled with everything from the classics to children's literature. 

Picking up toys as she went, Mack made her way to the living room. She dumped the toys in Alex's toy box. "Make yourself at home. Just don't mind the mess…the place has seen better days." She turned and went to the kitchen and took out serving bowls then took out the ingredients for her salad.

Smiling Helen wandered over to the bookshelf. She was impressed with the titles and author's she saw there: Taming of the Shrew, The Picture of Dorian Gray, a few Jane Austen titles as well as Emily Bronte's Wethering Heights. There was also a small collection of Edgar Allen Poe titles. _A hopless romantic with a touch of gothic. Interesting combination…_

Helen passed one bookcase for another still intregued by the selection of books. What she saw on this one made her smile. _Comic books…never too old for those I suppose._

"Mama! I'm done! I even cleaned behind my…" Alex skided to a stop as soon as he saw Helen in the room. With eyes wide as saucers Alex shyly walked over to his mom and he once again attached himself to her leg. 

"Sweetie…it's alright. Mama needs to get dinner ready. Honey you're gonna have to let go of me…" Mackenzie did her best to manover around the kitchen with an 8 year old glued to her leg with not much success. Realizing that her son wasn't about to let go, Mack knelt down and gathered him into her arms. Kissing him on the forehead, Mackenzie went to the couch and sat him down. 

"Alex…" She began gently. She watched as he lowered his head folded his arms against his chest as if to protect himself. Sighing, Mackenzie knew that it would be a long time before Alex recovered from what happened with her mother all those years ago. 

"It's ok buddy," Mack said quietly. She softly placed a kiss on her son's head then ruffled his hair. "Why don't you help me set the table up?" Mackenzie got up and held out her hand. He timidly placed his hand into hers and they went to the kitchen. 

Mackenzie glanced at Helen who had been watching the display and smiled apologetically. Helen was in awe at how gentle Mack was with her son. It was obvious that something had happened to Alex to make him so afraid of strangers. And it looked like Mack was the only one able to get through to him.

With a close eye on Alex, Mack made her way to Helen who had sat down on the couch. Sitting next to her Mack quietly apologized, "sorry. He's…a little shy. He's ok with family and people that he knows but other then that he tends to shut down…please don't take it the wrong way. He's really a great kid once he gets to know you."

"That's alright. I'm sure Alex is a wonderful little boy." Helen said as she gazed at Mackenzie. She saw a sad look creep into Mack's eyes and wondered what happened to put that look there. _And you'll never find out…it's none of your business Helen…_

The two just stared at each other. Neither was sure what they were looking for, but they both felt oddly at peace with the other's company. They stayed that way for a few minutes then found them selves leaning closer to each other unable to stop themselves. 

Alex quietly informed his mother that the water was boiling.

Snapping out of their spell and looking a bit disappointed, Mack cleared her throat and nodded at her son. Getting up she motioned for Helen to join them. Following Mackenzie, Helen only had a few seconds to regain her composure. _Oh dear God! I almost kissed her! _Taking a deep calming breath, Helen sat as far away from Mack as she possibly could. 

Mack saw what she was trying to do but made no comment. _Well…serves you right. Kissing a woman you don't even know. In front of your son! You're such an ass, Benson. _

Both women ate in silence. Both lost in there own thoughts. Alex just sat and ate his spaghetti and glanced from Mrs. Stewart to his mama then back to Mrs. Stewart again. There was something about her that gave Alex a nice warm feeling. He wasn't sure what it was yet, but he wasn't about to let down his guard completely. 

The silence was killing Alex so he thought of something to get mama smiling again.

He twirled his noodles like mama showed him but only this time he made sure to make it nice and big. Once that was done, Alex licked his lips and proceeded to shove the bundle of food into his mouth. He barely got the spaghetti into his mouth before it covered his chin and the front of his shirt. Looking down at the mess he made, Alex shrugged and began to pick the spaghetti up from his shirt and ate it. 

Mackenzie sat frozen in her seat. _What the hell?_ Glancing up at his mama, Alex gave her the sweetest angel face he could muster knowing it could back fire on him. _Please let this work…_

"What in the crazy world are you doing Bud?" _Phew! At least mama doesn't sound too upset…_

Still with his mouth extremely full, Alex answered, "I…wike…woo…spageffi…" As he spoke, bits of spaghetti flew out of his mouth. Closing her eyes and covering her face, Mack couldn't believe what her son was doing.

Mack then heard a muffled laugh. It was…it was Helen! Mack peeked through her fingers and saw the beautiful Scot trying to contain her laughter. She then heard her son giggle at the sight of Helen laughing. 

_What the heck is going on? _Mack thought. Helen just laughed harder at the expression that was plastered on Mackenzie's face. _They're laughing at me…that is just perfect._

Shaking her head Mack got up and got a cloth from the sink. She turned to see Helen gently wiping off the excess sauce from Alex's smiling face. Mack just stood in amazement at how natural it was to see Helen do that. What surprised her most was how Alex didn't cringe or shy away when Helen tenderly took hold of his face to get at the more stubborn areas. In fact, she acted is if Alex were her own. 

She could hear Helen say to her son gently, "Now young man, that was quite a show you put on. But why on earth did you do that?" Helen lovingly brushed away Alex's hair from his eyes.

Shrugging, Alex picked up a napkin and began to wipe the noodles that were on the table, which only made more of a bigger mess. 

"Let me help you wee one." Helen got up and showed Alex how to sweep the mess up. Mackenzie watched the two of them and felt her heart contract when she saw Alex lean into Helen as she gave him tight squeeze. The smile on both of their faces made Mack go weak in the knees. 

"Mama? What's a matter?" Mack saw Helen glance over and had a concern look on her face.

"Oh…uh…nothing Bud." Smiling she closed the distance and wiped clean the remaining mess. Helen just stood to the side with an arm wrapped around Alex's shoulder.

"Why don't you get washed up and change your shirt, ok? Did you want to finish your dinner?" Helen felt relief that Mack wasn't at all upset by what happened.

"That's ok, mama. Can I watch TV though?" The boy asked hopefully. Glancing at Alex with a raised eyebrow, gave him an '_Are you kidding me?'_ look. Shrugging, Alex looked up at Helen and said, "I tried." This got a laugh out of Helen.

"Alright, alright! You can watch, but only 30 minutes. Then you hit the sack. Got it?" 

"YESSSSS!" Alex pumped his little fist in the air. Both women laughed and watched as he took off for the bathroom.

Mack turned back to the table and finished cleaning the area. She looked up and saw Helen leaning against the counter.

"If you want we can still finish dinner. That's if you weren't grossed out by that," she said as she jerked her thumb in the direction of the bathroom.

Helen wasn't sure why, but she was intrigued by the little boy _and_ his mother. This only made it a bad idea to stay. "I don't mind at all. He's..."

"A handful," Mackenzie supplied with a smile. Helen chuckled at that and sat back down in her seat but unconsciously moved her chair closer to Mackenzie's.

"Well, that too. I'm sure there aren't any dull moments when he's around." Helen began as she picked up her fork.

"I'm never bored that's for sure. Let me get you a fresh plate…" Mackenzie was half way up when Helen reached out and stopped her by placing a hand on her forearm.

"That's alright. It's still warm…really its fine."

Staring at Helen, Mack sat slowly back down and nodded. Mackenzie wasn't sure when the last time she was so taken by someone. But Helen had that power and Mack was sure the beautiful Scot had no idea what she was doing. 

Clearing her throat, Helen picked up her fork and began to eat. "This isn't so bad…"

"Thanks," said a straight-faced Mackenzie. Helen looked up sharply ready to apologize but when she saw the twinkle in her eye, Helen smiled her toothy grin.

Both women laughed just as Alex came running out. 

"Whoa! Slow down cowboy. Remember what happened the last time?"

Looking over to where his mama was, Alex watched as Mrs. Stewart and his mama quietly laughed about something. A small smile spread his face. _It's been a long time since mama did that…_

Not wanting to waste any second of TV time, Alex quickly popped in his Harry Potter movie and sat back and watched it for the 5th time that day. He wasn't really paying attention to the movie anyway – he was more interested in the sound of his mama's laughter. 

"Did you want anything to drink?" Mackenzie asked quietly as she pushed around her salad. She was enjoying Helen's company and didn't want it to end. Mack was very aware of the glances she was getting from Alex and Helen.

"Well…what do you have?" 

"Nothing alcoholic if that's what you're looking for. I don't like keeping it in the close vicinity of an 8 year old. Sorry. The strongest drink I have is grape juice," Mack said sheepishly. 

"Then grape juice it is." Helen smiled once more and Mack had to fight the urge to kiss her. _What the hell is happening to me? I don't even know the woman and I'm ready to pounce her! Snap out of it Benson! _

Getting up quickly, Mack filled two wine glasses with the drink and handed one to Helen with a smirk. "Figured we could pretend it's the real thing…" 

As the minutes passed, they ate in silence and they often glanced over at Alex who was busy watching Harry Potter. It felt weird having a quiet dinner with someone that wasn't Nikki. And Helen felt a pang of guilt for enjoying herself. 

Finishing off her dinner and drink, Helen discreetly cleared her throat. Looking up, Mackenzie waited for what Helen had to say.

Pushing back her chair Helen stood gracefully and said," this was a lovely dinner. But I really need to get back." Mack had stood up as well and nodded quietly. Grabbing the plates and glasses, Mackenzie left them in the sink.

"I'll walk you back…"

"You don't have to do that. I'm just across the hall."

"At least let me walk you to the door," Mack pleaded. 

Sighing, Helen finally agreed. They silently walked the few feet to the door and Mack slid it open for Helen. Stepping out into the hallway Helen gave Mack a gentle smile then turned and slid open her own door and waved a good night.

"Let me know when you want to go to the station tomorrow." 

Helen nodded, "I will. Say goodnight to Alex for me." And with that Helen slid the door closed.

Mackenzie just stood there and stared at where Helen had stood a second ago. She suddenly felt empty without the lovely Scot invading her thoughts. Sighing, she slid the door close and looked at her watch. _10:15 pm._

Rubbing her eyes she dragged her tired feet to the couch and looked down at a sleeping Alex. _He can never stay awake for too long._ Shaking her head, she shut the TV off then bent down and gently picked up her son and carried him to his room.

When she finished tucking Alex in, she made her way to the kitchen to finish cleaning up. With all that done, she collapsed onto the couch and put her feet up on the coffee table. 

Something about that beautiful Scot fascinated Mackenzie. She wasn't sure what it was but a part of her wanted to find out. _Like that's ever going to happen!_

The other half of her was scared. She was terrified of the effect that Mrs. Stewart had on her. The last time she was in a 'serious' relationship, she ended up in a juvenile detention centre. 

"Thanks for all that Mel," she mumbled sarcastically. But Mack knew that Helen was different. Whatever she was feeling for the green eyed beauty was defiantly 'grown-up'.

_And nothing will come of it. She's obviously married._ Mack thought. _Lucky bastard. Of course Helen Stewart-Wade would be married. Why wouldn't she be? _Shaking the lonely feeling she always got, Mack got to her feet and made her way to her room. There was no point in dwelling about something that was never going to happen.

_If I die alone, then so be it. Alone and broken. The only good thing to come out of this messed up world is Alex. And nothing matters but him._

Climbing into her huge bed Mack sat in the dark. Sleep never came for the young Benson. She thought that the nightmares would have stopped by now but it just seemed to be getting worse.

Everyone wanted her to speak to someone about what she had gone through. But what were you supposed to say? _I did nothing to help them…and their blood is on my hands forever…_The things she'd seen, the things she'd had to do…no one would ever understand. Those she loved would never forgive her.

_Alone and broken…_


	6. Working in a Coal Mine

Sorry about not updating. I've been away at seminars and dealing with some personal stuff on the home front. But all is well now.

Disclamer: I just borrowed the lyrics to Working in a Coal Mine from Harry Connick Jr. Also, I own nothing from Dick Wolf or Shed Productions. Render unto Caesar what belongs to Cesar...blah, blah, blah...

It's a tad long (about 8,000 words...). I'm making up for lost time.

Enjoy!

* * *

Working in a Coal Mine

_7:15 am_

The constant ringing of her cell phone woke the grizzly detective from her slumber. Groaning, Mack hid under her pillow hoping against hope that whom ever it was would give up.

"Christ…" Mackenzie mumbled and rolled over and grabbed her phone. "Benson," she said a little too roughly because the other person spoke warily.

"I'm sorry. Did I call at a bad time?" Came a husky Scottish accent. Mack shivered but not because it was cold but because of the sexy voice on the other line. _What in God's name is the matter with me?_

Clearing her throat and wiping the sleep from her eyes, Mack sat up in bed. "No, no…you didn't. I'm used to getting called at odd hours. Job hazard. What can I do for you Mrs. Stewart?"

Mack didn't realize what she sounded like in the morning. Helen felt herself melt when she heard the husky voice. She was having a hard time concentrating on what she was trying to say.

"I…uh…maybe I should call you back when you've had more sleep…" Helen stuttered.

Mackenzie just chuckled. "Mrs. Stewart, not many people would risk calling me at this time in the morning then hang up. Since I'm already awake, why not tell me what you need."

_Oh dear lord! How can anyone sound so utterly sexy at 7:30 in the morning?_ Helen thought.

"Uh…Mrs. Stewart? You still there?"

"Oh! I'm sorry! My mind just…uh…well…"

Husky laughter came from the other end. "Mrs. Stewart, it's alright. What time did you want to leave?"

Taking a breath, Helen replied, "If you don't mind, I'd like to get an early start. We'll try for half eight…"

"Uh…half eight?" Mack said a bit confused.

"Oh! I mean 8:30…I'm sorry. I'm not used to the American terms yet."

"That's ok. I'm gonna have to get used to your way of doing things anyways. I think that's a fair trade off, don't you think?" Mack was now getting out of bed and grabbing the items as she went.

Helen laughed and agreed. "I'll see you then." Making her way to the bathroom, Mack smiled.

"How about this…I'll make you breakfast before we go. I've got to feed Alex anyways. And don't worry; I'll make sure he doesn't gross you out this time."

"Well…"

"Come on Mrs. Stewart. Give me 30 minutes then come on over. I'll leave the door unlocked so you can just come on in."

"I don't know…" It wasn't that Helen didn't _want_ to go. She did in fact want to see Mackenzie again. And that made her nervous. She didn't know what that meant – she barely even knew the woman and she was looking forward to spending the morning with her.

"If you're not up for it, that's understandable but I will say please. How 'bout that?" Mack silently prayed that she said yes.

Sighing, Helen replied, "I won't promise anything."

_YESSS! _Mackenzie thought happily. _Why am I so excited in the first place? It's just breakfast._ She berated herself.

"Great. See you in 30 minutes." Hanging up, Mack raced into the shower and began to hum softly. _Oh dear God! I'm humming! It's just breakfast!! _

* * *

Helen hung up slowly. She wasn't all too sure what just happened. Her heart was beating wildly. _Oh for bloody sakes! It's just breakfast. You're acting like a school – girl. Stop it!_

But against her wishes, Helen found herself staring at her bathroom mirror. _What am I going to wear? _

Rummaging through her closet, Helen frantically threw a wild variety of shirts, dress pants and jeans and stood there with her hands on her hips. Biting her lower lip she threw her hands up in frustration.

"It just bloody breakfast!" She never did have this sort of problem with Nikki. But then again, she had met her wife in a prison and there was no reason to get all fussy over things like this. The thought of her late wife brought the emptiness back full force.

Slowly sinking down to the bed, Helen just sat there. Wrapping her arms around herself, she simply sat there, alone in her darkened room. Feeling tears starting to form, Helen simply willed them back and sat up a bit straighter.

_That's enough tears young lady. No use in crying anymore. Your mother is with God now…_the echo of her father's voice rang so clearly in her head. Ever since her mother had passed away, her father was nothing but a cold and an unfeeling man. He never once asked if she was all right after mother's funeral. He just simply told her that there was no point for her tears. _What's done is done…_

She learned at a very young age to hide her emotions. _Tears are for the weak, Helen. This world will walk all over you if you show them weakness…_that's what her father used to say to her when he saw the tears in his daughter's eyes. But in the end it didn't matter. Life took whatever it wanted.

Her father never approved of anything she did in her life. He most certainly did not approve of Nikki Wade. She was not only a criminal but also a _woman _and to Rev. Douglas Stewart, that was the biggest disappointment.

Swallowing her tears, Helen stood up and picked out a top and a pair of slacks. Looking down at her watch she saw that she had less the 10 minutes to get ready. _Crap…_

* * *

Helen knocked but she got no answer. She tried the door and it slid open as promised. She made her way into the loft and slid the door shut behind her.

"Hello?" Helen called out. Nothing. She did, however hear Harry Connick. Jrsinging in the bathroom. She heard Mackenzie singing in the background. _She's pretty good…_

"…_Workin' in a coal mine, __goin' down down down  
Workin' in a coal mine. __Whew! About to slip down  
Workin' in a coal mine, __goin' down down down  
Workin' in a coal mine. __Whew! About to slip down…_

_Five o'clock in the mornin  
I'm already up and gone  
Lord, I'm so tired  
How long can this go on_...

Smiling, Helen couldn't help but listen to the husky voice of Mackenzie in the shower. She wandered closer to the bathroom door which was opened just enough for Helen to peek in. Mack had just stepped out of the shower and was now drying off. Eyes widening, Helen stood mesmerized by the sheer beauty of olive complexion over muscle.

With mouth dry, Helen couldn't tear her eyes away even though she just knew that she would get caught. As Mackenzie turned slightly and the light hit her back, Helen's eyes widen in horror at the sight. She put a hand to her mouth to stop her from making a sound.

All across Mackenzie's back were old scars that looked like someone had taken a whip to her. There also was what appeared to be, a knife wound around her rib cage. Realizing that Mack was now fully dressed, Helen quickly stepped back and sat on the sofa just as Mack was coming out.

"Oh! Hey! Didn't hear you come in…" she said as she finished pulling a shirt over her body. Mack's hair was still damp and drops of water slid down the side of her face, which did nothing to stop her from looking utterly sexy.

Trying not to blush but failing miserably, Helen smiled as if there wasn't a care in the world.

"I knocked but no one came so I tried the door."

Mack knew something was up. She looked suspiciously at Helen but Alex saved her.

"Mama…I'm all packed…" Alex came around to see Helen sitting on the couch. Looking at his mom shyly Alex sucked in his bottom lip and shuffled his feet. He did his best not to hide behind his mom but held on to her leg.

Smiling down at her son, she gently laid a hand on his head and winked at him. Alex slowly but shyly made his way over to where Mrs. Stewart was sitting and climbed up to sit next to her. The only sign that showed his fear was the fact that he held his teddy bear tightly.

Helen couldn't help but feel a tenderness she didn't know she was capable of feeling. Smiling down softly at Alex, Helen did her best to make him feel at ease around her.

"Well hello again young man. You look quite dapper in your outfit."

Alex smiled bashfully Helen. Mack sat on the coffee table and smiled brightly at her son. The little boy looked at Helen and asked quietly, "What does that mean?"

"Dapper?" Seeing Alex's little head nod, Helen smiled and quietly replied, "It means you look very handsome in your outfit."

Covering his mouth while he giggled, Helen couldn't resist and placed a loving hand on Alex's head and laughed along with him.

"I'm not handsome! I'm too young to be handsome!" Alex giggled harder which made both women laugh along with him.

"I suppose your right young man. How about charming then?" Alex didn't bother to reply because he just laughed harder and rested his head on her shoulder, which won him a soft squeeze from the beautiful Scot.

Mack was left speechless at how quickly Alex opened up to Helen. _Your husband is one hell of a lucky guy_ thought Mack. Pain pierced her heart and Mack stood quickly. Clearing her throat, Mack threw the towel over her shoulder and turned to her bedroom.

"I'm gonna get myself ready then I'll make some breakfast for you both. Be right back."

Nodding, Helen watched as Mackenzie stalked off to her bedroom. Feeling Alex get up she focused her attention on the boy.

"I have an idea…" she said secretively. Alex found himself leaning in more with wide eyes.

"Why don't you and I make breakfast for your mummy? Think she'll like that?" Nodding wildly, Alex smiled brightly.

"No one's made breakfast for mama before."

"We better get started then before your mummy comes out," Helen said as she got up. "What do you normally have?" She asked as they both made their way to the kitchen.

"French toast…" Alex said as he held in one hand his bear. The other hand was firmly held in the warm grasp of Helen's soft hand.

"I'm going to need your help…"

"OK!" Alex said a little too loudly. Laughing quietly, Helen put a finger to her mouth.

"Shhhh…we don't want mummy to hear."

"Oh yeah…I forgot," Alex said in a hushed tone. He then tip toed to the fridge and opened it as quietly as he could, which only caused Helen to laugh. He grabbed a cartoon of eggs and handed them to Helen. He then pointed Helen to the breadbox.

"I'll grab the plates and you can set the table up while I get these ready." Nodding excitedly, Alex was literally bouncing on the spot as he waited for Helen to hand him the plates.

_Mama's gonna be so surprised!_ Alex thought. Helen caught sight of his expression and ruffled his hair. She winked at him then turned to the stove and got ready.

* * *

_Damn it! I'm gonna be rushing for time…again…five tops and I still can't decide._ Mack stared at the mess that was on her bed. Sighing, Mack covered her eyes and grabbed whatever shirt she came in contact with.

"Green! There is no way I'm wearing that…ah! Here we go…" tossing the green shirt behind her Mack grabbed a white tank top and yanked it on then grabbed a tight dark blue shirt and pulled it over the white.

"There…that was easy enough. Now for my hair…" Running her hands through her hair, she prayed that it didn't look that bad. Mack normally didn't wear make up because of her complexion. _Thank God for that…_

Taking a deep breath to calm her nerves, Mack got a whiff of a yummy smell. _What the…_Mack gave her self a once over then left her room to investigate.

Following the smell to the living room, Mack saw that Helen was at the stove with Alex standing right next to her on a chair. Helen kept a firm arm around Alex to prevent him from falling.

Mackenzie could hear Helen's soft voice, "now on the count of three, you can flip it over. Here we go…1…2…3…Very good!" Hearing the squeals of delight from her son, Mack just leaned against the wall stuffed her hands in her pockets and watched.

Mack seemed to find the scene…peaceful. This was a feeling that had eluded her for years and now that it found her in the strangest way, she wasn't all too sure how to deal with it. _Of course I'd find it in a straight married woman. The one thing I've been looking for is something I can't have…_

Mackenzie was lost in thought when Helen caught sight of her. Whispering, Helen let Alex know they were caught, "I think we've been had." She gestured towards the hallway where Mack was leaning.

"Oh no!" Alex covered his face with his small hands and peeked through his fingers. Turning off the stove and placing the last piece of toast on a plate, Helen held her arms out to Alex and the little boy climbed in.

Helen held on to him for a minute longer and just soaked in the warmth of the child's arms around her neck. She desperately longed to have a child of her own. Alex was in no rush to let go either. He seemed to fit comfortably in Helen's arms as if he was made just for her.

Again, Mack was amazed at how natural it felt to see Helen with Alex. She also saw the look of yearning and love wash over Helen's face and was immediately flooded with the urge to walk over to her and kiss her senseless.

Clearing her throat Mack slowly walked over to the kitchen. "You guys made breakfast with out me?" She did her best to sound hurt. Alex turned in Helen's arms and spoke to his mom as if he were speaking to a slow child, "mama, it's _supposed_ to be a surprise."

Helen laughed out loud at the tone Alex had used. Mack just put her hands on her hips and made a face at Helen. Mack then held her arms out and Alex jumped right into them. She squeezed him tight and kissed his cheek.

"I'm very surprised. Thank you very much."

"It was Mrs. Stewart's idea mama. I just helped flip them over." Glancing at Helen, Mack saw that she was blushing.

"Well, thank you Mrs. Stewart." Mack smiled and winked at Helen who smiled shyly.

"Well…what are we waiting for? All your hard work is going to get cold." Mack tossed Alex in the air, which got a squeal from him and caught him easily then set him down in his chair.

Walking over to Helen, Mack took hold of one of her hands and gently squeezed it. "Thank you," she whispered close to Helen's ear. Helen shivered as Mackenzie's warm breath brushed the side of her face then made its way down her neck.

Losing all sense of speech, Helen just nodded. She moved to her chair but then stopped when she felt Mack's arm brush against hers as Mack pulled out her chair for her. Giving Mack a quick and quiet thank you, Helen started serving out breakfast.

Mack sat down at the other end of the small table. Both women listened as Alex went into detail about his cousin's guitar and how 'cool' it sounded. Alex of course wanted one for himself.

"Why don't you use mine? It's just collecting dust…" Mack offered. Alex looked at his mama with wide eyes.

"Really?" Seeing Mack nod Alex exclaimed, "Awesome!" Finishing off his last piece of French toast he jumped down and took off for his mom's room to look for the guitar. Chuckling to herself Mack picked up her plate as well as Alex's and placed them into the sink.

"That was delicious, Mrs. Stewart. Thank you very much…"

"My pleasure…" Helen instantly regretted saying that. She blushed furiously then quickly picked up her own plate and placed it in the sink as well. They both leaned against the counter and stood quietly.

"You know, you _can_ call me Helen. Mrs. Stewart makes me feel old." Helen tried to lighten the mood. Nodding, Mack just shoved her hands in her pocket.

"So…how long have you played?" Helen tried again. She wasn't used to the much silence.

"I started in my teens. I haven't played for about 10 years..." Mack shrugged as she trailed off. Looking down at her watch Mack pushed herself off of the counter, "We better get going. I'll just go grab my jacket."

Before Helen could say anything, Mack was already moving towards her room. Helen just stood there stunned. _What just happened? _Helen then remembered the scars on Mackenzie's back. _How could anyone do that? _

She snapped out of her musings as she heard Mack and Alex disagreeing about the guitar.

"But you just said I can use it…"

"I didn't mean right this second. Besides, it's bigger then you. I'll get you a one that's smaller…" Mack said as she slid her jean jacket on.

"But I want that one!" Alex stopped and stomped his foot. Mackenzie turned around and stared unimpressed with her son's attitude. Crossing her arms against her chest, Mack raised an eyebrow.

"Excuse me?" Helen saw Mack clench and unclench her jaw.

Alex looked chastised enough to mumble an apology but not enough to back down. "How come I can't bring it with me?" Alex grumbled as he grabbed his bag from the sofa. Sighing, Mack pinched the bridge of her nose. _Not now kid…_

"We will talk about this when I get home, alright? Now get your jacket and let's go…" Mackenzie grabbed her keys and cell phone and headed for the door. Helen was picking up her briefcase and had slung her jacket over her arm when she heard Alex say something that she never thought to hear.

"You suck!" He grabbed his baseball hat and jammed it on his head. Eyes widening, Helen remained glued to the spot. She heard Mackenzie inhaling deeply.

"ALEXANDER!" Helen jumped a little. Although they had just meet the day before, Helen got the feeling that Mackenzie rarely raised her voice or temper at her son. Wanting to defuse the situation before it got out of hand Helen knelt down in front of Alex.

"Young man, I don't think that was not the proper thing to say to your mummy," she said gently but as firmly as she could. Helen didn't want Alex to think that she was ganging up on him. Looking down at his feet, Alex shrugged. Pressing her lips together, Helen lifted the boy's chin with the crook of her finger and looked at him expectantly.

"Do you want to say something to your mummy?" she said softly. Shoulders sagging in defeat, Alex nodded. Standing up Helen offered her hand to him and they both stood in front of Mackenzie who had knelt down to eye level with Alex.

"Sorry" said the little voice. Mackenzie and Helen heard it…a sniffle. Mackenzie's heart broke at the sound. She hated being upset with her son, that's why she did her best to be as patient with him as she could. Wrapping her arms around her son, she kissed the top of his head then whispered in his ear.

"I'm sorry too." Alex wrapped his arms around his mama's neck and rested his head in the crook of his mama's neck. Gathering up Alex as she stood, Mackenzie gave a grateful look to Helen who just gave her a small smile.

The three of them made there way out into the hallway. Turning to Helen Mack quietly said, "I'm just going to drop him off at my sister's place." Nodding Helen followed them down the hall.

Knocking on the door Mack stood back and waited as locks were being unlocked. Then the door flew open.

"What took you so long? What's wrong with junior?" Charlie asked as she snapped her gum. Mack gave her an annoyed look.

Ignoring her question Mackenzie just asked, "Where's your mom?" She had begun gently rubbing Alex's back. She felt his tears hit her neck as they were walking down the hall.

Moving to the side, Charlie motioned for Mack to come in. Mackenzie led Helen inside Olivia and Brady's loft. Only then did Charlie notice the new stranger. Charlie gave Helen a once over and shrugged. Rolling her eyes at the teen Mack just sighed in annoyance.

"Get your parents…_now_!"

Throwing up her hands, Charlie just turned around and mumbled, "Alright, alright…no need to get all twisted about it…YO MA! THEY'RE HERE!"

Closing her eyes in irritation Mack counted slowly to ten. _This is too early for any of this…_she felt a soft hand on her arm.

Helen had placed a calming hand on Mackenzie's arm – she sensed that she was on her last fuse. Whatever the problem was, Helen knew it had nothing to do with Alex, or Charlie…or with herself for that matter. It was much bigger then that. Whatever it was, it had started long before Helen got here.

"Charlie! I already told you a thousand times…you don't have to yell…" Brady trailed off as she came down the stairs and noticed Helen. Seeing the hand on Mack's arm, Brady smiled brightly and stuck out her hand.

"Hi. I'm Bradanna."

"Uh…hello. Helen Stewart." Brady cocked her head to the side as she glanced at Mack. She just gave Brady a cheesed off look. Brady raised an eyebrow but didn't say a thing. She just placed a hand on Alex's back. The boy looked up and wiped the tears from his eyes.

Brady looked back at Mack questioningly who was saved from replying.

"Baby, where did you put the new shirts for Kayla? I couldn't find them in the…oh! Hi there…" Olivia smiled as she stood next to her wife and wrapped an arm around her waist.

Helen looked from Mack to Olivia then back again. The resemblance was uncanny. Helen turned at the sound of soft laughter. Brady gave her a knowing smile.

"They get that all the time. If Mack were just a little taller, they'd be twins."

"Why do I have to be the one to grow taller?" Mackenzie whined.

"I can't grow shorter smartass," Olivia supplied. Brady elbowed her wife in the ribs.

"Language!" Huffed Brady. Shrugging, Olivia made an 'oppss' face and winked at Helen. Helen stole a glance at Mack and saw that she wore a scowl on her face as she stared at her sister.

Noticing Alex was quiet; Olivia leaned to one side and softly spoke to him.

"Hey partner. How's it going?" Not getting a reply, Olivia looked at Mack. Sighing, Mack patted Alex's back. The boy lifted his head and stared sadly at his mama. Resting her forehead against his, Mack softly spoke to her son.

"We'll talk about this when I get home, Ok? I promise." Nodding against his mama's forehead, Alex wiped his face. Wrapping her arms around him, Mack gave him a hug and whispered in his ear. "I love you. You know that, right?" Nodding again, Alex whispered just as quietly.

"I love you too mommy. I'm sorry."

"I'll see you later Bud."

Handing Alex over to Liv, Mack kissed Brady on the cheek then kissed her sister as well. "We've got to get going. The Captain will have my rear end if I'm late…again." Reaching down and taking hold of Helen's hand, Mack led then too the door.

"Tell the rug rats I said hi." And with that, Mack and Helen were out the door.

Olivia and Brady just looked at each other and smiled.

"She seemed nice…" Olivia said absentmindedly. Nodding, Brady had a feeling that they would be seeing more of Helen.

* * *

Both women were quiet during the elevator ride down. It wasn't until they were settled in the car that Mack finally spoke.

"I'm sorry…" Mack softly said. Helen looked over at her and saw that Mack was staring down at her hands.

"For what?" Helen wasn't sure why Mackenzie was apologizing.

Mack shook her head as she laughed unemotionally. Still not looking at Helen, Mack quietly explained. "Alex, my sister…me…"

Helen sat there flabbergasted. _She's sorry for…what? Being normal? _She also heard the shame in her voice. Shaking her head, Helen reached out and again, placed a warm hand on Mackenzie's forearm.

"You don't have to be sorry for any of that. You're only human you know." Helen smiled gently at the last sentence. "It must be hard being a single mum?"

Mack made the mistake of look at Helen. Again, she was rendered speechless. She felt the heat rise from where Helen still had her hand on her arm. Swallowing, Mackenzie gently eased her arm from Helen's grasp and was immediately filled with an empty feeling.

Looking away, Mack cleared her throat and started the car. They were both silent for most of the ride. Helen was worried and stole glances as Mackenzie drove. About 20 minutes into the drive, Helen couldn't take it anymore.

"Have I done something wrong?"

Mack, who had been concentrating on the traffic in front of her, snapped her head around. "What?" _Why would she think that?_

"You heard me. So what have I done?" Helen was a mixture of angry and hurt although the angry part of her was slowly wining.

Shaking her head in confusion, Mack just simply looked baffled. "What are you talking about?" Mack glanced from Helen to the traffic then back to Helen.

"Stop that! Just bloody look at me! Pull over if you have too!" Helen's patience's with her had finally worn out. She was going to get to the bottom of this.

Mackenzie just stared wide-eyed then quickly looked for a place to pull over and parked. She sat there like a child caught with a hand in the cookie jar. Avoiding Helen's gaze, Mack just looked everywhere but at her.

Sighing loudly, Helen unbuckled her seat belt and reached out and grabbed Mackenzie's chin and forced her to look her way. Not having a choice, all Mack could do was slow her racing heart.

"I'm I doing something wrong?" Helen's face was so close that all she had to do was lean forward and their lips would be touching. Mack had to remember to breath when an image of Helen kissing her popped into her mind. _Focus! Christ! Get you brain out of the damn gutter! _

"Will you say something?" Helen still had Mack's chin and she slightly shook her. Blinking back the image the just wouldn't go away, Mackenzie frantically gathered her wits.

"Nothing…" Mack croaked. Clearing her throat and trying again, Mackenzie took a breath to steady herself. "Nothing is wrong. Why would you think that?"

Helen's eye narrowed with suspicion. _Right…and I'm the bloody Queen…_her lips formed a thin line in annoyance. Knowing that she wasn't going to get an honest answer, Helen shook her head and sat back with her arms crossed over her chest.

Mack just sat there not knowing what to do. She began to fiddle with whatever she could get her hands on. Glancing at Mack, Helen threw her hands up in the air in frustration, "Sod it! Just bloody drive!"

Mack did as she was told and started the car. Just when Mackenzie thought she was in the clear she heard Helen say quietly, "don't think this conversation is over." After that Helen kept to herself.

* * *

At the station, Mack kept shoving her hands into her pockets then taking them back out again. She had never been so nervous around anyone before. And she never had the urge to make things right with anyone.

"Um…the Captain's office is over here…" Mack said quietly as she pointed down the hall. Nodding but not saying a word to her, Helen just kept quiet and followed.

"Was there a fire at your place or something?"

"What are you talking about Lake?" Mack had no idea what the heck he was talking about. _Fire? What fire? _

Looking down at his watch with a smirk on his face Lake simply stated, "It's 9:15…and you're here. You're never that early…"

Mack heard a few chuckles behind her and she threw Chester a pissed off look and as she passed him, elbowed him hard.

"Mature," Helen whispered as Mack caught up to her. Looking wearily at her, Mackenzie shrugged.

"You try having him as a partner…"

"My sympathies." Mack almost smiled at that.

"Here we are." Standing slight straighter, Mack knocked before she stepped in. "Sir…"

Looking up from his paper work Captain Cragen motioned for the two women to come in and have a seat. He held his hand out to Helen, "Hello, I'm Captain Cragen. I hope my detective has been treating you well."

Swallowing, Mack unconsciously held her breath. Out of the corner of her eye Helen saw Mack squirm just slightly. A mischievous smile spread across Helen's face as she answered, "As a matter of fact…" Helen saw the look the Captain gave Mack and decided to have pity on her. "…She has been impeccably gracious. We are actually staying in the same building. I've met her son as well – charming young man."

"That's good to hear. Now, Mrs. Stewart…" Cragen looked down at the papers and files that were on his desk. This gave Mack enough time to turn to Helen and silently thanked her. Helen gave her a small smile.

"Please, call me Helen."

Cragen smiled warmly. "Helen…exactly what will you be needing from New York's finest?" Helen reached down and pulled out two thick folders and handed them to Mackenzie and the Captain.

"As you can see we, my wife and I have been compiling…"

Mack didn't hear the rest of the conversation. _Hold on…Wife? Did I hear that right? She has a wife? No wonder my insides have been going bonkers. And here I thought she was straight and this whole time she's been batting for our team…talk about mixed signals! And nothing is still going to happen. She is MARRIED! No looking, no touching no anything. Got that Benson? She's off limits!_

"BENSON!"

"Huh? What?" Quickly snapping out of her musings, Mack was face to face with an irritated Captain and a concerned Helen. Feeling the rush of embarrassment creep up along her neck and up to her cheeks, Mack tried desperately to slide smoothly out of this pickle but was doomed.

Rubbing the back of her neck, Mackenzie cleared her throat. "Umm…what were you saying Mrs. Stewart?" she said awkwardly. Cragen leaned back in his chair and gave Mackenzie a hard stare. _Oh boy…I've done it now…_

"Mrs. Stewart, do you mind if I speak with my detective in private?" The room was dead quiet. Helen looked from Cragen to Mack with a troubled expression on her face.

"I…uh…no I don't mind." Helen said slowly. She glanced at Mackenzie who was staring down at the ground looking defeated. Helen's heart went out to the young detective. It seemed to Helen that Mackenzie kept getting knocked down at every moment of the day. _It' s no wonder she's moody. _

As Helen gathered her briefcase with one hand, she rested her other on Mack's hand giving her as much support as she could. Helen stood and was about to leave when she felt Mack turn her hand over and gave hers a little squeeze. Helen quickly glanced at her and gave a small smile then turned to wait outside.

Captain Cragen stood and placed his hands in his pockets and leaned against the wall behind his desk. Mack still had her eyes glued to the ground but when Cragen spoke, she looked up and met his gaze.

Rubbing the back of his neck, Cragen carefully chose his words. "I know we've already spoken about this…" Cragen trailed off. He saw Mackenzie slightly stiffen in her chair. Sighing deeply, he sat back down in his chair and spoke quietly. "I'm putting you on suspension until further notice…" Holding up his hand to stop the young Benson from interrupting he gave her a gently look that only a 'father' can.

"Mackenzie…you've been pushing this for far too long. I just can't let this one go. You promised me…"

"And I said I'd go and talk to someone…"

"That was three years ago," Cragen said sharply. Closing his eyes, he inhaled deeply and continued quietly, "You don't give me much choice Mack. You're a good detective. That's why I can't let you do this to yourself. Let go of those demons…they'll just end up killing you in the end if you don't."

Mackenzie had sat silently listening. "I'll get my things later," and with that Mack stood and quietly left Cragen's office. He sat there staring out at Mackenzie and Mrs. Stewart. He watched them interact with each other. There was something about Mrs. Stewart that gave him a feeling that she was what Mack needed.

Praying that was true, Cragen looked at the file he was given by Helen. _Those two have their work cut out for them…_

* * *

Helen had sat across the hall watching through the glass. She watched as Mackenzie listened intently to what her Captain had to say – which wasn't good by the looks of it because Mack leaned forward to say something when Captain Cragen stopped her.

She saw Mack's shoulder's slump in defeat at what the Captain said and it tore at Helen. She waited anxiously as she watched Mackenzie stand up and head for the door. Helen was at Mackenzie's side in a flash.

"What did he say?" Before she could stop herself, Helen had placed a comforting hand on Mackenzie's back. She felt her stiffen then relax at her touch. The look on Mackenzie's face killed Helen.

Smiling a sad smile, Mack just shrugged. "Detective stuff." Then looking away Mackenzie swallowed the emotions that welled up inside of her and took a deep breath. When she turned back, Helen saw a haunted look in Mackenzie's eyes that frightened her. Mack seemed to have aged in a span of a minute.

Knowing that, some how, Helen could see through her, Mack looked down at her watch avoiding her gaze. Running a hand through her hair Mackenzie spoke tiredly, "its 10:30 now. Why don't we head on over to the centre and I can show you around. Introduce you to the people you'll be working with. Then we can have lunch…"

Helen knew what she was trying to do. And although she wanted to deal with the issue right then and there she knew she had to give Mack the time and space to work it out on her own.

Nodding and smiling at her, Helen agreed. "That sounds like a plan." They both fell silent as they walked through the halls of the 1-6. Mack seemed to be a favourite amongst the officers here. She watched as Mackenzie said her hellos to each officer or detective she passed.

Near the elevators Helen had been explaining what she had said in the office with Cragen when the detective from that morning came sauntering over.

"Hey partner! Someone's looking for you…" Chester said as he jogged the short distance. Lake always seemed to have real bad timing…for everything.

"Take a message. I'm outta here…" Mack said as she manoeuvred Helen towards the waiting elevator.

Seemingly uncomfortable, Chester just cleared his throat and lowered his voice so Helen couldn't hear. "It's…uh…I tried but it's Detective Jefferies…." He watched as Mack rubbed the back of her neck and winced.

"Did she say what she wanted?" Mackenzie was not having a good morning. The only bright spot was the time she spent with Helen despite Helen being upset with her for most of it.

Shaking his head Chester offered to cover for her. "Forget it. I've got nothing to hide from her. Where is she?" Chester pointed to the end of the hall and hung back as Mack quietly spoke with Helen.

"Um…Helen…I just need to take care of a problem. I shouldn't be long." Helen nodded. "Good…I'll be right back. Chester…make yourself useful and stay with Helen." Chester stood next to Helen as the two watched Mackenzie head down the hall towards a tall dark haired woman.

Helen stared and then she felt it…jealousy. _Why the hell am I jealous? I don't even know Mack and I'm already jealous?_

It must have showed on her face because Chester smiled to himself and said, "bad blood between the two." Helen just glanced at Detective Lake as he continued. "I don't know how she does it. Mack, I mean. She's already made it clear that she isn't remotely interested at all. But Jefferies just keeps coming back. I guess Jefferies just needs proof…"

"Proof?" was all Helen could say. _What on earth is he talking about?_

Nodding, Chester crossed his arms across his chest. "Proof that Mack isn't available anymore. It'll defiantly help get Detective Jefferies off her back for good..."

"Oh…" was all Helen could say. Detective Lake smiled to himself as he saw the wheels turning in Helen's head.

"Uh…Detective Lake? Will you excuse me? I'm in a bit of a hurry and Mack is my only ride…."

Smiling brightly Chester just nodded, "no problem at all. Go right ahead…." He barely finished his sentence when Helen just walked off in the direction of Mack.

Chuckling to himself Chester went back into the squad room. "What are you up to Lake?" Turning to see Fin and Stabler standing there he just shrugged innocently.

"Just making myself useful…"

"It's about time…" mumbled Elliot. All three just stood and watched the scene play out at a safe distance.

* * *

"You haven't returned my calls…"

"There's a reason for that. I don't want them." Mackenzie had enough of this. She was beyond tired of this.

"Baby you don't mean that…" Monique had reached out to caress Mack's cheek but Mackenzie just jerked away as if she had gotten burnt.

"No! Just stop it! I'm not your damn baby!" Mack couldn't understand why she had done what she did 2 years ago. "Look…just because we slept together _one night_ doesn't mean a thing. _You_ don't mean a thing to me…"

"It could be more then just one night if you'll just let me…"

"We were drunk for god sakes! And there is no way in hell I want more then one night with you!"

Mack was struggling to keep her voice down and her temper in check. She just prayed that Helen wasn't around to see it.

"You're making it sound cheap…"

Mackenzie couldn't take it anymore. She took a step towards Monique when she felt a soft hand close around hers. Feeling soft lips against her cheek, Mack's heart stopped.

"Helen…" she said softly.

"I've been looking all over for you, love. Chester said you were here…oh! I'm sorry! I didn't realize you were busy. Should I leave you two alone?" Helen sweetly. Mack was still in shock at the sweet pressure of Helen's lips on her cheek.

"Um…I…uh…no…that's alright. We're done." Mack's brain had ceased to function at that moment. _God…she has soft lips…_

Helen gently squeezed Mackenzie's hand and smiled and winked at her. Then turning to Monique who was just as speechless as Mack was, smiled so sweetly that Mackenzie made a mental note to be wary if Helen ever turned that smile on her.

"We'll be going now." And with that, Helen turned and led Mack back to the elevators. Knowing that they were being watched closely by Detective Jefferies Helen did her best to make a show out of this.

"Are you alright?" She whispered. Nodding, Mack just stood in a daze. "I'm just going to put my arms around you, alright?" Not waiting for a reply, Helen slid her hands around Mack. She instantly felt the muscles under her hands contract as Mackenzie tensed up.

"It's ok sweetheart. It's almost over…wrap your arms around me…good girl…" she whispered gently. Helen snuggled closer and rested her head on Mack's strong shoulder. She heard Mackenzie's breathing catch. Helen slowly caressed Mack's rigid back and felt her relax visibly. Helen stole a peek over Mack's shoulder.

"Damn it! She's still watching…" she whispered. Deciding to go out with a bang, Helen stood on tip toe and nuzzled Mack's neck. Hearing a soft whimper, Helen looked at Mack with worry etched on her face. "Are you sure you're alright?" Mack nodded. Concerned for Mackenzie but seeing no choice since she could clearly see Monique Jefferies still watching like a hawk.

"Mackenzie…" Helen's warm breath washed over Mack's neck. Mackenzie found it hard to concentrate. Oblivious to what she was doing to Mack, Helen just continued to whisper against her neck. "She's still watching…I don't have any other choice…" And with that, Helen reached up and placed a warm soft kiss on Mack's neck making sure Monique saw every bit of it.

Mackenzie nearly passed out at the pleasure that flowed through her. Eyes fluttering shut, Mack tried to breathe normally. Mack's hands slid down to Helen's waist and gently held her there. _Oh dear Lord! Breathe…in…and out…inhale…exhale…_

Then the ding of the elevator broke the spell. Mackenzie almost moaned out loud. Helen nuzzled Mack's again then stepped out of the embrace and led them into the waiting elevator.

Monique stood there for a moment then stormed off.

* * *

"Oh. My. God."

"Uh-hu…"

"Amen brother…"

Fin, Lake and Stabler stood transfixed. What they just saw could have melted the sun. All three stood like that for a few minutes until Casey came strolling by.

"I just saw Mackenzie having a little PDA action going on. Good for her…it's about time. Who was that woman she was with by the way?"

"Helen…" all three said still dazed.

"_OK_…so what exactly are we watching?"

"Helen…" all three repeated.

"Oh God…you're disgusting…" Casey Novak walked away shaking her head.

* * *

Outside the station, Helen carefully led Mackenzie back to the car. _Maybe I shouldn't have done that…_

"You don't look fine…" Helen said for the third time. Mack was awfully quiet. Helen helped Mack into the drivers side then slid into the passenger side. Turning to face Mackenzie, Helen again apologized.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know what else to do. Chester had mentioned something…"

"I'm ok…" Mack said very quietly. Still not fully convinced, Helen just sat staring at Mackenzie. She just sat there looking…lost.

Not knowing what else to do to get Mackenzie to snap out of, Helen reached over and grabbed Mack's face and brought it to close to hers. Once there lips touched, time seemed to suspend it's self.

Helen's lips were soft and warm as they moved over Mack's. Helen first sucked Mack's upper lip then the bottom then she slid her tongue in Mackenzie's awaiting mouth. After that, they were both lost to the sensations they were creating. They vaguely heard someone moaning but neither was sure who it was. Helen's hands tangled themselves in the soft thickness of Mack's hair.

A honk of a horn, in salute or in protest, tore the two apart. Both breathing heavily and neither one able to look at each other, they settled back into there seats. They were silent for a moment.

"I'm sorry…oh God, I'm so sorry…" stuttered Mack. Letting out a breath she didn't know she was holding in, Mack glanced at Helen. She was staring out the window. Mackenzie slowly turned back to stare out at the street. Quietly, she started the car.

Helen reached up and lightly touched her lips with shaking fingers. She licked her lips and tasted Mackenzie. She closed her eyes and willed an image of Nikki into her mind. Instead, all she could remember was texture of Mackenzie's lips on hers.

A lone tear fell from her eye as she realized that Nikki was slowly fading from her heart.

_Nikki…please don't leave me…_


	7. Let Me Start Over

Sorry this took awhile. First my computer had a virus and I had to get that fixed. Then I had trouble finishing this chapter...hope this is worth the wait.

I own nothing.

* * *

Let Me Start Over

The drive to the centre was taking much longer then expected. The silence inside the car…now that was a different matter altogether. Mackenzie and Helen were avoiding the other's gaze like a plague.

Mackenzie wasn't at all upset about the kiss – she loved every bit of it. That's what was troubling Mack – the fact she _enjoyed_ kissing a married woman. _That's not it and you know it! Why don't you just admit it! _

Truth be told, it wasn't about kissing a married woman – not that she made it a habit. It was the woman she had kissed that made it so satisfying. Something about the fiery Scot brought out this intense emotion that she didn't know she had. She loved kissing _Helen_ and she wanted to do it again. _Keep dreaming pal! It ain't gonna happen again…_

Mack secretly glanced at Helen who had been staring out the window since that kiss. Mack wanted to apologize again but it was made difficult by the way Helen held herself. Turning back to the road, Mack just wallowed in her thoughts.

* * *

For Helen, she wasn't too upset for kissing another woman. She knew in time she'd have to move on eventually – she just didn't realize it would be so soon. _That's not true Helen…_. She doubted that she would have had the same response to another woman. It was _Mackenzie_ herself. Something about Mack unlocked a fierce passion in Helen that was just under the surface. It was a feeling she never had with Nikki…and she felt guilty for feeling that way.

In her defence, Helen found Mackenzie undeniably attractive. Even the small things made Helen's heart beat faster - the way Mack's hair would fall into her eyes, the way she walked with a small swagger, the way her eyes could make you feel so safe and the way her crooked smile made her weak in the knees.

When Helen had held Mackenzie back at the station, she felt the muscles under hands. Mack wasn't bulging with them…they were perfectly the right shape and in the right spots. She loved how they flexed because of her touch and she itched to do it again. And when Mack had her hands around her…Helen melted. Yes, she wanted nothing more then to crawl into her strong arms and stay there forever.

Then an image of the scars on Mackenzie's back popped into her head. She had never seen anything like it. A wave of protectiveness fell over her and she almost reached out to Mackenzie in a protective way.

She sadly glanced at Mack. Helen quietly wished that she were a different person in a different time. Maybe then she'd risk falling in love with the strong and quiet detective.

Helen didn't know how long she had been staring because the next thing she knew, she was staring into soft brown eyes.

"Helen, we're here," Mack said softly. Helen noticed that Mackenzie's hands were still on the steering wheel holding on for dear life. Helen just nodded and turned to open the door. Helen heard Mack get out and saw her reach for the passenger door.

"Thank you." Helen cautiously avoided brushing against Mack as she got out. Mack also stood as far as could.

"I'll get your briefcase…." Helen stood to the side and waited. Mack then led the way into Tender Hugs Centre being careful not to touch Helen.

"We take in the kids that foster care has no place for. We also take the ones that keep getting sent back to homes that brought them to us first place. Sometimes child services just don't know what to do with certain kids…" Mack trailed off and shrugged.

Helen nodded as she listened. "I thought I was going to be dealing with female ex-cons?"

"You are. I just thought I'd give you a tour of the place where it all started. Come on…you'll get to meet a familiar face…or two." Mack winked and gave Helen a crooked smile.

Helen lost her footing on the first step when she saw that smile. Mack quickly caught her and helped her up before she could do any damage.

"Are you alright Helen?" Mackenzie had one arm gently around Helen's shoulders while the other went to her waist to steady her. Helen had placed a hand in between the two of them to keep her from crashing into Mack's chest and she felt the muscles in Mack's abdomen tighten. Their faces were just inches apart and they stayed that way for a moment neither one of them wanting to move.

A force more powerful then there own was drawing them closer…_just a few more inches_…

"You two mind getting a room!"

Mack and Helen broke apart quickly. Both were flushed with desire and both were bright red with embarrassment at being caught.

Mackenzie cleared her throat and turned to Brady, who had a small smile on her face. With cheeks turning a darker shade of red, Mack tried to slow down her heart.

"Uh…hi…" Mack reached up and began to rub her neck. Brady took pity and engulfed her in a bear hug.

"Morning sweetie. How's your morning so far?" Brady stepped back but kept an arm around Mack. Shoving her hands into her pockets she shrugged.

"Ok. I guess. Why? Did the Captain call?"

"No. Not that I'm aware of. Should I be worried?" Brady leaned back and looked up into the eyes of the young Benson. Brady instinctively knew that Mack was hiding something. Mack was beginning to squirm under Brady's stare.

Gesturing over to Helen, Mack tried to divert Brady's attention to why they were both here and moved to stand by Helen. "Uh…Brady, you've met Helen this morning. I just brought her…"

Brady glanced at Helen and smiled. "Hello again." She turned to Mackenzie, "dare I hope this is a social call?" Brady said with a smirk. Mackenzie blushed even more and felt Helen inch her way behind her.

"Uh…no…that's not…it's not like that…" Mackenzie stammered. Brady's smile only widened. And she put up a hand to stop the flow of words.

"I'm only kidding honey." Brady reached up and kissed Mack's forehead. Then turning to Helen, she apologized. "I'm sorry. It's just so very rare that Mackenzie brings a woman over that when she does, I feel it's my obligation to tease her relentlessly. Please don't be offended."

Helen looked up at Mack whose face was now bright red and who was looking very uncomfortable. Helen liked Brady already. She looked back at Brady and gave her a small smile.

"No offence taken Mrs. Benson." Brady looked utter pleased by being called Mrs. Benson. She would never tire of hearing that. Brady motioned for the both of them to follow her.

Turning to Helen, Brady asked, "What brings you to New York?"

"I'm actually here to set up a program for female youths who are being released from prison…"

"Wait! Stewart-Wade?"

"Uh…yes that's me. Although I just go by Stewart now."

Brady, who was now in between the two of them, turned to Mack and gave her a good smack in the arm, "OW! What was that for?" Mack whined as she rubbed her arm. Brady just rolled her eyes at her.

"Oh please. All that muscle in that arm – you barely felt a thing. All you need is a cape and you'd be Superman's twin. "

"But it still hurt…" Mack mumbled as they stepped into Brady's office. "Batwoman…" Mackenzie mumbled. Helen and Brady just stared in confusion. "Superman sucks…"

Helen giggled at the look Brady was giving Mackenzie. Mack just winked at Helen. As they all sat down in there seats, Brady got down to the matter at hand.

"I had the pleasure of speaking to your wife a few months ago about the project. I'm glad that it was finally approved. I'm just curious though; I was under the impression that Mrs. Wade was going to be here…" Brady trailed off as she saw the sadness in Helen's eyes.

Brady was silent as she studied Helen. Brady gave Helen a comforting smile. Helen turned slightly away to wipe away the tears that were about to fall.

Brady turned to Mack who sat slightly forward with a gently hand on Helen's back. Mack looked up at Brady with a questioning look in her eyes but Brady just shook her head.

"Uh…Mack, you may want to take her over to Olivia's place and show her around that facility a bit later." Mack nodded. She was still confused about what happened between the two of them. She made a mental note to ask Brady about it before they left.

Helen cleared her throat. "I'd like to get a brief tour if you don't mind. Mackenzie mentioned this is where it 'all started.'"

Brady again gave Helen a bright smile. "No problem. Technically, everything started with this centre. But I got the idea from Mack actually…" she glanced at Mack when she heard her take in a sharp breath. Helen glanced from Mack to Brady then back to Mack.

"Um…well, I got the name from Mack. She always said that I gave such tender hugs. This is a place were the younger children can call home and actually feel like they _are_ home." Brady smiled. "Well then…let's get this tour started, shall we?"

Helen had a suspicion that both Brady and Mack were keeping something from her. Particularly Mackenzie. She didn't like being kept in the dark about things especially when she was going to be working closely with Mack.

Seeing no choice, Helen got up and followed both women into the hallway. Brady fell into step beside Helen while she explained what went on at the centre and the types of activities it involved. Obviously, Brady had left out certain details because of the looks she gave Mack who was walking a few feet ahead of both them.

It was also clear to Helen that Mack had been here many times before. But to what extent, Helen wasn't so sure. "My eldest volunteer's here as well. She helps out with the cooking…"

"Is that what they're calling it?" Hands on her hips stood Charlie. Helen recognized her from this morning. She had a smirk on her face as well as what appeared to be flour. Brady rolled her eyes as Mack grabbed her niece and spun her around. Letting go, Mack noticed she had flour all over her shirt.

"Can't you ever clean after yourself? You're such a mess!" She said jokingly. Charlie shoved her aunt and stuck her tongue out at her.

"Someone's feeling better…" the teen replied with a laugh. Mack just wrinkled her nose and ruffled the girl's hair. Charlie stood there mortified, "Oh my God! _Oh. My .GOD!_ You didn't just do that?"

Mackenzie laughed harder. Ripping off her apron, Charlie took off for Mack who sprinted down the hall. "You're _so_ gonna get it now!" The young girl yelled with a laugh.

Brady just shook her head. "Who needs anymore kids when I have those two?" Helen smiled at that.

Helen glanced at Mack who was laughing as she was put into a headlock. She couldn't help but laugh at the sight of the tough detective getting mauled by her niece. She wasn't sure what to make of this playful side. Mack had always been so serious around her and so gentle with Alex that this was a huge change.

"Girls! That's enough!" Brady said sternly but had a twinkle in her eye.

"You should see her with our youngest. Absolute push over. Just don't let her scowl scare you. She's a big 'ol teddy bear." Brady whispered as they neared the two. Both Mack and Charlie we're out of breath but had huge smiles on.

Helen stood next to Mackenzie who also now had flour in her hair as well on her face. Before she realized what she was doing, Helen reached up and gently wiped away the flour on Mack's face. Mack leaned in closer as to give Helen easier access. Both Charlie and Brady looked at each other with a look on their faces.

"Um…I'd better get beck to the kitchen. The place falls apart without me…" Charlie said as she began to walk backwards to the kitchen still watching Mack and this new woman Helen.

"You ready for Friday night?"

"Hell yeah. The question is, are you?" Mack replied as she tried her best to brush the flour stuck in her hair. Again, Helen reached up to help. Brady noticed how relaxed Mackenzie was with Helen. The way she moved around her spoke volumes.

Winking at her mom, Charlie quickly disappeared into the kitchen. Turning back to the two, Brady motioned for them to continue with the tour.

Mack once again was in front of the two women. As they passed various rooms, Helen noticed that a few were converted into classrooms while others were more activity-based rooms.

As they walked by one room with music blaring, Mack leaned against the metal doorframe and watched with a proud smile. Helen stood next to her and was impressed by what she saw.

A young boy around 11 or 12 years old was playing an electric guitar as if it were second nature to him. A young girl, maybe 8 or 9 years old was dancing along. And there was Alex, sitting on one of the desks watching the two in awe.

Moving quietly, Mack went farther into the room and cleared her throat. All 3 children turned at the sound. Eyes widened as they realized who their visitor was.

"MAMA!" Jumping down from his seat Alex came rushing down the short isle. Bending down Mack easily caught him and tossed him into the air. The other two kids came running forward and wrapped themselves around Mack's waist speaking all at once.

"Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Slow down guys! Easy!" Mack was laughing as all three were chattering at full volume. Helen and Brady laughed at how silly Mackenzie looked with Alex and the two other children hanging off her.

Looking at Helen, Mack smiled. "You wouldn't be laughing if this were you!" But there were no malice in her words. In fact Mackenzie looked as if she were having a ball.

"Ok you guys. Settle down." Listening to Brady, the two children let go but stayed close to their aunt. Brady and Helen wandered into the room. Stopping to stand in between the two children, Brady smiled brightly.

"These little rug rats are Sol and Briana. You've already met Charlie…"

"Charlie?" Helen wasn't sure if she heard that right.

Smiling, Mack answered first. "Charlotte is her real name. My sister gave her the nickname. As in Charlie Chaplin…she's the real clown in the family." Mack then turned to her son and kissed his head. "And this here is Alex…"

"_Mom_…she's already met _me_, 'member?"

Looking genuinely surprised Mack turned to Helen, "he's met you already?" Helen laughed and played along.

"Hmmm…I don't recall. Must be my old age acting up again…" Helen scratched her chin and looked thoughtful.

Alex looked horrified. He looked from his mama then to Helen then back to his mama. He could hear Sol and Ana giggling.

"_Mackenzie_…" Brady said warningly. Mack gave in when she saw the look of sadness in her son's eyes. She smiled gently at him and hugged Alex tight.

"Of course Helen remembers you. You're not just a regular young man, you know… " Mack looked desperately at Helen.

"You're mummy's right. You're _my_ charming young man. I could never forget that!" She held her hands out and Alex climbed in. Helen held him gently and walked over to one of the chairs and sat down.

"I believe your mummy was trying to make a joke. Looks like it didn't work."

Squatting down to meet her son's gaze, Mack quietly nodded in agreement. "Mama made a real bad stinker, didn't she?" Alex nodded. He sucked in his bottom lip and that small motion tore at both Helen and Mackenzie.

"Tell you what…Helen and I need to go and see Livie for a couple hours. When we're done, did you want to have…" Mack looked down at her watch and realized she had spent most of the lunch hour here at the centre, " a late lunch with us?"

Alex seemed to consider this. Helen and Mackenzie smiled at his little face as he scrunched up his nose in thought. "It's s'ok mama. We already ate today…" the boy trailed off as he saw disappointment in his mama's eyes, "but I never had dessert yet. Can we stop by the ice cream store?"

Smiling a little and feeling a bit better, Mack nodded. Clearing her throat and giving her head a small jerk, Mack looked at her son expectantly. Catching on, Alex turned to Helen and smiled. He wrapped his small arms around her neck, "You wanna come too, Mrs. Stewart?"

Looking back from Mack to Alex, Helen knew exactly what was going on. _So they're going to play that way, eh? _"Think you can play that game, yeah?" She said while laughing.

Knowing full well that they have been caught, Alex just shrugged. He glanced at his mama who just winked in return.

"Oy! I saw that! And I have to say…this is not fair. Two against one!" Helen had the cutest smile on her face – her tongue was hidden behind her teeth as she smiled and her eyes sparkled. Mackenzie felt like she had been kicked in gut - the air seemed to rush out from her.

She felt a hand on her shoulder. Mack turned and saw that both her son and Helen were looking at her strangely. Taking a deep breath, Mack smiled and held out her hands to Alex. With a speed that broke all boundaries, Alex jumped into his mama's waiting arms.

Kissing his cheek, Mack gave him a squeeze then set him down. "It's a date then. We will see you here in a couple of hours ok Bud?" Nodding instantly Alex hugged his mama then turned and gave Helen a hug and a kiss, which surprised both women.

Watching him run out of the room, Helen and Mack realized they were both alone. Sometime during the conversation, Brady and the kids had slipped out to give them some privacy. All that was left now was awkwardness.

Clearing her throat, Mackenzie scratched the back of her neck. "So…you, uh…do you want to finish up here? Or did you want to go straight over to Olivia's?"

Not looking directly at her, Helen nodded. "Uh…yeah. That be really nice…" Nodding as well, Mack stuck her hands in her pockets. The silence that hung between them was thick and the intensity from the kiss was still there.

"Um…ok…well we better go then…" Turning with out waiting for a reply, Mack headed out of the room. Helen silently followed Mack into the hallway.

"So you guys are off?" They turned around to see Brady heading for them.

"Yeah…figured I'd caused enough trouble here." Mack smiled as she went and hugged the woman that was the closest thing to a mother to her.

"Ok honey…I've already called Liv to let her know you two will be there. By the way, you're sister is wanting to talk to you…"

_Oh shit…Cragen must have called her…damn…_sighing in defeat, Mack avoided Brady's stare. "I take it she's pissed?"

Brady watched closely. She had a feeling something wasn't right with Mackenzie. "You can say that. It would help if I knew…"

Shaking her head, Mackenzie just slipped on her jacket. "Better that you didn't know. Ok…we're off. I'll see you in a couple of hours…we're going to pick up Alex and have some ice cream when we're done. Mind if I take him home a bit early?"

"Not at all. It's about time you finally cut back on work. I've seen Alex more then you have…" Brady stopped as she saw Mack's lips form a thin line. This was a very touchy subject with Mack.

Brady and Olivia knew that Mack hated not having as much time as she used to with Alex. But Mack worked like a mad woman. It was as if she were trying to drive out whatever monster it was inside of her. But Mackenzie would never miss out on any part of Alex's life even if it meant sacrificing sleep. And to a cop, sleep was a must.

Hugging the young Benson, Brady just sighed and watched as Mack and Helen made their way to Mackenzie's car. Brady would always worry about Mack but this time was different. She was more then worried…she was afraid. Mack had been grazing the edge for some time now since returning from her undercover stint.

3 years and Mackenzie still wouldn't talk about it. 3 years for whatever demon that was inside her to eat every last bit of her soul. Brady was afraid that the little girl she once knew would be gone forever. She felt tears starting to form and wiping them away Brady raised her eyes up to the sky.

_Please…help her find her way back to us. Please God; please…_feeling as if there was nothing else she could do, Brady went back inside to make her daily rounds.

The sun had gotten brighter and the trees around the center began to sway even though there wasn't a breeze that morning. Little did Brady know, her quiet prayer was heard.

* * *

The drive to A PLACE CALLED HOME centre was short. They were not even two steps into the building when Mack found Olivia already waiting outside her office. _Forget pissed…she's livid._

Olivia had her hands in her pockets. She glanced at Helen and nodded a hello and gave her a smile. Then Liv swung her gaze over to Mackenzie who felt like a kid caught with a hand in the cookie jar. _If only it were that simple._

Mack mentally prepared for the battle that was ahead. Helen seemed to sense this because she rested a hand on Mackenzie's back.

"So…" Mackenzie began but was interrupted by Helen.

"Hello again. Your wife mentioned that I would be working with you on this project…" As Helen spoke, she had taken a step in front of Mack as if to shield her from what was coming. It didn't go un-noticed by both Benson's but neither said anything.

Years of training had taught Liv when to fight and when to step back. Now was the time to do just that…step back – she knew first hand what a pissed off Scottish woman could do. The thought of her wife mad made Olivia smile a little.

Sliding her hands out of her pockets Liv quickly smooth out the growing tension. "Yeah, she called me about 40 minutes ago. Glad to meet you…again." Olivia held out her hand.

Liv glanced at Mack. She gave her baby sister a look that said 'talk later'. Nodding dejectedly, Mack followed the two women into the office.

Helen laid out what she and her wife planned out and the programs that would be needed and if necessary another facility altogether. Olivia had changed since her time on the force. If you had told her about something like this, she would have laughed in your face and would have told you that there was no chance in hell something like this would work.

Now as she sat listening to the ideas, Olivia found it rewarding. She saw it in the teens she worked with and how much they yearned to be loved and accepted. It was plain and simple but most foster parents never get it – hell…most _parents_ missed it completely.

She looked over at her sister and saw that she too was listening intently. There was something else too…interest maybe? Was it because of what was being said or for _who_ was saying it? _Hmmm…I'll bet my life it's the 'who'…_Olivia thought with a smirk.

Quickly turning back to the matter at hand, Olivia agreed to show Mrs. Stewart around and to show her what programs are set up at the centre.

As the three of them walked down the hall, Olivia explained what activities/programs were going on and what were available. "At the moment we have a course for the older teens to help them get ready for college or get them ready for the work force. Helping them with the whole process – resumes, dressing the part…interviewing skills. That sort of thing…"

"That will defiantly help with the parolees. How do you get the older kids accustomed to the outside world?"

"How do you mean?" Mackenzie, who had been quiet, finally spoke up.

"Well…I mean, how do you socialize the children who've been in the system for the entire lives. I'm not saying that all the children will have problems fitting in but for the ones who do…what sort of steps do you take?" If it were anyone else asking, Mack would have taken offence. But Helen seemed to be genuinely concerned about the welfare of the children and for the female parolees who will be under her care.

Mackenzie and Olivia thought for a moment. Liv was the first to speak up.

"First of all, we treat every one of these kids as unique. Second, we treat them as if they were our own – well…I do anyways. As for the behavioural problems…we deal with it as it comes. No child is the same so their problems aren't either. You have to get down to the crust of the problem before doing anything – once we're there; it's a bit easier to assess the whole picture. It may take awhile, but they're better for it in the long run."

Helen seemed to like the answer to that. Again, she noticed that Mack seemed comfortable here around the younger teens as well as a select few older ones. They stopped several times to chat or say hello to the kids. Many of them were very fond of Mackenzie.

"Hey 5-0!" yelled out a Hispanic boy maybe 15 years old. As he came sauntering by Mack nodded a hello.

"Montoya! How's it going? Staying out of trouble?" Mack had changed her demeanour instantly when she saw the boy coming. Gone was the tough detective only to be replaced by a more relaxed friendlier Mackenzie.

Helen eyed Mack as she and Montoya spoke. Catching Helen staring, Mack cocked her head to the side and smiled. Helen blushed furiously and quickly looked away. Olivia's eyes darted from Mack to Helen. _Maybe there really is something there…_

Snapping out of her musings, Liv heard Mack introduce the young man to Helen.

"This here is Miguel Montoya. Straight A student in all his classes and Special Effects make up artist extraordinaire. This kid is amazing…" Mack spoke with much pride. Miguel came from a tough home life only to be thrown unto the mean streets where, in order to survive, he had to turn to a life of petty crime.

But Mackenzie saw in him a good kid in a messed up situation. She offered him a way out from that life. It took a bit of convincing but Miguel eventually came around. 2 years later he was a straight A student in his school.

Blushing slightly, Miguel just smiled shyly at the statement. "Naw man…I just like grossing people out." The four of them laughed. Mack just patted Miguel's shoulder and rolled her eyes.

"Hello." Helen said gently. She smiled at the young man who was obviously one of Mack's favourite people. She held out her hand and Miguel obediently shook it.

"Miguel Montoya, ma'am…"

"Please…call me Helen." She smiled even brightly as she spoke.

Nodding Miguel turned to Mackenzie once more. "How's the bambino?" Miguel asked. He and Alex had become close…like brothers. Mack had a feeling that Alex was a good influence on Miguel and vice versa.

"He's good…getting bigger. You know you _could_ always visit him. He's been asking about you…"

Shaking his head Miguel spoke sadly," Naw man…I'm not such a good guy to hang out with, ya know?" Mack sighed. She knew it would be awhile before Miguel saw differently.

Nodding Mack put an arm around him and whispered, "He looks up to you, man…that means something good."

Miguel was quiet for a moment. Then shutting his eyes tight to stop the tears from slipping out, the young boy shrugged. "Um…I gotta go finish up some stuff…" Before anyone could say a word, Miguel was on his way down the hall hands stuffed in his pockets.

Looking at Olivia, Mack just stared at her. "He had a bit of a run in with some of his old 'friends' he used to hang with…"

"And you didn't bother telling me?" Mack was a little upset. Helen who was watching the whole thing was by now was somewhat lost.

"Um…"

Both Liv and Mack turned to Helen. Realizing that she had been left out, Mackenzie looked bashful.

"I'm sorry…um…I…" looking slightly embarrassed, Mack leaned forward and whispered in Helen's ear. "I'll tell you on the way to get Alex." Helen shivered but nodded anyways.

Mackenzie looked at her watch. She hated to cut this short but if she and Helen were going to have lunch and get Alex before it got dark, they were going to have to leave soon.

"Uh…Liv, I hate to do this but…" she stopped as her sister held up a hand.

"No problem. Swing by tomorrow and we'll finish up then. It's a pleasure to meet you…again," Olivia smiled at Helen. Shifting over to Mack, Liv engulfed her in a bear hug.

"We're gonna talk later on, got it?" She mumbled in her sister's ear. Feeling Mack nod, Liv let go.

"Good…now get lost. Both of you!" Olivia said playfully as she shoved her sister towards the door. Mack turned and made a face at her sister that won her whack to the head.

Rubbing the back of her head while she laughed Mack mumbled teasingly, "I'm telling!"

Helen, Olivia and Mack all laughed. Waving goodbye, Helen and Mackenzie made their way across the street to the diner.

Olivia watched them as they went. _Brady's right…they're just right for each other…_Wandering back into the centre and into the office, Liv opened up the files that were sent over.

_Might as well get a head start on the whole thing_…she thought. Looking down at her watch, Olivia anxiously counted the minutes before she got to go home to her wife.

* * *

"Where are you taking me?" Helen and Mack fell into step as they made their way through the busy streets of New York. Helen would have fallen over a few times if it weren't for Mack always there to catch her.

Mack was close to shoving those around Helen. _Use your damn eyes, people! _Mackenzie wrapped an arm around Helen and kept her close. Helen didn't seem to mind at all. In fact, Helen had wrapped her own arm around Mack's waist as the walked on.

It was odd but it felt so very natural to be this close to each other. Helen found herself enjoying the feel of Mack's warmth around her. By the time they reached the small diner, both women were pressed closely to each other's sides. To the rest of the world, they looked like a couple in love but in reality, they just didn't want to get knocked over.

At some point their hands found each other.

"Here we are…" Mack said quietly as she ushered Helen in. Once inside, Helen didn't seem too much in a rush to let go of Mackenzie's hand. Both women absentmindedly began playing with the other's fingers as they waited to be seated.

"You eat her often?" Helen asked. Mack was about to answer when a booming voice came from the back of the diner.

"MACKIE! LONG TIME NO SEE!" Helen turned to a small man coming towards them with arms open wide and with a bright big smile.

"I guess I have my answer…" Helen said quietly. Mack smiled at her then turned to face the old man.

"Mr. Russo! How are you?" Mackenzie reached out with her free arm and engulfed the friendly man but not really wanting to let go of Helen's hand. Mr. Russo held Mackenzie at arm's length and examined her from top to bottom.

"Look at you! So big! Why you no come and visit?" He then reached up and grabbed Mack's cheeks and pinched them. Mack glanced at Helen who had to look away but was laughing hard.

"Who is your lady friend?"

"Mr. Russo, this is Helen Stewart. She just flew in from England yesterday…" Mack said as she rubbed her sore cheeks.

Turning slightly to his left, Mr. Russo studied Helen. He noticed their hands still intertwined. _I have a good feeling about this one_…he thought.

With a warm welcoming smile, Mr. Russo held out his arms to Helen. She was slightly taken by surprise but soon enough had an arm around the small man.

Pulling back, Mr. Russo shook Helen's hand. "Hello…Mr. Russo…" Helen said nervously.

"Please, call me Sal. Everybody does. Please…come have a seat…" He led them to a cozy little table. "Ok ladies…what will it be?" Sal asked as he whipped out a note pad and pencil.

"The regular, please. Helen?" Mack watched as Helen mulled over the menu. _Damn…she is adorable…_

"Hmmm…everything looks so good…I think I'll have the regular as well," Helen said with her toothy smile.

Sal's smile could not have gotten any wider. "For you _bella_, anything," he said with a wink. Heading for the kitchen, Sal said in his big voice, "MARIA! I NEED TWO REGULARS!"

* * *

Their meal had arrived. And both ate in silence. Wiping off some remnants of ketchup off her face, Helen leaned back with a satisfied smile.

"This is absolutely ace! I almost forgot what a good old fashioned burger tasted like…"

"I take it you like it?" Mackenzie said as she finished off her last piece of fries. Wiping off her mouth, Mack sat back as she watched Helen. "Think you'll be ready for dessert?"

Playfully wincing, Helen moaned quietly, "give me a few years and I'll be ready…"

Mackenzie laughed quietly. She waited for their table to be cleared before quietly speaking. "Uh…Helen…I think we need to talk…"

"Uh-oh…this sounds serious…"

This was harder then Mack thought. Sighing, she rubbed the back of her neck. Helen looked concerned.

"Is this about what happened this morning?" Nodding, Mack was somewhat relived that Helen had said it first.

"I don't make it a habit of kissing or getting involved with married women…I just don't want it to get awkward between us…

"You think I'm in the practice of kissing strange women, myself?"

"No! That's not what I meant! I just didn't want you to think that _I_ was…look; I just want us to get along, if nothing else. And by that I don't mean…"

"I know what you mean. That's very…noble of you. And as if I recall, it was I that kissed _you_. I should be the one apologizing…" Helen stopped the flow of words when she saw Mackenzie raise her hand.

"Forget about it. So…let's just start over, shall we?" Mack looked utterly adorable sitting across from Helen. She looked so hopeful. Unable to resist, Helen smiled and nodded.

"I like that idea." Holding out her hand, she smiled. "Helen Stewart."

Mack caught on and grinned. Gently grasping Helen's outstretched hand, Mackenzie shook it.

"Mackenzie Benson." There hands stayed clasped for a moment and they both smiled.

Helen had a cheeky smile on her face, "so…you come here often?" Mackenzie laughed out loud and Helen felt ridiculously proud of herself.

"Come on…let's go get Alex before I end up getting into deeper trouble." They stood and waved a goodbye to Sal and stepped out into the mayhem that was New York City.

Mackenzie offered her arm and Helen gladly accepted it with a smile. They began the trek across the street.

"You know it's a bit odd…" Helen said as they neared the other end of the street.

"What is?"

"Most people would have asked to have been friends. You didn't…why?" They finally reached Mack's car. They stood beside the passenger side of the door. Helen turned to face Mackenzie as she leaned against the car. Mack sighed and put her hands into her pockets.

Mack was thoughtful for moment. "Like everything in this world, it needs to be earned. A lot of people…they think deserve everything on a silver platter, including friendship. And that's not the case…"

"So you're saying you'd want to earn my friendship?" Seeing Mack nod, Helen was genuinely curious. "Why?"

Helen saw a slight blush creep up on Mack and she wondered why.

"Well…if I don't earn it, then it won't mean much in the end. Friendship isn't something you can just buy or take from someone unwillingly. You need to earn the person's trust and respect first. Then once you have that, then you can ask if you can have their friendship as well…"

"And if they refuse?"

"Then you just pick yourself up and keep on going. That individual has their reasons for turning down your friendship. You can't force them to want you as a friend. When there ready, they'll find you and if they don't then it's there loss..."

Nodding in understanding, Helen smiled gently. "That was very eloquent, Mackenzie. But I'm sure you won't have a problem with earning my friendship…"

Mack shrugged and joked, "I wouldn't speak so soon, Mrs. Stewart. I have a bad reputation of being a lousy friend…." Although she was smiling, Mack's eyes told a different story. She opened the door for Helen and stepped aside and waited.

Helen didn't move. She stood and stared at the woman before her. She reached up and tenderly placed a hand on Mackenzie's cheek and spoke softly. "From what I've seen so far, you're doing an admirable job."

Feeling as though she were being exposed, Mack looked away. She wasn't used to this kind of attention from anyone. "Um…we'd better get going…" Helen knew that she had put Mackenzie on the spot and although she meant what she said, Helen felt guilty for making the other woman uncomfortable.

Getting in quietly, Helen buckled up and watched as Mack climbed into the driver's side. With out another word Mackenzie started the car.

As they drove the short distance back to Tender Hugs, Helen leaned back in her seat and reached out and laced her fingers with Mack's free hand. She felt Mackenzie tense up slightly then relaxed.

Mack's voice kept playing in Helen's mind…_Friendship isn't something you can just buy or take from someone unwillingly…_Helen glanced over at Mackenzie who was concentrating on the road. _Friendship…maybe that's what we both need…_

* * *


	8. Ben & Jerry's

Sorry for taking so long. My keys on my keyboard at home are all sticky so I had to write this while at work - little by little. Then I was planning a baby shower so I lost track of this story.

Don't own anything.

Enjoy!

* * *

Ben & Jerry's

"Mama…can we go to Ben and Jerry's?" Alex had been bouncing in his booster seat the second he was buckled into it. He was beyond the moon he was getting to hang out with his mama.

"Sure we can little man. Do you know what you want?" Mackenzie glanced into the rear view mirror at her son. _He's all over the place_…Mack thought as she slowed down for a red light.

Nodding vigorously, his little head looked like it would have fallen off. Helen laughed at the bundle of energy strapped into the back seat. _Wonder what would happen when we unbuckle him? _Images of Alex shooting out of his seat like a rocket the moment his belt was off caused Helen to giggle.

"What's that about?" Mack asked as she laughed along with Helen. Although not all the awkwardness had completely disappeared, the two women were much more relaxed around each other then this morning.

"I'll tell you later…" Helen said with a smile. Eyeing her suspiciously, Mack nodded.

"Mama, can I get Phish food?"

"Oh my…what on earth is 'phish food'?" Helen looked over her seat to look at Alex.

"It's an ice cream flavour. It's absolutely the weirdest thing…" Mack had one hand on the wheel and the other was resting on the armrest. Helen rested her hand on top of Mackenzie's and this time she didn't tense up or pull away. She actually turned her hand over and laced her fingers with Helen's.

Alex looked back from his mama to Helen and smiled to himself.

"Dare I ask what's in phish food?" Helen asked looking slightly worried. Mack laughed but gave her hand a reassuring squeeze.

"Chocolate ice cream with gooey marshmallow, and caramel swirl & fudge fish," Mackenzie stated with a small nod. She had to laugh at the expression on Helen's face.

"Oh dear Lord! Do I want to know what 'fudge fish' is?"

Shaking her head and whispering, "not really." Helen covered her mouth to keep from laughing out loud. Mackenzie and Alex both laughed.

Alex was the first to see the Ben & Jerry's up ahead. He began to undo his seat belt without much success. He scrunched up his face and began to whimper.

"_Alexander_…" Mackenzie said warningly. The little boy just whimpered some more. Helen turned in her seat and gently spoke.

"Young man, I know you can do better then that…" She had a loving smile on her face and Alex huffed and sat back in his seat and pouted.

"Can I sit in the front then?" Alex asked.

"Bud, Helen's sitting in the front…"

"Pull over…" Helen said quietly.

"What?" Mack just stared as if Helen had gone mad.

"Pull over…" Mackenzie did as she was told and turned the engine off. She watched as Helen unbuckled her own seat belt and twisted in her seat. She watched as Alex did his best to undo his own belt.

Seeing the boy get frustrated, Helen reached out and lightly touched his leg. "You can do, love. That's it…push with all your might…There you go! You've done it!" Smiling brightly, Helen held her arms out and Alex slid from his seat and climbed over the armrest and into Helen's waiting arms.

She hugged the boy tightly. "I knew you could do it…" and kissed the top of Alex's head. "Now…you sit up nice and straight in my lap. Want to help me with my seatbelt?" Helen reached over and slid the buckle to Alex. With the gently guidance of Helen, Alex got it in two tries.

"Comfortable?" Seeing Alex nod, Helen wrapped an arm around him for added support. Leaning down, Helen whispered, "Would you like to say something to mummy?"

Turning, Alex gave his mama a toothy grin. "I love you mommy…" he said sweetly. Helen laughed then gave him a little squeeze.

"That's not what I was thinkin wee one!"

Alex looked up at Helen and smiled, "I know." Helen glanced at Mackenzie who was shaking her head in amusement. Mack smiled at Helen who reached out and held her hand again.

Mack started the car and drove the short distance to Ben & Jerry's. "Hold on…I'll get your door…" As they waited, Helen and Alex spoke quietly.

"Alright you little monkey! Get on outta there!" Alex jumped out of the car and bounced around excitedly as he waited for Helen. Mack held out her hand for Helen who took it with a smile.

"Ready?" Mackenzie's smile widen as she watched her son get very animated as they walked into the store. She took hold of Helen's hand and they followed Alex in line.

"I have a bit of a confession…" Helen started. Two sets of eyes were trained on her.

"I'm allergic to chocolate." Helen smiled at the expression on Alex's face. Mack's eyes widened in surprise and worry.

"You're allergic to chocolate!" Alex couldn't wrap his adorable little mind around that fact. Nodding, Helen just gave him an apologetic smile.

Mack on the other hand was concerned. "Maybe we should go…"

Shaking her head, Helen wasn't going anywhere. "I'm alright. No need to get worried. Besides, Alex has been waiting for this _all_ day. Look at him…"

Helen was right. Alex was literally twitching and it would disappoint him if they had to leave. "Alright…but if they don't have anything in here for you, we'll go some place else."

Helen shrugged. She looked at the menu above and just couldn't decide. It was their turn to order when Helen lifted Alex up and asked, "Hmmm…what do you think I should order young man?"

Alex thought for a moment. Putting a finger on the side of his cheek, he scrunched up his face.

"Hmmm…how about that one?" Alex pointed to the sorbet menu. Helen smiled.

"Perfect! May I get the Strawberry Kiwi sorbet, please?" Helen continued to hold onto Alex as they waited for Mack to place her order.

Mack followed the both of them out to the patio with their treats. Once seated, Mackenzie handed her son his Phish Food then tucked a napkin under his chin.

"Like that ever helps," she said dryly. Alex just smiled and dug into his ice cream. Sitting back down, Mackenzie just watched her son attempt to wolf down the dessert that was half his size.

"You might wanna slow down, partner." Then turning to Helen who had also was watching in amusement asked, "is everything ok with yours?" Nodding Helen took a spoon full of her sorbet and moaned out loud.

"This is heaven. Thank you Alex for picking it out for me," Helen was getting ready for her second scoop when she caught Mack watching her with a smirk on her face. "What?"

Reaching out, Mack's thumb brushed the side of Helen's lip then brought it to her own lips and licked it off. "Not bad…a little too fruity for me though…"

Helen blushed and nudged Mackenzie with her shoulder, "I wouldn't talk if I were you. You're the one eating a heart attack!" Helen pointedly looked at Mack's huge banana split.

"Me! How about this one over here?" Mack laughed and jerked her head at Alex who had been oblivious to both women. He looked up innocently and had ice cream all over his face. Helen and Mackenzie looked at him and laughed at how adorable he was.

"Hey Bud…you sure you're eating it all?" Alex's mouth wasn't the only thing covered in gooey marshmallow. The entire front of his shirt was sticky with the sticky concoction. Nodding, Alex proceeded to take a bite out of is cone, which looked like it was about to fall apart at any moment.

Mackenzie and Helen both reached out at the same time to wipe off his mouth. They stopped and stared at each other then laughed at the silliness.

"You take his face and I'll deal with his shirt…"

"Yes ma'am!" Mackenzie saluted Helen then took hold of Alex's chin and did her best to wipe off as much marshmallow as she could. Shaking her head at the results she was getting, Mack looked at Helen, "How you making out?"

Helen was biting her lower lip in concentration. She was having trouble with a stubborn stain. After a minute she gave up with a sigh. "Nope…not having much luck either. Looks like you had better luck then I did though."

"Yeah…I try…" Mackenzie said with a smirk. Helen lightly punched her arm. "OW! Why's everyone beating me up?" For the second time that day, Mack rubbed her sore arm.

"That hurt you! You're the one with the arms of steel!" Helen laughed as she watched Mack give her a pout. "Oh _please_…like that really works…"

"We'll that depends…is it working?" Mackenzie couldn't help but chuckle when Helen gave her an exasperated look.

Alex who had been watching the whole thing was smiling from ear to ear. He didn't realize that his cone was now too soft to hold what was left of his ice cream and was now dripping all over his shorts.

Looking down at the mess, Alex tapped his mama's thigh. "Mama…" Mack turned and saw what her son was pointing at.

"Oh boy…you want to finish that Bud?" Shaking his head, Alex handed his soggy cone to his mom who just shook her head and placed it on the table. Picking up Alex, Mack placed him on her lap and patted dry the area where the ice cream had soaked his khaki shorts.

"So…what's next, Bud?" Mackenzie ruffled her son's hair and kissed his forehead. _God…I hope he never gets to old to hang out with me…_

"Can we go to the park?" He looked up with such innocent eyes that it was hard to say 'no' to him. Hell! He could have asked to join the circus and Mack would have said yes. Smiling, Mackenzie looked over the top of Alex's head and locked eyes with Helen.

"You don't mind if I let this one loose in the park?"

"Not at all. I'm sure he needs to burn off all that sugar he's just ingested." Helen said with a smile. Agreeing that they were all full and finished with their desserts, they headed for the park that was just down the road.

Mack and Helen settled down on the park bench while they watched Alex charge for the slide. They both laughed out loud as they watched him triumphantly wave at them then slid down the long slide.

Helen sat closely to Mackenzie as she crossed her leg over the other. Her foot made contact with Mack's leg but they didn't seem to notice. Mack just rested her hand on Helen's knee.

"Look at him go…" Helen said as she laughed to herself. She thoroughly enjoyed being around the young boy.

They sat there silently for a while enjoying the other's quiet company. They smiled at Alex's antics and laughed as he and a few other children played a game of tag. It was as if fate was showing these two strangers what could be. Of course, they were clueless to all of it.

"Mackenzie…can I ask you something?" Helen asked cautiously. She wasn't sure if she had the right to ask.

"You know…you can call me Mack. No one really calls me by my full name unless I'm in trouble." She said with a small laugh.

Helen seemed to ponder this. She scrunched up her nose and said, "Doesn't sound right coming from me…"

"Pardon me?" Mackenzie looked startled. _What the hell is she talking about? _

"Can you honestly see me calling you Mack?"

"_Ok_…you've really lost me – what are you talking about?" Mackenzie was confused but had a small smile on her face.

Smiling gently at the expression on Mack's face, Helen gently explained. "Although your name is beautiful as is, I just can't call you 'Mack'. It feels…to familiar, I guess…like everyone has already used up all it's magic…"

Scratching her head, Mack looked even more confused. "So…you're not going to call me 'Mack' because everyone else does?" Seeing Helen nod Mackenzie threw her head back and let out a big belly laugh.

"You think I'm completely mad, don't you?" Helen said with a hint of a smile on her face.

"No! Not at all. You're…uh…that's rather…cute actually." Mackenzie's laughter died down and she cleared her throat. Sitting up slightly, Mack turned to fully face Helen. "So…what do you suggest I change my name to?"

"You're not just saying that to humour me, are you?" Helen had a bit of a pout. Mackenzie looked away quickly. She had the strongest urge to kiss her. _And by doing that, you ruin any chance at a friendship…_she thought sarcastically.

Getting her bearings under control, Mack once again, faced Helen. She took Mack's face in her hands and studied her. As if a light bulb went off, she snapped her fingers.

"_Yankee_…that's what I'll call you…" Helen was completely serious.

"Excuse me? What are you going to call me?"

"Yankee…" Helen said as she settled back next to Mack. Helen was so serious.

"_Yankee_? Really?" Mackenzie was desperately beating back the laugh that wanted to break free. Pressing her lips together to keep the sound from escaping, Mack turned her attention to her son who was chasing after a young girl and both were having a ball.

Then an idea came to Mack. She smirked as she rested her right ankle over her left thigh. "So what do I get to call you?"

Helen suspiciously eyed Mack. "Helen is fine. Thank you very much," she said as she crossed her arms and watched Alex.

Mackenzie's smirk became a full-blown smile. "Now Miss Stewart, I don't think that's a fair trade, don't you?"

Helen huffed, "honestly Mackenzie. Is this necessary?" Mack's smile got extremely wide as she saw the lovely Scot begin to squirm.

"I have the perfect name for you Miss Stewart…"

Glancing over at her, Helen just arched a fine eyebrow. "Oh _really_?" She leaned back slightly and dared her to do it.

Shrugging, Mackenzie stretched her arms out on the back of the bench. "Yup…it just right for you…"

"_Do tell_…" Helen drawled sarcastically.

"Now, now Helen…patience…HEY!" Before Mackenzie could react, Helen reached out and made an attempt to tickle Mack in the ribs. Mackenzie defended herself by making a jab at Helen but was left open for another attack.

Laughing, Mack shot up off of the bench and braced herself. Helen jumped up, laughing as well. She jabbed at Mack trying to get a good shot at her all the while trying to dodge Mackenzie's hands.

"Hey! Get back here you!" Mack yelped, as she tried to sidestep Helen's quick hands. Grabbing her wrists, Mack held Helen's hands in place, which were tickling her ribs.

Unable to stop her, Mackenzie growled low and pulled Helen to her and wrapped her arms around her. Breathing heavily, both women's laughter died as soon as their bodies touched.

They stood there, staring at each other.

Helen's hands were moving to Mack's shoulders as she unconsciously pressed herself closer. Closing her eyes as sensation after sensation shot through her, Mack rested her head against Helen's.

Helen began to massage Mack's shoulder muscles and felt them flex under her touch. Mack clenched her jaw – she loved the feel of Helen's hands on her. She pressed herself more closely to Helen.

Mack had moved her head so that her lips were close to Helen's but she made no attempt at making a move. Her hands flexed as she held onto Helen's waist and very gently, Mack pulled away. Almost immediately, her body violently protested at the loss of warmth.

Helen whimpered softly and Mackenzie quickly wrapped her arms around her again. Helen rested her head on Mack's shoulder and buried her face in the crook of her neck. Helen's warm breath was making it difficult to think clearly.

Wincing as if in pain, Mack quietly spoke, "Helen…we really need to stop doing this to ourselves…"

"I know…" Helen said in a small broken voice that tore at Mack. She held tightly onto Helen and kissed the top of her head.

"We have to end this now, Helen…we can't…your wife…" Mack whispered painfully. "I promise this won't happen again. I give you my word…" With that she let Helen go and took a step back.

Helen didn't get a chance to say a word. She watched as Mackenzie turned slightly away and watched her son. "We better be getting back…" she heard her say. Nodding, Helen stood quietly as Mack called for Alex.

As soon as he was close enough he launched himself into his mama's arms. Immediately, he knew something was wrong. The smiles and the laughter were missing from his mama's eyes and Helen was very quiet.

Not wanting to add to whatever it was that happened, Alex obediently sat in his seat as they drove quietly home. A few minutes passed and Alex felt himself drift off to sleep.

* * *

Silence filled the car once more. Alex had fallen asleep almost right away. Helen was picking at imaginary lint and Mack…well, Mack was trying her best to concentrate on the road and not on the woman sitting next to her.

But every breath, every small movement from Helen made Mackenzie fully aware of her hunger for the beautiful Scot. And as every second passed, that hunger grew ten fold.

Clearing her throat, Mackenzie broke the silence. "What was it you wanted to ask me back at the park?" She didn't dare look at Helen. She just needed to distance herself from all this.

"Oh…I…nothing really…" Helen stammered.

"Helen…" Mackenzie said tiredly. With one hand on the wheel, Mack reached up and wiped a hand over her tired face. The day was getting to long.

"Alright, alright…I was going to ask about you and _that _Jefferies woman. But it's alright…you don't have to answer it if you don't…" Helen stopped as she heard a tired sigh from Mack.

"Ace, be quiet for two seconds so I can I answer…" Slightly started by the tone Mackenzie used, Helen kept quiet. "Sorry…I'm just really tired…you wanted to know how I know Jefferies?" Seeing Helen nod, Mack took a deep calming breath.

"It was just when I first started at SVU. I had just gotten back from…ummm…uh…an 8-month assignment and I wasn't in a right frame of mind when 'it' happened…."

"And by _'it'_ you mean the meaningless sex?" She hadn't meant it to sound so harsh or so accusatory but Helen just couldn't see Mackenzie doing such a thing. And that made her feel…hurt, betrayed and yes, jealous. Although she had no right to feel that way about Mack.

Helen heard the sharp intake of breath from Mackenzie. "I'm sorry…that came out all wrong."

"No, that's alright. I suppose I do deserve that much…" Helen felt guilty for her assumption – Mack sounded hurt – although Helen knew Mack wasn't one to admit it.

"Everyone at the station kept harassing me about her crush on me when I came back…I just…I just played it off like it was nothing…"

"Then what happened?"

Mackenzie regretted starting this. She didn't want Helen to know how much of an unfeeling brute she really was. Mack didn't want to risk losing what little left of a friendship she had with Helen – granted, not being able to keep her hands off of Helen didn't help much.

"Mackenzie?" She said softly. She was staring at Mack with such tender eyes that Mack just couldn't stop herself.

"I wasn't in such a good state of mind when I bumped into her that day. She new I wasn't adjusting to being back…she offered to buy me a drink after work – so I agreed. I shouldn't have…it was the worst mistake I've ever made. Never should have happened…_never_…" Mack said it with such disgust that Helen was slightly taken aback.

They had been sitting in front of their building for the past 15 minutes but neither one wanted to end the conversation. Mackenzie was staring down at her hands with such disgrace etched into her face that Helen wanted to reach out. But she held back knowing that any thing resembling pity would just push Mackenzie away for good.

"She took me to O'Mallery's – it's the local police pub. We drank for hours…I don't really remember what happened…I can't even remember how we made it to her place…I think it was her place…I just wanted to stop feeling..." Mack closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose.

"I just remember parts of the…things we did…" Mackenzie was afraid to look at Helen so she just stared out the window. Never in her life did she ever get that drunk before. It was defiantly the last. She felt so disgusted with herself.

"So she thinks it's more then that one night?" Helen asked neutrally. Nodding, Mack still wouldn't look at Helen.

Then Helen asked the one question Mackenzie didn't want to answer. "What happened in those eight months? Where were you?"

She saw Mack pale considerably. She thought Mack was going to pass out. Reaching out Helen held onto Mack's arm.

"Hey Yankee…you alright?" She asked softly.

Shutting her tight and taking huge deep breaths, Mackenzie nodded. "Please don't ask me about that…please…I can't…I just…"

Helen heard the broken plea and it scared her. "Alright…I promise. Let's just get you back inside…come on now…" She spoke gently as if she were speaking to a frightened child. As Helen got out of the car she carefully kept a close watch on Mack who was making her way to the back seat.

Mackenzie just held on to a sleeping Alex as they made their way up to their loft. Helen took the key from Mack and opened up the door. She followed the two into Mack's loft and waited in the living room.

Ten minutes later, Mackenzie emerged from Alex's room. She looked beat up and Helen's heart went out to her.

"You're still here?" Mackenzie was surprised to see Helen still waiting.

"Mackenzie…we really do need to talk. I mean _really_ talk."

"I know." Gesturing to the sofa, Helen took a seat on one end of it while Mack sat at the opposite end.

"So…where do we start?" Helen shrugged. This was a lot more difficult then she imagined. She didn't have this much trouble with Nikki when they first met.

Helen was quiet. "You confuse me…"

"I do?" Mackenzie was genuinely thrown. _Didn't she see what she was doing to me?_ Helen thought.

Nodding, Helen did her best to articulate those feelings properly. "You do. I shouldn't feel the way I do about you, but I do…I can't stop it."

"Because your married." Mackenzie said more like a statement rather then a question.

"No…yes…well, not really…"

"Which is it?" Mackenzie said with a gentle smile. Helen felt herself relax a bit.

"To be honest…it's not about that. Well…not anymore…"

Confused, Mack scratched her head. "I'm not really sure what you're trying to…"

"I'm a widow."

Slowly, realization hit Mackenzie like a truck. "Oh…I'm…I didn't know…I'm sorry…"

Shaking her head Helen gave her a sad smile.

"How did she…"

"About a month ago…cancer…" Tears formed in Helen's eyes. She looked away but she wasn't fast enough. Mackenzie slid over and wrapped Helen up in her arms. This time, there was nothing sexual about the embrace. Mackenzie wanted to give her nothing but comfort.

Holding her closely, Mack softly spoke. "I understand now…" Helen nodded against Mack's chest. She curled her legs under her and snuggled closer to Mackenzie.

Mack leaned back and stretched out her legs on the coffee table. She gently caressed Helen's arm and whispered, "So…how did you two meet?"

Helen sighed. The sound made Mack tighten her hold on the shorter woman. Helen smiled a little at the protectiveness Mack was showing.

"We met in prison…"

"Whoa! Wait a second…where did you meet?" Mack didn't loosen her hold but leaned back slightly to see if Helen was joking. Helen laughed a little at the expression on Mackenzie's face.

"Prison…and before you go making any assumptions, _I _was Wing Governor 1st grade." Helen said proudly.

"Wow…but aren't you a bit young to be a Wing Governor?"

Helen raised her head and arched a delicate eyebrow. "Is that your subtle way of asking how old I am?"

Eyes widening Mack blushed and stuttered, "What? No, no, no…that's not what I…I, I didn't mean it like-"

Laughing at the way looked, Helen found it endearing. Placing a soft finger on Mack's lips, Helen gently smiled at her, "I know." She moved her hand to cup the side of Mackenzie's face. Her thumb lightly caressed Mack's low lip.

Swallowing and not daring to move, Mackenzie closed her eyes at the wonderful feeling Helen was creating. Leaning in slightly into her hand, she felt Helen rest her forehead on the side of her face.

"I'm 35" Helen whispered softly. With eyes still closed, Mack nodded. Her own hand found Helens and she covered it with her own. They sat like that for what seemed like a lifetime.

Sighing, Mack turned her head. Their foreheads rested on the others. With one arm still wrapped around Helen, Mack lifted a loving hand and cupped Helen's face.

"Helen…you probably figured out how I feel about you. I am _very_ attracted to you…but it goes deeper then that…and I'm scared of how I feel…I just met you yesterday and I…I…you…" closing her eyes at her inability to express how she felt, Mack sighed in frustration.

Taking a breath to calm her nerves, Mackenzie tried once more. "Helen…I've never felt like this about anyone. It terrifies me to feel this much. But I promise that nothing…and I mean absolutely _nothing_ will happen until you say other wise." She didn't realize it, but she had been crying as she spoke.

Helen was deeply moved by this show of raw emotion from the quiet detective. Wiping the tears away, Helen leaned down and lightly kissed Mackenzie's closed eyelids. "Thank you…" She said softly.

"Take as long as you need to figure out how you feel. No pressure but in the mean time…"

"In the mean time we work on our friendship…"

Mackenzie opened up her eyes and smiled lovingly at Helen and nodded. Mackenzie re-adjusted her self so she was now lying across the sofa with Helen draped over her. Helen rested her head on Mack's chest. She could hear her strong heart and Helen found comfort in that.

As sleep crept up on them, Helen tiredly asked, "What happens on Friday's?"

A sleepy grin formed over Mack's tired features. "Super Karaoke…"

Grinning herself, Helen snuggled deeper in Mackenzie's embrace. Then one last thought popped into her sleepy mind.

"Ace…I like it…"

"Hmmm?" Mackenzie was falling deeper into sleep.

"You called me Ace, Yankee…"

"Oh…thought you'd like it…" she said drowsily. Nodding against her chest, Helen sighed and finally let sleep over take her. Mackenzie soon followed Helen into slumber.

* * *


	9. Closer I Get To You

Ok...I'm a little late with the updates. I'm working on it...sorry. I'm also in the process of writing another story for SVU. But I'll deal with that as it comes.

Anyways, I'm back. This chapter is the longest (to date) I've written so far. Every time I thought I could finally end the darn thing, something else had to be added.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

* * *

Closer I Get To You…

Morning light crept through the blinds leaving a warm trail of sunlight. It fell upon the sleeping women who rested on the sofa, content and at peace. Their arms were wrapped tightly around each other and there legs were a tangled mess.

They were in no hurry to wake up from their quiet slumber. Inhaling deeply, Mackenzie's head rested on top of Helen's who was now lying completely on top of her. Helen snuggled closer as Mack's hands lightly caressed her back.

Both women were barely awake when Alex padded out from his room. His face was still a mess from yesterday's ice cream, but he was in his favourite pj's - Batman. Hair sticking up at all ends; Alex glanced over the armrest of the sofa. He rubbed his eyes and smiled brightly at what he saw.

He remembered Aunt Ollie and Aunt Brady doing the same thing some time ago. They had fallen asleep on the couch after watching Harry Potter for the sixth time that particular night. Alex wondered if his mama and Helen would be like Aunt Ollie and Aunt Brady.

The thought of his mama and Helen cuddling and kissing like Aunt Ollie and Aunt Brady made him giggle. He quickly covered his mouth so as not to wake the adults. He turned and tiptoed to the kitchen. He was hungry for some French toast but no one was awake to make them.

_Hmmm…they weren't that hard to make when Ms. Stewart showed me_…

He opened the fridge and got out eggs, milk and bread and laid them on the floor. He then got the step stool his mama tried to hide from him and placed it by the kitchen table. Then one by one, he brought the three ingredients to the table.

_Darn…I'm not supposed to go near the stove by myself..._then an idea came to him. Quickly moving to the front door, Alex did his best to not make a sound. He slipped out of the loft and ran for the other end of the hall…

* * *

The smell of French toast and the feel of hands running under her shirt partially woke Mack. Her eyes were still closed and she turned so the wandering hands could have more access. Helen just nuzzled her nose in the crook of Mack's neck, her hands still exploring.

Sighing contentedly, Helen loved the feel of Mack's abdomen muscles. She moaned softly and unconsciously slipped her thigh in between Mack's legs and rubbed gently and Mack sighed softly.

At first Mackenzie thought she was having the wildest fantasies ever – Helen at home in nothing but an apron making French toast…_wait…French toast? What the hell?_

Slowly, Mack rubbed her eyes. She squinted at the light then shut her eyes again. Running a hand over her face, Mackenzie blinked away the sleep in her eyes. _Olivia? Why is she…_eyes snapped open.

"SHIT! FU…OLIVIA!" Sitting straight up, Mack nearly knocked over Helen. The other woman was now fully awake and desperately trying to hide behind Mack. She leaned over and shielded Helen from Olivia and Brady's prying eyes.

"What the _hell_ are you guys doing here?" Mack said roughly breathing heavily. She felt Helen's hands on her shoulders, squeezing gently. Mack ran a hand through her hair and frantically calmed her shot nerves.

"We were making breakfast…" Brady answered gently but was rudely cut off by her wife.

"But apparently we're chaperones as well." Olivia was pissed. She stood in between the kitchen and the living room with her arms crossed.

"_Olivia_…" Brady said warningly. Throwing her hands in the air, Liv stormed back to the kitchen to where her wife was. Brady just gave her the 'look'.

"Where's Alex?" Concern and worry were etched on Helen's face as she spoke.

"He's at our place taking a shower." Brady replied. She smiled gently at Helen who was red with embarrassment.

Mack felt Helen start to get up. "I better go…" Helen said softly as she fixed her top. Mack just nodded.

"I'll walk you out…" they turned to go.

"Please stay…there's enough here…" Brady invited but Helen just shook her head.

"Thank you, but I really need to get going. I've got a few things I need to finish up…"

Mackenzie took Helen's hand and led her out into the hall. They stood in front of Helen's door.

"I'm so sorry about that…I had no idea…" Mackenzie spoke softly. She held Helen's hands as the stood face to face. Helen leaned forward and rested her head on Mack's chest.

"That's alright. You're not going to get in any kind of trouble are you?" Smiling to herself, Mack was touched by that.

"Don't you worry about me, Ace. I'm a big girl…" Mack winked and leaned in to kiss Helen's forehead. Nodding, Helen reached for her keys and turned to open her door. Mack waited patiently as she slid her arms around the shorter woman's waist and rested her chin in the crook of Helen's neck.

Once the door was opened, Helen turned in Mack's arms and wrapped her arms around her. Sighing contentedly, Helen buried her face in Mack's chest.

"What was that?" Mackenzie laughed quietly as Helen spoke into her chest.

"I said thank you for last night…" Helen had lifted her head and rested her chin on Mack's chest as she looked up at her. Looking down at her, Mack was still amazed at how much she felt for this woman.

Smiling Mack rubbed her nose with Helen's; which got a giggle from the other woman. "It was my pleasure. I better let you go…what are your plans for the day?" She asked as she let go of Helen. Mack leaned against the doorframe and stuck her hands into her pockets.

"Nothing, really. I'm just waiting for the files to be delivered." Wanting to touch her, Helen reached out and picked off imaginary lint then smoothed out the spot. Smiling, Mackenzie placed her hand over Helen's and stopped her nervous jitters.

"Give me a call when they come. I'll help with narrowing down the candidates…"

Nodding, Helen bit her lower lip. On impulse, Helen reached up and kissed Mack on the lips. Slightly surprised, Mackenzie stood still and closed her eyes. As Helen pulled away, Mack's eyes were still closed but she leaned in and recaptured Helen's lips. This time both women were ready.

It was slow and sweet. It was a promise of more to come. As they pulled away slightly, they opened their eyes and smiled.

"I'm gonna go now…" Mackenzie spoke quietly. Helen had a hint of a smile on her face as she reached up and touched her lips with her fingers.

"I'll see you in a few hours." Mack straightened herself up and backed away slowly. Helen watched as she made her way back to her loft.

Turning, Mack walked back to Helen. "Are you free Friday?"

Looking slightly started, Helen thought for moment then smiled as she realized what it was. "Super Karaoke?"

Laughing nervously, Mack nodded. "I'd love to…but be prepared to get your ear drums destroyed."

"It can't be that bad as Charlie's…"

"I guess you'll have to wait and see, then." _I'm flirting with her! Oh my goodness…and I'm enjoying it! _

"I can't wait. Ok…I'm going now," Mack said with a laugh. Again she made her way back to her door. Waving a goodbye, the both slide their door closed.

* * *

Feeling herself being grabbed by the scruff of the neck the moment the door shut, Mack braced herself for the worst.

"Care to explain why your nine year old came knocking at our door at 8:15 in the morning!" Olivia demanded.

"_Olivia!_ " Brady said sharply. She had her hands on her hips, as she stood close by.

Jerking away from her sister, Mack looked down at her feet and shoved her hands into her back pockets.

"Look, I don't get why Alex didn't just wake me up. He always wakes me up…I just don't understand…"

"Maybe it's because you were wrapped around _Mrs_. Stewart pretty tightly." Olivia shot. Head snapping up, Mackenzie gave her sister a shove. Liv could call her whatever name in the book, but she had no business talking about Helen that way.

"THAT'S NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS!" Mackenzie jabbed a finger at Olivia.

"IT IS MY BUSINESS WHEN YOUR _SON_ COMES KNOCKING AT OUR DOOR FIRST THING IN THE MORNING!"

"THAT'S ENOUGH! BOTH OF YOU! NOW! I MEAN IT LIV!" Brady got in between both women and pushed them back.

Mackenzie just gave her sister a smug look. "Don't think you're off the hook either, young lady!" Brady said sternly. "If you don't mind Liv, take this to Alex…don't argue with me unless you want to be sleeping out in the hall way."

Olivia's jaw clenched and unclenched. Without looking, Liv took the plate that her wife held. She turned to leave when Brady grabbed her arm and spun her back. She reached up and placed a quick kiss on Liv's lips.

Olivia visibly relaxed and just sighed rolled her eyes as she shook her head. Brady smiled as she heard Liv mumbling to herself as she left. Turning back to Mackenzie, Brady crossed her arms and waited expectantly.

Feeling guilty about the outburst and being caught in a compromising position with Helen, Mackenzie just looked down at her feet. Brady always had a way of making Mack feel like a five year old.

"Mackenzie…" Brady said quietly. She never had to raise her voice with Mack and she wasn't about to start now. She watched as Mack squirmed under her stare.

"I know it's none of our business what you do with your personal life. That's fine with me, but you have to remember, anyone you decide to have a relationship with, be it personally or professionally, it will affect your son. _That_ makes it our business…" Brady spoke gently.

She watched as Mackenzie soaked this all in. Mackenzie lowered her head and nodded. "Alex has become very fond of Helen. He talks about her all the time. I'm just worried that if you two do get involved, it'll hurt Alex more then it will hurt the two of you when you have to end it."

"Are you asking me not to see her?" Mackenzie looked up at Brady with sad eyes. If she said yes, Mackenzie would do it – cut herself off from Helen. No matter the cost to her self.

Brady reached out and cupped Mack's face in both of her hands. "No I'm not. I'm asking you to be very careful here. It's not just your feelings you need to consider – there's Alex. _And _Helen. Really think about this…think it through."

"I _have _been thinking about it! Since I met her, I've done nothing but _think_ about," Mackenzie lashed out frustrated with herself. Closing her eyes, Mack pinched the bridge of her nose. "I'm sorry…" Mack said, completely drained.

Brady heard the frustration and the tears in her daughter's voice. Putting an arm around her shoulders, Brady led them to the couch. Mack look so defeated that it broke Brady's heart.

"So…how _do_ you feel about her?" Brady gently asked. It really didn't surprise her that Mackenzie would have fallen for a woman like Helen. She was exactly what Mack and Alex needed. And despite the rough edges around Mack's personality, she is exactly what Helen needs.

Mackenzie was quiet. Running her hands through her hair, she let out a sigh. "I…I don't even know. I'm so confused…I want her, that's for sure…"

"But…"

"But, I want her more then just…sex. God! I feel weird talking to you about this…" Mack said slightly embarrassed. Brady just laughed as she ruffled Mackenzie's hair.

"You're telling me!" Mack laughed at Brady's declaration.

"I mean…it goes deeper then that. I can't explain it…I met her less then two day's ago and I just feel…I feel…damn it! I don't know!" Mack rubbed the back of her neck. She never felt so twisted inside about anyone in her life.

Brady watched her carefully. Yes there was something much more deeper then your run of the mill attraction. It was more then just 'love at first sight'. It went beyond that – there was a connection.

"You feel a lot for her, don't you?" Brady lovingly asked. Mackenzie just nodded. Smiling to her self, Brady gave Mack's shoulder a squeeze. "You know, when I first met you're sister…"

Mack sunk lower into the sofa and made a face. "Ewww…."

Giving Mack a swat to the shoulder, Brady laughed. "Hush…when I met Liv…that very first moment I laid eyes on her…I felt like a had been kicked in the gut. My heart…" at a loss of words, Brady just shook her head.

"I never felt that way. It was like I had known her but I didn't…sort of like an invisible string attached to our hearts…" There was a ghost of a smile on Brady's face. She then looked at Mack and took her chin in her hand.

"I want you to be careful, understand? Take it slow. You deserve to be just as happy as Olivia and I are. There's no reason why this can't work out between the two of you…" Brady was serious as she spoke.

"We'll go slow…"

"Good girl. You come and talk to me…about anything. Got it? If you're confused about anything…you talk to me. Promise?"

Smiling, Mack nodded. She felt like she was 8 years old again. "Promise."

"Good…now you go shower and come over for some breakfast." With a kiss on the forehead, Brady got up and let herself out.

Mackenzie just sat there. All this was so new to her and she wasn't sure how she was supposed to act. Then there was the also the fact that Helen was a recent widow. She didn't want to push or pressure Helen but every time she got near the other woman, all she wanted to do was hold her and kiss her senseless among other things.

"She's going to be the death of me," Mack mumbled to her self. Sighing, she got up and headed for her room while stripping her cloths off and tossing them into the hamper. She stood under the hot spray of water and let it fall over her.

_This is going to be a long year_…

* * *

Breakfast at the Benson's was always the noisiest event there was. Heck, any meal with the entire Benson clan was loud. Five kids and three adults and all things you think can't happen, happen. But Mackenzie loved the craziness of her family. It made her feel alive.

As the dishes were now being put away and with the kids getting ready for their day, Mack sat back and watched as everyone around her did his or her thing.

"Mind if I join you?"

Mack looked up to see her sister standing there. With a nod Olivia sat down next to her. Both were quiet.

"I'm sorry. I know I had no right to say that about Helen and you."

Mack just glanced over at her sister. "It's ok…just don't make it a habit," she with a small smile.

"I just worry about you…"

"You don't have to. I can take care of myself, Liv."

"I know…but I am your sister so I am entitled to worry a little bit." Mack chuckled at that.

"Ok, ok…I'll give you that."

"Whatever is going on between you two…"

"We just fell asleep on the couch. We talked for awhile and we just dozed off that's it."

"It really didn't look that way from where…" Olivia said slowly. She didn't want to start anything again.

"Look…I don't know what to say to convince you that nothing is going on…"

Olivia held up her hands. "I didn't mean for it to come out like that…I trust your judgement, ok?"

Sighing, Mack just watched as Charlie ran back upstairs with her sister trailing behind her. Odd, in some ways she felt that way with Olivia – always trailing behind. There would always be a shadow over her. _Olivia did this; Olivia did that…_Mack thought somewhat bitterly.

"If you're wondering if I've slept with her, you can rest assured that I haven't."

"I'm sorry…" Olivia tried again.

"We've already had this conversation." Both women sat silently not knowing what else to say. The two sisters' have grown apart over the last year and it hurt them both.

"Cragen called me." Olivia didn't have to say why. "What's going on? Suspension? How long?" Liv was concerned for her sister. She _knew_ her sister all to well…she _was_ her when she was on the force.

"They want me to drop the case."

"Did they give you reason too?" Although she had been off the force for 3 years, Liv couldn't help but still think like a cop. _Once a cop, always a cop…_she thought.

"No…not the real reasons anyways. They give me cop out's instead. Truck loads of BS."

"So you're still going to see it through? Against Cragen's orders?"

"I just can't drop it. The murder's are not similar…they're _identical. _Too identical to be a copycat…" Mack rubbed her hand over her face. She was growing tired and frustrated at the whole thing. She just wanted it to end.

"Are you sure it's not some crazy trying to get…"

"I'm positive…and no one is willing to take a look at the notes I had back then. Which, ironically, have gone missing."

Nodding in understanding, Liv reached out and gave her sister's shoulder a squeeze. "Knowing you, you've got copies of the files and notes somewhere, right?"

"I possibly can not comment on a case I'm no longer involved in." Olivia knew she had her answer when she saw Mack smirk. Then she grew very serious.

"Liv…they've arrested the wrong woman…" Mack said quietly. If she was wrong, her career was over. But if she were right…the consequences would be far worse.

Knowing it could get her into trouble with both her wife and the police, Olivia offered her quiet support. "If you need any help, you know where to find me…"

Mackenzie glanced over at her sister and nodded.

* * *

_"Honestly Helen, if you don't get a move on I'm going to fly out there myself and…"_

"And do what Trisha?" Helen smiled at her friend on the other line. If someone had told her 6 years ago that she would have become close to Trisha Harris, Helen would have laughed at you. But now, Trisha had become her saviour – of sorts.

"_Helen, if Mackenzie is all that you say she is, then why in the world are you waiting? Women like that are sure to have lines waiting for them…if you don't get her first, then some other woman will…and it'll be the wrong woman."_

Helen thought she would throw a fit at the thought of another woman with Mackenzie. Closing her eyes, Helen took several deep breaths to calm the jealous beast inside her.

"…_Hello? Helen you still there?"_

Eyes snapping open, Helen felt a deep blush creep up on her.

"Uh…sorry. What were you saying?"

Helen could hear the sly smile in Trisha's voice. _"I rest my case…"_

Sighing in annoyance, Helen just shook her head, "Really Trisha, I sometimes wonder if you're an 8 year old in an old woman's body."

Trisha burst out laughing on the other end. _"I sometimes wonder about that myself. But seriously Helen, the way you've been talking about her…it sounds very much like you've already made your decision…"_

"But I haven't…I'm…very fond of her, yes. Oh! I don't know…isn't it to soon to be thinking of being with another woman?" Helen was so unsure of how to feel. She loved Nikki very much but here she was, thinking of Mackenzie every waking moment.

"_Helen…you know I can't answer that for you…"_ Trisha said gently. She felt for her friend – the confusion the pain. Trisha hoped that Helen would be able to get through it all and still be as strong.

"_How do you feel about her?"_

Helen thought for a moment. "I don't know, Trisha. I mean, when I'm around her…I feel…different…"

"_Different how?"_

"There's something inside me that wasn't there when I was with Nikki. Don't get me wrong, I love Nikki with every ounce of my being, but when I'm with Mackenzie I feel this…"

"_Uncontrollable desire to rip off all her cloths off and ravish her?"_ Trisha finished with a laugh. Helen sighed and pressed her lips together.

"Well, if you have to be so bloody vulgar about it, yes I do!" Hearing it out loud was completely different then hearing it in your head. Helen felt the heat rising to her cheeks.

Trisha gave loud whoop over the phone. _"Helen Stewart you are one wild woman! Really Helen, if you don't do what you want to do to her, you're a bloody tart! Get on with it already!"_

"Trisha Harris!"

Trisha just laughed harder. _"I'm sorry…I can't help it. I've never heard you talk like that before! If I'd know what was underneath all that quiet reserve, Nikki would have had some competition!"_

"How comforting," Helen replied with deadpan amusement. "Trish…there's something else…"

"_Uh-oh…that doesn't sound good. What's wrong?" _Trisha asked gently. Despite the jokes and the teasing, Trisha was worried about her friend. When Nikki had fallen ill, Helen's world was turned upside down and despite all the reassurances from both Nikki and herself, Helen constantly worried about everything – never giving her self a chance to rest.

"Well…I…never mind…"

"_Oh for heaven sakes Helen! Just bloody spit it out!"_

Taking a nervous breath, Helen fought the urge to just hang up the phone. Shutting her eyes tight and gripping the receiver tighter, Helen took the plunge.

"I kissed her…twice…" she blurted out. There was silence on the other end. Helen wondered if she shouldn't have said it.

Trisha sighed. _"Christ Helen! I thought you had done something criminal…don't ever scare me again!"_

"So you're not upset?"

"_Why on earth would I be upset? That's unless you didn't like the kiss…"_

"I…loved it. Both times…" Helen said shyly. She ran her tongue over her bottom lip and tasted Mackenzie.

"_Oh my! That must have been some kiss…" _

"Yes, it was," she said dreamily. "You should see her son…utterly adorable!"

Trisha laughed. As Helen spoke about Alex, Trisha had a feeling that Helen would be all right.

* * *

At around 4 pm the files finally came. Helen had busied herself with exploring her loft after hanging up from Trisha's call. She wondered what Mackenzie was up to and that made her smile.

Picking up the phone Helen dialled Mackenzie's mobile.

"_Benson_," came the sex voice. Helen bit her bottom lip from moaning out loud.

Clearing her throat, Helen did her best to sound unaffected by her voice. "Hiya. Did I call you at a bad time?" She heard a car honking in the background.

_"No not at all. I'm just…uh…running a few errands. I was hoping you'd call…"_ Mackenzie sounded so childlike that Helen smiled brightly.

"Yeah? Trying to play hooky, eh?"

_"Yes! Save me from my misery! I'll do anything! I beg of you!"_ Helen laughed at the comical way Mackenzie's voice became.

"Your wish is my command! I have 4 boxes filled with potential candidates just calling your name."

_"On second thought…"_

"Don't you dare back out now!" Mackenzie laughed at the tone Helen used.

"Well, what's in it for me?" Mackenzie enjoyed this. She felt a calmness inside of her that was never there before – despite the havoc Helen was causing with her emotions.

"I promise to keep you're hearing intact after super karaoke. That work for you?"

_"Hmmm…I don't know. Sounds a bit too tame for me…"_

"Is that so? Well, why don't you come on over here and we'll see if we can come to some sort of arrangement," she said sexily. Mackenzie was quiet for a moment and Helen could almost see her eyes widening.

_"I'll be there in 30 minutes!"_ Mackenzie hung up and Helen laughed. But truth be told, 30 minutes was a long time to wait.

* * *

It actually took 45 minutes to get there. Mack took the stairs two at a time at top speed. It was a miracle that she didn't break anything.

Out of breath, Mack laid the bags to the side and braced her self with one hand on the doorframe while the other knocked on Helen's door.

Sliding it open, Helen's eyes widened in bewilderment. "Yankee! What on earth happened?"

Waving her off, Mackenzie just wiped off the sweat that was sliding down her face. "Sorry I'm late…took me a bit longer…" Placing her hands on her knees, Mack took several deep breaths to slow down her speeding heart.

"Dear lord! Come in…" Helen hurriedly went to the kitchen and grabbed a glass of water. When Mackenzie didn't make any attempt to move, Helen looked at her questioningly.

Mack picked up the bags that she had brought and held them up for Helen. "I brought dinner. I wasn't sure what you liked so I got a little bit of everything…figured we could eat and go through the files – kill two birds with one stone…"

Helen was touched at the thought. She was also charmed by the sheepish look that Mack wore. Ever so gently, Helen reached out and placed a soft hand on Mackenzie's cheek.

"Thank you…" she said softly. Mack was mesmerized and all she could manage was a nod. Leading her to the kitchen, Helen and Mack began to unpack the items. Helen's eyes widened and she smiled as she saw what Mack brought.

"I love curry! Where'd you get it?"

"There's this little Indian family restaurant not to far from here. I'll take you their one time." Mackenzie laughed as she watched Helen inhale the aroma that came from each container. They grabbed two plates and the food and headed for the couch.

"This is utter heaven…what? Are you alright?" Helen said as she licked off the excess food innocently from her fingers and saw Mackenzie staring. Realizing what she was doing, Helen smiled devilishly. Immediately, Helen had an idea. She dipped her finger into the thick sauce and held it out temptingly at Mack.

She watched as Mackenzie's eyes widened, her nostrils flared ever so slightly. She watched as Mack swallowed nervously. Helen felt ridiculously proud of her self at having that effect on Mack.

Receiving no response from her, Helen shrugged and brought her finger to her lips but didn't get far. She felt a warm gentle hand warp them self around her wrist. Ever so slowly, Mackenzie brought Helen's finger to her lips. Keeping their eyes locked on each other, Mackenzie took Helen's finger into her mouth and slowly sucked.

The heat from Mack's mouth was doing wonder full things to Helen. She felt her eyes flutter shut. Her breathing became slightly laboured and she felt herself unconsciously licking her bottom lip as she watched Mackenzie's mouth mover over her finger.

Mackenzie's lips moved from Helen's finger to her hand. There she kissed, licked and lightly nibbled at Helen's palm. Helen moaned as sensations flooded her. Her free hand found its way under Mackenzie's shirt and was now roaming Mack's warm skin. As Helen's hand pushed her way up along Mack's body, Mack's free hand was busy caressing Helen's thigh.

Helen leaned forward and rested her forehead in the crook of Mack's neck and kissed the warm skin she encountered there. Mackenzie groaned as she felt Helen's tongue glide over a sensitive spot on her neck. Helen continued her assault on Mackenzie's neck as Mack's mouth worked its way from Helen's hand to her forearm all the way up to Helen's neck.

Helen's hands caressed the hot skin under her. They pushed their way up until her hands rested under Mack's breasts. Mackenzie had just a little sense left to realize what was going to happen if she didn't stop soon.

Pulling away from Helen's glorious mouth, she almost crumbled at the sound of Helen whimpering, and brought her own hands up and stopped Helen's from going any further.

Both were breathing heavily but didn't look away. They both had small smiles on their faces. Helen looked like she had just been thoroughly ravished and Mackenzie was beyond aroused at the sight of Helen's hands on her.

"I'd say dinner was a hit…" Helen said as she rested her forehead against Mackenzie's. With hands still on Mack, Helen slid them around her and moved closer. She ended up straddling Mackenzie and held her tight.

"I'll say…" Mack said with a small laugh. She was having difficulty forming a coherent thought with Helen this close and straddling her. Mackenzie's hands wouldn't stay still. They roamed all over Helen's back then drifted down to her hips. They eventually made their way to her thighs. She felt the muscles there and loved the feel of them flexing against her hands.

Closing her eyes, Mackenzie titled her head back as Helen's hands found their way into her hair and began to message her head. "Mmmm…that feels really so good," murmured Mackenzie. She bit her lower lip and groaned as Helen continued to work her magic.

Smiling at the look of pure pleasure on Mackenzie's face, Helen rubbed her cheeks with Mack's. "May I make a suggestion?" Helen whispered huskily into Mackenzie's ear. Mack grunted in pleasure as hot breath hit her like a truck.

Against her will, Mack's hips moved upward as she held Helen's waist in place. She was so close to losing it right now. Hearing her name being whispered, Mackenzie opened her eyes and stared into Helen's.

"Huh?" That was all Mackenzie could manage at the moment. Helen was making it extremely difficult to concentrate.

"Can't we just skip the friendship thing and just get on with it?" Helen asked as her lips hovered closely over Mackenzie's. Her hot breath was doing crazy things to Mackenzie.

"Sweetheart…_oh god that feels good_…honey, you know that's not a good…_ahhhh_…idea…" Helen's hands had made their way under Mack's shirt again and this time they found their goal. Helen caressed and messaged Mackenzie's already sensitive breasts.

"Just one kiss…" Helen said as her lips found the corner of Mackenzie's mouth. As tempting as it was, Mack had to keep strong which was proving more impossible by the second.

"Ace, you know it won't be just one kiss…" Mackenzie moaned as Helen grinded herself against Mack. "Sweetheart…" Mackenzie's voice cracked as Helen moved again.

Sighing in defeat, Helen nodded. "I know, I know. I can't help it…"

"Oh god! Thank you…" Mackenzie sighed in obvious relief. Helen just arched an eyebrow. "I didn't know how much longer I could have held on…" Mack explained.

Helen, feeling the little devil inside her take over, smiled slyly. "I guess we should get to work on those files, yeah?" She said as her hands slid from Mackenzie's breasts to the clasp that held Mack's bra together. She undid it quickly, slid her hands back to Mack's breasts before she had time to protest.

Eyes widened and breathing became difficult as Helen ever so slowly stroked first the sides of her breasts then just as slowly moved to her nipples. Mackenzie leaned back and rested her hands on the sides of the sofa as she watched Helen. Closing her eyes and leaning her head back, Mackenzie moaned softly as Helen's fingers played with her hardened nipples

Helen pushed Mack back to lie down on the sofa and as she did so, grinded her hip against Mackenzie's adding just enough pressure in just the right spot causing Mack to cry out loud.

"Oh God! Helen!" Helen smiled as she watched Mackenzie close her eyes, pleasure etched on her face. Sweat started to form on Mack's face with the restraint she was having show but there was no hiding it – Mackenzie loved every single move Helen was making.

Mackenzie's shirt was bunched up around her armpits exposing her to Helen's wandering hands. Helen braced herself on Mackenzie's abs and leaned forward until their lips were a breath apart.

Licking her lips and making sure that her tongue grazed Mackenzie's as well, Helen whispered seductively, "Remember…this was your idea…" and just like that, Helen slid off of the very aroused and shocked Mackenzie and headed for the boxes. Mack laid there in utter shock.

_Yup…she's gonna be the death of me..._

* * *

Three and a half hours later, they had gone through two and a half boxes. There were three piles of files – yes, no, considering. Helen and Mack, for the most part, worked well together. There were a few inmates that Mack and Helen argued over. But all in all, they had made progress.

Mack's legs were stretched out while Helen's were draped over Mack's thighs. Helen could feel Mack adjusting herself ever so often.

"Is there something wrong?"

Wincing slightly then re-adjusting herself once more Mack just grunted. "You could say that."

"What is it?" Helen was now worried. Tossing the file she had in her hands onto the coffee table, she leaned forward and reached out and rested a hand on Mack's shoulder.

"You…"

"Me! What on earth did I do?"

"You try sitting down when you've been thoroughly groped by a sexy Scottish woman! I don't even want to think about walking!" Mack pouted. She didn't care if she looked childish. Helen giggled and Mack glared at her.

"You think this is funny? You try being aroused and you tell me if you'll be comfortable sitting down!" Helen just laughed harder. Mackenzie couldn't help it, she laughed a little at the silliness of it.

"Well it was your idea stop…" Helen said trying not to laugh.

"Yeah…well, next time I ever get a bright idea like that, tell me to shove it!"

Helen was unable to stop it from happening – she burst out laughing. Mack just shook her head and smiled.

* * *

The next day, Helen and Mack made plans to take a look at the building Helen was going to use for the project.

"It's not much to look at yet. A few more pictures on the walls…some fresh paint. I'm going to work on some of the rooms – renovate them, get them all cleaned out and all that. Pretty soon it'll be ready to fly." Mackenzie said as she led Helen from room to room.

Helen was impressed. "How are you going to manage all that with your own work load? I'm sure you'll need time to sleep." She was actually surprised that Mackenzie had been spending so much time with her since she got here. Not that she was complaining.

She noticed Mackenzie stiffen slightly at the mention of work and immediately knew something was wrong. Mackenzie caught sight of the look Helen was giving her and smiled.

"What? You don't want me spending time with you?" Mack teased.

Helen knew well enough not to push the subject further. Instead she grabbed Mackenzie's hand and dragged her along, down the hallways.

"I love being with you and you know it. Now, show me more of the place."

Mackenzie just laughed and let her self get dragged from room to room.

After the mini tour, the two went home and finished looking through the files. Helen promised to behave, but that didn't stop her from reaching out from time to time to stroke or caress Mackenzie wherever she could reach.

Mack picked one particular file then almost dropped it when she read the name on it. _Shit…_she thought. Making a mental note, Mack placed the file in the 'considering' pile.

"You wanna go out?"

Helen looked up at the folder she was reading. "Now?" Mack nodded and waited patiently. "Sure. I could use a break anyways."

"Great! Where to?" Mackenzie gently lifted Helen's legs from her accustomed place on her thighs.

"I was thinking of going by that toy store…"

"Toy's R Us? We can swing by there. Mind if I ask why?" Mackenzie just couldn't see Helen as the 'toy' type.

"I promised Alex I'd let him stay with me while you were at work or running your errands. Give Bradanna and Olivia bit of a rest…"

"I never knew that…" Mack felt a little hurt that her son hadn't come to her first. Helen saw the pain in Mackenzie's eyes.

"I just thought of it this morning when you dropped him off at Olivia's place."

"Oh…"

"Come on! Let's get going…" With that, Helen jumped from the sofa and dragged Mackenzie with her.

* * *

Friday came around quickly and Helen was feeling giddy. She found herself humming as she puttered around her loft. Mackenzie was running some errand again and wouldn't be back until after lunch.

She busied herself with getting her place more 'kid friendly' for Alex. Helen smiled brightly at the thought of the young man. He had taken to her the second they met. Helen had gone a little crazy at Toy's R Us buying everything she thought Alex would need or want.

_Mackenzie couldn't convince Helen that Alex had enough toys at home. "Helen, you're spoiling him. He's got so many toys already; he doesn't know what to do with most of them…"_

"_Yes, I know that. But he doesn't have any toys at my loft. It would just make sense to have a few…at least he won't get bored…oh! Look! There's the new Batman Lego set! He'll love that!"_

"_Helen…" Mack said warningly even though she knew it was useless._

Helen laughed at the way she dragged a willing Mackenzie around the huge store. By the end of their adventure, Helen was now well stocked with games, toys and yes a video game system. Although, Helen had a deep suspicion that it was more for Mackenzie's use rather then Alex's.

Shaking her head, she went to the kitchen to make some lunch. Knowing Mackenzie, she would be starving.

* * *

At 7:30 that evening Mack made her way across the hall to Helen's place. Knocking gently, Mack waited for Helen to answer.

"Mama…can I go now?" Looking down at her son, Mack saw that he was anxious to go over to his cousin's place. Sighing and smiling down gently at him, Mack nodded.

"Go on. I'll watch until you get there." Taking off, Alex ran as fast as his legs could take him. Laughing to herself, Mackenzie watched carefully as she saw Brady open up the door and greet him in a big bear hug.

Waving to the two of them, Mack turned as she heard the door slide open. Mackenzie stood with her jaw hanging open. Helen had put on a pair of tight jeans and an equally tight t-shirt. Mack always saw her in suits so this was one hell of a change. A change Mack defiantly approved of.

"Ready?" All Mack could do was nod. Smiling slyly, Helen slid her door shut and locked it. Taking hold of Mack's hand, Helen led them to Olivia and Brady's loft.

* * *

As the night wore on, both teams were neck and neck. Mackenzie's group consisted of Olivia, herself, Sol and Brianna, while Helen's group was made up of Brady, Helen and Charlie and Alex. Kayla was too little to join so she was the designated mascot.

"Tie breaker!" yelled out Brianna. Mackenzie sat back knowing she wasn't going to get picked for it.

"Ok…let's see…Mack and Helen, you two can go for it…" Brady said with a little sparkle in her eye.

_What! Is she nuts? I never get picked! _

"What are you waiting for Yankee? Scared?" Helen teased. Getting up from the couch, she sauntered over to the coffee table and bent down to grab the mic. _Oh…she is so going down!_

"Scared? Me? Bring it!" Everyone cheered, as both contestants got ready to battle it out. Brady, since she was the most civil of the bunch, picked out the perfect song for those two.

As the music started Mackenzie had a feeling that Brady was up to something. But she was going to think about that later. She had a game to win.

Mackenzie sang first.

"_The closer I get to you_

_The more you'll make me see_

_Like giving me all you've got_

_Your love has captured me"_

Then it was Helen's turn.

"_Over and over again_

_I'll try to tell myself that we_

_Could never be more than friends_

_And all the while inside_

_I knew it was real_

_The way you make me feel"_

As they sang, Mackenzie wrapped an arm around Helen, who just snuggled closer. The room had gotten quiet as they sang. Alex was ridiculously happy. He glanced at Brady and she winked at him.

The song was close to an end. Helen smiled as she leaned back against Mack. She began to move slowly against her, trying to throw Mack off. Mack just held on to her doing her best to concentrate on the words coming up on the screen.

Mack sang her last solo part and Helen nuzzled her neck. Mackenzie faulted but wasn't quick enough to regain what she missed. The buzzer on the game sounded signaling the error.

"YES!! WE WON!" Helen's group jumped up and cheered. Mackenzie's stood there looking dumbfounded.

"How could you lose that?" Sol said in disbelief. "You got beaten by a girl!" Brianna exclaimed. Olivia just threw her head back and laughed. Mack picked up a small cushion and whipped it at her sister. Olivia just laughed harder.

Shaking her head, Mack watched as Charlie, Alex and Brady surrounded Helen. She fit in perfectly. Mack's heart swelled with a feeling she wasn't ready to name.

Mack felt a tug on her arm. Looking down, she saw that it was Alex. "Hey Bud, did you have fun?" Her son nodded then holding out his arms, Mack bent down and picked him up.

"Ready to go home?"

"Can I sleep here tonight?"

"Sure. I don't see why not?"

"YES!" Alex pumped his little fists in the air. Mackenzie laughed then placing him gently back down, he ran to Sol and Brianna who also jumped up and down. Sensing someone was watching her, Mack turned to see that it was Helen.

Helen wandered over to her and Mack wrapped her arms around her.

"Good game…" Nodding, Mackenzie quietly stared.

"You're pretty good…" Mackenzie still said nothing.

"Ready to get out of here?" Nodding, Mack smiled.

Turing and saying their goodnights, they left the craziness of the Benson brood. Walking slowly back to the other end of the hall, hand in hand, the two women were quite.

They arrived at there respective lofts and stood in the hall looking at each other.

Helen was the first to speak. "Did you want to come in for a bit? I can make you some tea."

"Sure." Mackenzie followed Helen in and again, that awkward feeling hung above them.

"So…" Helen said awkwardly. She started to fiddle with the hem of her shirt. Mackenzie couldn't take this anymore.

"Look, it's getting weird again. I'm just going go…"

Helen quickly reached out and placed a hand on Mack's arm to stop her. "Stay…"

Sighing Mack turned to look at her. "Helen, if I stay…you know what's going to happen."

"I know. I just want…please stay. Sit with me…" Helen pleaded. Mack couldn't deny her that.

Mack took her hand and led her to the living room then took her in her arms. They stood like that for a while. Helen rested her head on Mack's chest and held her tight.

"I really had fun. Thank you for inviting me."

"It was my pleasure. You really have a good voice, you know." Mack ran her hands down the length of Helen's back. They were silent again.

"Helen, why am I here?" Mackenzie asked quietly. She felt the mood change the moment they had left her sister's place. Mack felt Helen reach up and slid her hand into her hair. Helen gently pushed Mack's head down and their lips touched.

Eye's fluttering shut, Mackenzie stayed still, enjoying the feel of Helen's lips moving over hers.

"Helen…" Mack said softly. Helen took advantage of that moment and slipped her tongue inside. Sighing, Mack let Helen take the lead. She opened up and granted access to Helen's warm tongue. Helen explored the inside of Mack's mouth, loving the texture of it.

Their tongues brushed and both women moaned at the sensations it made. Mack gently sucked at Helens tongue, causing Helen to moan sexily in her throat. The sound drove Mackenzie wild and her hands went to Helen's waist and held her there.

When air became an issue, they broke apart breathing heavily. They rested their foreheads against the others.

"God Helen…that feels so good." Nodding, Helen just slipped both hands into Mack's hair and had every intention of doing it all over again. Putting her hands on Helen's shoulders, Mack held back.

"Wait sweetheart…slow down…" whimpering, Helen nodded and bit her lower lip and waited.

"Honey…I don't want this to get awkward again. Do you think this is a good idea?" Mackenzie had to touch her so she held Helen close and waited patiently for Helen's answer.

With her hands still in Mackenzie's hair, Helen again pulled Mack's head close and whispered over her lips, "It doesn't have to be awkward…"

"No regrets?"

Shaking her head, Helen closed the gap and began kissing Mackenzie once more, but this time with much more heat that Mackenzie had to hold on to Helen or else she would have sunken to the floor.

Helen stated pulling Mack towards the bedroom when Mack stopped her again. "Honey, as much as I want to make love to you, can we take this slowly?"

Helen smiled and reached up and cupped Mackenzie's cheek. Nodding she said lovingly, "yeah, slow sounds good. But I want you to stay tonight. Just hold me…nothing else. I just need your arms around me…"

Mackenzie was quiet. She bent her head and softly kissed Helen's lips. Lifting her head just a fraction whispered, "Let's go to bed…"

Helen led the way with Mack closely following behind her. They undressed each other gently, kissing the exposed skin of the other. Climbing into bed, Mackenzie wrapped her arms around Helen creating a warm cocoon. Helen nestled in the strong protective arms and rested her head in the crook of Mack's neck.

Lifting her head as sleep crept up on them, Helen smiled softly at Mack. "Thank you," she said.

"I need this too…goodnight sweetheart."

"Goodnight. No regrets."

"No regrets."

With that, Helen laid her head back down and closed her eyes. Her arms encircled Mack's waist and she let sleep engulf them. Mackenzie sighed and closed her eyes. Tomorrow would bring a new day.


	10. Morning Has Broken

SVU/Bad Girls belong to their respective owners. Excerpts are from Harry Potter: Order of the Phoenix and belong to J.K. Rowling.

PS – forgot to add a disclaimer for the last chapter. The song (excerpt used in the chapter 'Closer I Get to You') was sung by Roberta Flack & Donny Hathaway.

Cheers!

* * *

Morning Has Broken

_9:30 am – Saturday _

Helen was the first to slowly awake. She still had her eyes closed but was well aware of the warm body behind her. Inhaling, Helen did her best to keep perfectly still as she stretched, trying not awaken the beautiful detective.

Mack pressed her herself close as she felt Helen stretch. "You feel really sexy when you do that…" she mumbled. She kissed the back of Helen's neck then moved slowly to her shoulder. Mackenzie's hands didn't stay still. They explored every texture of Helen's abdomen then ever so slowly; they made their way up to lightly caress the sides of Helen's breasts.

Helen moaned as Mackenzie's gifted fingers found her nipples. Mack slowly messaged them until she heard Helen cry out and threw her head back. Helen pressed herself more in to those fingers, a silent order for Mack to do more then just message them. Laughing huskily, Mack just continued her assault on those perfect nipples all the while kissing and licking her way back up to Helen's neck.

"What are you doing to me?" Helen whispered raggedly. She manoeuvred herself so she was lying on her stomach supporting herself on her forearms. Mack moved so she was laying half on top and half supporting herself on her left forearm while her other hand was busy with Helen's breasts.

Breathing heavily, Mack nibbled on Helen's ear. "Just returning the favour…_ahhh Helen…_" Mackenzie cried out as Helen moved against her. Helen took hold of the hand that was on her breast and guided it to where she needed it most.

Both women moaned as Mack's fingers made contact with Helen's womanhood. Unable to control herself, Mackenzie slipped two fingers in, and then sliding back out groaning out loud as she discovered Helen was already wet. Helen gasped as she felt Mackenzie inside her, moving with fingers.

Helen rested her hand over Mack's indicating that she wanted more. Gradually, Mack gave in and added more pressure only to be momentarily sidetracked as Helen pushed herself against Mack causing her to moan loudly.

"_Helen_…" was all Mackenzie could say as a new wave of pleasure washed over her. Closing her eyes at the new sensations she was feeling, Mack rested her head against Helen's shoulder as their bodies moved as one. Turning at the sound of her name being called, Helen was now pressed tightly against Mackenzie.

Mack held herself on both of her hands as to not crush Helen. She threw her head back and groaned as Helen wrapped her strong legs tightly around her waist bringing her flush against her. That small movement caused Helen's wet mound to be pressed tightly against Mack's own wetness, making Mackenzie's head spin.

Helen's arms went around Mackenzie's shoulders and she pulled her closer to her. "Sweetheart…I'm going to crush you…" Mack grunted before she gasped out loud at how wet Helen was. Smiling shamelessly, Helen grinded herself against Mack.

Unable to control her body's reaction any longer, Mackenzie moved with Helen. Mack's arms were shaking with the effort of trying to keep upright. But that didn't matter since Helen was intent on keeping her close.

Mackenzie closed her eyes as she buried her face in the crook of Helen's neck. She moaned out loud as the pace quickened. Wrapping her arms under Helen's shoulder, Mackenzie held on as she pushed and grinded her hips against Helens.

Helen gasped and sighed with every thrust. Her hands moved over Mack's back and rested on Mackenzie's hips. She felt Mackenzie's lips move over her neck kissing her way up to her lips.

Their faces were inches apart and both were breathing heavy. Eyes locked on each other, Mackenzie slipped a hand in between them. She slipped one then two fingers into Helen. She watched as Helen threw her head back and cried out.

"_YESSS!! Ahhhh_…" Helen dug her fingers into Mackenzie's shoulders and arched into her fingers. Helen had to shut her eyes at the pleasure she was getting from Mackenzie's magical fingers. Mackenzie applied just enough pressure to a sensitive spot causing Helen to moan a little to loudly.

"Sweetheart," breathed Mackenzie. "Not so loud. We wouldn't want to wake up the building…" she teased. She was getting extremely aroused at the noises Helen was making. She never knew that she could be turned on so much by someone moaning and groaning.

Grabbing Mackenzie's face in both hands, Helen breathlessly shot back, "sod you." Then kissed Mackenzie hard. In response, Mack put pressure over Helen's sensitive spot once more and Helen moaned into Mackenzie's mouth.

Breaking from the kiss with a grunt, Mack bit her lower lip and shut her eyes. She felt the pressure building. Helen saw how close Mack was and slipped her own hand in between them. Eye's snapping open, Mack felt Helen's hand find her and slipped inside her.

"_Oh God! Helen! Yeah…" _Mackenzie grunted out loud. Wincing in pleasure, Mack picked up the pace and thrust hard against Helen. _"Please Helen! Can't…wait…"_

"Come with me love…_ahhhhh_!!"

Both women threw their heads back and finally let go. Groaning out loud, Mack collapsed on top of Helen. Feeling arms wrap themselves around her, Mackenzie struggled to move.

"Don't move…" Helen said huskily as she stroked the muscles in Mack's back. She still couldn't get enough of them flexing under her touch. She highly doubted that she would ever get tired of feeling them or seeing them.

Mack had her head buried in Helen's neck as she mumbled, "too heavy…" and again she was unable to fight with Helen's arms. Instead, she wrapped an arm around Helen and moved so Mack was now on the bottom and Helen was on top.

Apparently, Helen loved the new position. She stretched herself over Mackenzie's body and smiled as she heard Mack sigh. Leaning down, Helen lightly kissed Mackenzie on the lips as she moved her hips. Smiling proudly as she heard the quiet moan escape from the woman beneath her, she kissed her fully.

Breaking the kiss and smiling tenderly as Mackenzie tried to recapture her lips, Helen teased the other woman by hovering just close enough then pulling back quickly as Mack tried to kiss her.

"_Helen…_" moaned Mackenzie. She stared at her beautiful Scot above her and pouted. Helen gave her a toothy grin and rubbed her nose with Mack's.

"Patience, love," Helen said throatily.

"But I want to kiss you now," Mackenzie pleaded. Helen gave in and kissed her deeply until they were struggling for air.

"That better?" Helen said breathlessly. She watched as Mackenzie smiled like a cat that was well fed. "I'll take that as a yes."

Mackenzie's smile faltered a little as what happened just moments before finally sunk in. Helen knew what was coming. A big dose of regret, not that she had any. But she knew Mack well enough to know that she was going to feel guilty.

"Don't even start…" Helen began. "Nuh-uh. Not one bloody word from you. I won't let you feel guilty about making love with me." Helen covered Mack's mouth with her hand. Sighing in defeat, Mack threw her hands in the air. Taking her hand off Mack's mouth, she quickly placed a kiss on her lips.

"But Helen…we were supposed to go slow…" Mack looked at Helen with concerned eyes.

Smiling devilishly, Helen's mouth was inches from Mack as she spoke sensuously; "Yankee, that was slow…" then she nibbled Mack's chin then her jaw line then moved to her neck. Helen's hands moved to cup Mack's breasts and gently kneaded them.

Eyes fluttering shut, Mackenzie could only moan as Helen's hands worked their magic. Several times, Mack tried to reach for Helen but was gently pushed away. Mackenzie lay there at the mercy of this sexy Scot and all Mack could do was grab the sheet that she laid on and held on tight.

Mack felt one of Helen's thigh's slip in between her legs and slowly pushed up. Moaning, Mackenzie tried once more to touch Helen. Instead of pushing her hands away, Helen held them down and smiled.

"Sweetheart…we're not going to go slow this time around," Helen purred. Leaning down, Helen kissed her deeply and the thigh that was between Mack's legs was accompanied with two gifted fingers.

Mackenzie's last thoughts before sensations hit her full force was that she was going to be thoroughly ravished.

_

* * *

_

12:15 pm

Legs tangled, sheets were half on the floor and half covering the two naked bodies, neither noticed nor cared. Helen rested her head above Mack's heart and watched contentedly as Mack fiddled with their fingers.

Mackenzie slightly turned her head and kissed the top of Helen's head. Helen closed her eyes and enjoyed the feel of Mack's lips on her.

After a moment, Mack brought Helen's hand to her lips and lovingly kissed it. Resting the hand on her chest, Mack couldn't have been more at peace then she was at this very moment.

"Where do we go from here, Helen?" Mack asked quietly. Helen wasn't sure herself. She was really never in this position before. With Nikki, she always knew where she stood. But this time was a different story.

Lifting her head and resting her chin on Mackenzie's chest, Helen studied her for a moment.

"We've already passed the friendship stage…"

"Obviously," Mack said with a crooked smile. Reaching down and giving Mack's rear-end a quick pinch Helen giggled as she felt Mack jerk forward.

"Hey! Behave yourself missy!" Helen just scrunched up her face and stuck her tongue out. Mack just smiled and placed a quick kiss on her lips.

They were quiet as realization hit them. "God…this is weird…" Mack sighed.

"Weird how?"

Mackenzie thought how to say it right. "Well…I've never made love to a friend before. I'm just not sure how to handle that…"

Nodding in understanding, Helen reached up and placed a hand on the side of Mack's face. "I'm not sure how to handle that either. But now that we're both here, don't you think we should give it a go?"

"Well…yeah. But we don't even know each other. We've been friends for, what, less then a week, and here we are, naked…I mean, I'm not supposed to want my friend _that way_…but I want you so much…my head hurts at how much I want you…." Mack threw her hands up in frustration. "God, I suck at this…"

"Not at all. You're doing brilliantly." Helen tenderly placed a kiss on Mack's cheek. "Let me get this straight, you want me more then just as a friend but you think it's not right to be having thoughts about me that way, yeah?"

Nodding, Mack ran a hand through her hair. "Yeah…pretty much. Sounds better when you say it."

"Exactly what thoughts were you having about me anyways?" Helen asked playfully. Seeing the blush rise on Mackenzie's cheeks, Helen laughed softly.

"Helen, I'm serious." Mackenzie pleaded.

"I know, love. You think this is easy for me too? I thought I'd be with Nikki for the rest of my life. Grow old with her, drive each other mad…" Mackenzie saw how much Helen lost in her eyes.

"I'm sorry. It's obvious you love her very much. I do wish things were different for you."

Nodding, Helen buried her face into Mackenzie's chest. Mack felt the warm tears as she held Helen. Nothing would have prepared her for the wave of emotions that washed over her.

As Helen's tears subsided, Mack brushed away Helen's hair as it fell over and tenderly smiled.

"Ok?" She whispered softly. Helen nodded and rested her head on Mackenzie's shoulder. They were quiet once again, both lost in there own thoughts. Helen's hand lightly traced the muscles in Mack's abs.

"Can I ask you something?" Helen asked quietly. She stopped what she was doing and looked up to look into Mackenzie's eyes. Nodding, Mack reached up and gently kissed Helen on the lips. Helen relaxed visibly which got Mack wondering what got Helen so nervous.

Helen wasn't sure how to ask something so personal. Chewing her bottom lip, Helen thought about changing her mind until Mack made the decision for her.

"Is it something personal?" Mackenzie asked curiously.

Helen nodded then quickly added, "You don't have to answer if you don't want…"

Smiling at how cute Helen was when she rambled on, Mack gently cut off the flow of words. "Honey, I won't know until you ask. Go on, ask me anything…"

Inhaling, there was no turning back now. "Well…I noticed that there were…on your back…" She felt Mack stiffen slightly. "You don't have to…"

"Helen, it's alright. You saw my scars?" She watched as Helen nodded and scooted closer. Mackenzie was quiet as she tried to figure out how to explain those ugly marks. When people found out about them they would pull back as if she were contagious. Mackenzie didn't care about them or what they thought but the woman she held in her arms…her opinion of Mack would no doubt make or break her.

Taking a deep breath Mack prepared herself for the worst. "So…which do you want to know first? The 'who' or the 'how'?" She tried to sound as if it really didn't affect her when inside, all she wanted to do was hide. She didn't want to see Helen's reaction, she never wanted her to see or hear this part of her –the fact that Helen saw them made Mackenzie terrified.

Even after all these years and months of therapy, Mackenzie still felt like something was wrong with her that she deserved what happened to her. Like a freak of nature.

Eyes held concern, anger…and love? Mackenzie knew that was impossible. There's no way Helen could love her. She was seeing things.

"Who would do this to you?" Helen whispered with concern and anger laced together. Mackenzie tried to look away but Helen gently held her chin. Mack had no choice but to look into Helen's eyes.

Closing her eyes so she would have to see Helen's reaction, she whispered, "my mother…" Helen gasped and quickly covered her mouth. She could have sworn she heard wrong. _Her mother? How could a mother do that to her own child?_

Mackenzie's heart sank. She truly thought Helen would be different, not like the others but as always, Mack was wrong. _Pathetic! Stupid child…you'll never learn! _Her mother's voice rang in her head as if she were standing in the room with them. She felt tears begin to form and quickly turned her head to the side to prevent Helen from seeing them fall.

Swallowing her pain she cleared her throat and started to move from under Helen. "I think I better go," she said softly and inched her way to the edge of the bed. She carefully reached for her shirt first making sure Helen didn't see her scars again. Slipping it on, Mack sat up and reached for her jeans.

"No wait…" Helen reached out and placed her hand on Mackenzie's back but quickly pulled it back when she saw Mack slightly flinch. "Mackenzie…" she tried again.

Without looking at her, Mack just shook her head. "It's ok, Helen. Really…I…I understand." She was having trouble getting her jeans on and Helen saw this as the perfect opportunity to get Mack to listen.

Crawling across her big bed, Helen wrapped her arms around Mack making sure she had a good grip just in case she tried to fight it. As predicted, Mack struggled to get free from Helen. Mackenzie was unable to pry Helen's strong arms from around her without hurting her. Helen tightened her hold on her. She wasn't going to escape without hearing what Helen had to say.

"Helen…just let me go…please…" Mackenzie begged brokenly. She wasn't sure how long she could hold her tears at bay.

Pressing her body close to Mack's back, she whispered in her ear. "No. Not until you listen to what I have to say. Then you can leave if you want. Until then, you have to listen…"

Mack gave up. She hung her head in defeat but kept her hands on Helen's. Mackenzie kept her eyes shut.

Helen knew this was going to be hard battle to win. "Mackenzie, you've miss interpreted my reaction. If you thought your scars disgusted me, you're bloody wrong. What your mother did…no mother would or should _ever_ hurt her child like that…_never…_"

Shaking her head Mack squeezed Helen's hands, "then why would she do that to me? What did I do wrong?" Mack had tried so hard to figure out what she did wrong. To this day, she couldn't find the answers. All she got were more questions.

"You did _nothing_ wrong. You're mother was _very_ sick woman. A real mother…a decent human being would never raise their hand against an innocent child." Helen desperately hoped that she was getting through to Mack.

"I don't want to be like her…I'm scared I'll be like her…" Mackenzie was paralyzed with the fear that she would end up hurting Alex. She shut her eyes as nausea hit her.

Helen held her tighter. "I know without a doubt that you are _nothing_ like your mother. The way you are with Alex…that's how a real mother is supposed to be. You love your son, Mackenzie. Remember that…you love your son."

Helen gently kissed the back of Mackenzie's head. Slowly, Helen placed a soft hand on Mackenzie's back and lightly caressed it. She felt Mack relax visibly and Helen took a chance and slowly slid her hand under Mack's top.

Mackenzie closed her eyes as she felt tender hands on her back. She relaxed as she felt Helen gently finger her knife wound then moved to the other scars. Fingers were replaced by warm lips as they went over her entire back and covered ever scar.

Helen carefully peeled away Mackenzie's top then wrapped her arms around her once more. "You're scars don't frighten me. They show me how brave you are and what you had to endure as a child. That makes you more precious to me," she fiercely whispered.

They stayed that way for a while. Mackenzie was having a hard time wrapping her head around what Helen just said. Her hands came up and held on to Helen's, which were, again, wrapped around her.

"I'm not used to this…" she started quietly. Helen gave Mackenzie a gentle squeeze and kissed her shoulder.

"All this attention you mean?" Mack nodded. Smiling, Helen nuzzled the side of Mackenzie's face. "Get used to it…there's more where that came from." Laughing a little, Mack just shook her head.

"Most people kind of stay away from me when they know or if they happen to see my scars. Like I have plague or something…" Mack said quietly. It always hurt when people would look at you differently when they knew. Some with pity and others with fear.

"You really need to change the company you keep, love." Helen said playfully.

"That's why I have you," Mack said as she turned her head and kissed Helen.

"And don't you dare forget it!" They laughed and Helen dragged Mackenzie back into bed with her. Helen gently kissed Mack at first, and then deepened it as she heard a soft moan coming from Mackenzie.

Just then Mackenzie's cell sprang to life. Both froze, startled by the sound then laughed at how silly they were. Mackenzie's ring tone sounded very familiar.

"Spice Girls? Really?" Helen covered her mouth as a laugh escaped. Mackenzie just growled and quickly planted a kiss on her lips before she sat up. Grabbing her cell, Mack put it to her ear and smiled at who the caller was.

"Hey Bud…uh…yeah, I'm ok…sounds like a good idea…sure I'll tell her…how about in an hour or so? …Good, see you guys then…love you too, Bud…ok, bye." Hanging up, Mack eyed Helen.

"Uh…you wouldn't mind joining my sister and company for some food? It's a thing we do - losing team makes breakfast." Mack explained with a sheepish smile.

Smiling, Helen nodded. "I'd love too," then reaching out she ran a hand through Mackenzie's think hair.

"Ok…I'd better get outta here and grab a shower…umph! HEY!" Mackenzie was dragged back to bed. "We're gonna be late. We only have an hour…" she said weakly as Helen climbed on top. Straddling the now willing Mackenzie, Helen leaned forward and whispered in her ear.

"Don't you worry…what I have in mind won't take that long…"

Eye's fluttering shut, Mack held on to the sheets under her as Helen proceeded to nibble her way down her body.

_Oh God…_

_

* * *

_

2: 15 pm

It had taken more then an hour but they didn't care. Mack and Helen were rushing down the hall with satisfied faces. Yes, they were running late but they had a whole lot of fun doing it.

They had taken separate showers to eliminate the temptation of bare skin only to have a massive make out session shortly afterwards. Now running a hand through her hair, Helen glanced at Mackenzie and smiled coyly. She quickly reached down and grabbed Mack's rear end making the other woman jump.

"Hey! Behave!" Giggling, Helen reached up and gave Mack a quick kiss. They knocked on the door as Mack put an arm around Helen's shoulders.

The door flew open. "It's about time! I'm starving!"

"_Charlie!"_ Olivia and Brady said warningly. Throwing up her hands, Charlie just wandered off. Smirking, Mack followed Helen into the loft.

"Sorry we're late. Slept in…" Mack explained. From the blush that was slowly making it's way up Mack's neck and the smirks that Helen and Mack were receiving from Liv and Brady, no one believed that excuse.

"_Right_…is that what they're calling it now?" Olivia said with a crooked smile.

"You would know," Brady replied from behind. Olivia turned to see her wife standing there with her arms crossed wearing a grin on her face. Olivia mumbled something about being hungry and quickly made her way to the kitchen.

Mackenzie saw her sister's face turn a deep shade of red. Failing at hiding her smirk, Mack cleared her throat. "So…what's on the menu today?" She reached over and gave Brady a hug before she reached for Helen's hand.

Helen and Mack smiled at each other in silent communication. Brady was the only one that saw it and smiled to her self. She and Olivia shared many moments like that.

"Well, that's up to you guys…" Alex running into the room interrupted Brady.

"MAMA!!" Launching himself into his mother's arms, Mackenzie easily caught him and held him tight.

"Hey big boy! You behaved yourself?" Mack ruffled her son's hair as he nodded. Alex smiled as he noticed Helen there.

"Hi Helen!" Then reaching over he latched onto Helen's neck wanting to be carried by her. Helen swiftly took him from Mack's arms.

"Easy there Bud…"

"That's quite alright. I've missed you young man," Helen said as she adjusted Alex on her hip. Alex gave her a crooked smile that resembled the famous 'Benson smile'. _They start them young_, Helen thought with a smile.

"I missed you too!" Alex leaned in and gave Helen a quick kiss before he settled himself comfortably in her arms. All four women laughed at how Alex was with Helen. "Can we eat now?" Alex said in his 8 year old voice. Everyone laughed harder.

Everyone headed for the kitchen. Helen's group from last night settled down at the table talking all at once. Helen smiled at the craziness; _no wonder Mackenzie loves it here._ In the kitchen the two adults were getting all the ingredients they'd need for the big breakfast/lunch handing the easier things to Brianna and Sol.

Mackenzie watched Helen laugh at something Charlie had said. Alex tapped Helen on the arm and whispered something in her ear, which made her smile brightly. Mack watched as she put her arms around her son and hugged him tightly.

"Hey," Olivia elbowed Mack in the ribs startling her. Liv chuckled as her sister jumped. Sol and Brianna laughed quietly behind them. Mack glanced quickly at Helen, who caught her staring. Turning away before Helen could see the blush on her face, Mack gave her sister an annoyed look.

"What?"

"Didn't you hear anything I said?"

"No," Mackenzie mumbled as she rubbed her side. Olivia laughed harder and tossed a tomato to her sister.

"You can start with that…"

Mackenzie just grumbled. Brianna and Sol laughed along with their mom.

* * *

"That was delicious!" Helen sat back and smiled at Mackenzie.

"You should come every Friday from now on. That way we get feed every time…" Charlie said smugly.

"Says who?" Mack shot back teasingly. She leaned back and placed an arm on the back of Helen's chair. Helen looked from Mack to Charlie then back to Mack. She was an only child and never had many friends growing up so watching the easy banter flow from them was new to her and she found she liked it very much. She also enjoyed the warmth coming from Mackenzie, but that was a different matter all together.

"Says Helen. She totally kicked your a…"

"Language…" Brady interjected.

"…Butt." Everyone at the table laughed at that.

"No, no, no…she cheated. She distracted me…"

"And I'm to blame for that!" Helen said in mock shock. The laughter sounded again and Mack just winked and placed a quick kiss on Helen's cheek that got a chorus of 'awww' from everyone.

Brady smiled and asked, "What do you guys have planned for today?"

Looking down at her watch Mack saw that it was now 4:30pm. "Well, since it's late to do much…"

"Your fault…" Olivia, Charlie, Sol and Brianna said in unison.

Laughing, Mackenzie just covered her face. "Oh man…you're never gonna let me forget that, are you?" Everyone at the table, including baby Kayla, all shook their heads. "Great," mumbled Mack. Helen just laughed quietly beside her, as did Alex.

The conversations flowed as Helen and Brady started to gather the dishes up. Olivia and Mack began to discuss the plans for Helen's centre and what needed to be done. Sol and Alex debated over which superhero would win in a battle – Batman vs. Spiderman – and Charlie and Brianna talked about the latest gossip in Hollywood.

Helen was loading the dishwasher when she glanced at Mackenzie. What she saw took her breath away. Mackenzie, at some point, picked up Kayla and was making faces, getting a squeal of delight from her niece. Alex wandered over to her mom and started dancing around for the little girl, which won him a laugh. Kayla then reached out and grabbed Alex's face and planted a wet kiss on his face. The young boy laughed, as did his mom.

"She's amazing with those two." Helen turned to see Olivia standing next to her. The older Benson just looked intently at Helen. Embarrassed at getting caught, Helen busied herself with getting the dishwasher started.

"I've noticed. She's brilliant with children…" Helen said nervously. Olivia picked up on it and decided not to make it any more difficult on the woman.

"You two have been getting pretty close." She said lightly. Olivia saw Helen stiffen slightly.

"Is there a question somewhere?" Helen said coldly. As much as she enjoyed being with Mackenzie and her family, it didn't mean she had to get interrogated by her sister.

Holding her hands up, Olivia smiled crookedly. "Whoa! Easy Helen. It was just an observation, that's all."

Relaxing a bit but not letting her guard down just yet, Helen nodded. "I'm sorry…I didn't mean to snap at you."

"That's alright." Olivia studied her for a moment then smiled. "I was going to give you the riot act but I guess it's pointless now..."

Helen arched a fine eyebrow, "and why's that?" Olivia's smile was infectious, not like Mackenzie's though, but Helen couldn't help but smile as well.

"I was worried that my sister was getting in over her head," Liv said with a wink. Helen blushed but laughed quietly.

"What do you mean by that?" They heard a loud squeal coming from Kayla. Mack was holding her up in the air and making funny noises. Helen felt her heart stop at the sight of the two of them and felt a painful longing in her heart.

It didn't go unnoticed by the former detective. "You have any plans of having a few of your own?"

Helen turned and gave Olivia a confused look. Liv gently smiled at the other woman. "Whatever happened in your past…the pain…I know it's none of my business. All I'm saying is that if you're planning on being more involved with my sister, be honest with her. She deserves that much…and so do you."

Helen was stunned. Olivia reached out and engulfed Helen in a hug.

"If you need anything, you let me know."

Just then, Mackenzie was standing there with a jealous look in her eye.

Clearing her throat and separating herself from Helen, Olivia threw the dishtowel at her sister, "make yourself useful, will ya!"

She smiled at Helen then left to find her wife. Mack watched her sister go then looked at Helen. She closed the distance and wrapped her arms around Helen.

"You alright?" She said quietly. Helen was a little startled at the jealousy she saw in her eyes a few moments ago. Nodding Helen placed her hands on Mack's chest.

"What were you guys talking about?" Smiling, Helen placed a soft kiss on Mack's lips and she felt her relax.

"You…" Helen said quietly.

Smiling that crooked smile, Mack tightened her hold on Helen. "Yeah? Care to share?"

Rubbing her nose with Mack's, Helen shook her head. "Tonight," she said seductively. Winking, Mack slid her hands down to Helen's rear end and gently squeezed. Helen let out a little yelp and playfully swatted Mack's shoulder.

"HEY! STOP GETTING SO DAMN FRISKY IN THERE! MOM AND MAMA ARE STILL IN THE ROOM!" Charlie yelled which got her a look from Brady and a nudge from Olivia.

Glancing at them, Mack whispered in Helen's ear, "We're caught." Helen melted in Mackenzie's arms and smiled. With one last quick kiss, they made their way to the rest of the group.

* * *

That evening, Helen, Mack and Alex all sat around the TV and watched the latest Harry Potter movie. Although Alex had seen this movie a million times, he never got tired of it. With eyes wide, Alex was mesmerized.

_Hermione Granger__: You've done it, Neville! You've found the Room of Requirement!  
Ron Weasley: The what?  
Hermione Granger: It's also known as the Come and Go Room. The Room of Requirement only appears when a person has real need of it, and is always equipped with the seeker's needs.  
Ron Weasley: So, say you really needed a toilet...  
Hermione Granger: Charming, Ronald. But yes, that is the general idea.  
Harry Potter: It's brilliant! It's like Hogwarts wants us to fight back!_

Helen and Mack sat on the sofa with a smile on their faces. Alex was completely taken with the movie. Mackenzie had a deep suspicion that Alex often saw himself in Harry Potter – both lost their parents; both went through terrible circumstances and of course they both had loyal friends. But through it all, both turned out just fine.

Mack had her arm around Helen who rested her head on Mack's shoulder. They watched as Alex's eyes followed Harry and his friends across the screen.

"Ok Bud, time for bed…"

Alex's head snapped around. "But _mom_…" the young boy whined. Mack was about to say something when she felt Helen's hand on her thigh. Quickly glancing over, she saw Helen slightly shake her head and backed off.

"Young man…" Helen started slowly. Alex sighed and slumped his shoulders in defeat.

"I know," he said miserably. Mackenzie couldn't believe it – the woman has a gift!

Reaching out and taking Alex into her arms, Helen picked him up and kissed the top of his head. Alex in return, wrapped his arms around her neck looked sadly at Helen.

"I promise, tomorrow we can finish off where we left off. But it's time for you and Harry Potter to be off to bed. Ok?" Nodding unhappily, Alex fiddled with the necklace that was around Helen's neck.

Smiling softly, Helen held him close. "Would you like mummy to tuck you in?" The past week, Helen had gotten herself acquainted with Alex's bedtime routine. She felt lucky to witness the love Mackenzie had for Alex and vice versa - Alex simply adored his mum.

"Can you tuck me in too?" Alex asked solemnly. Helen was taken aback slightly by the simple request. The simple, yet precious, task of tucking in Alex was reserved for Mackenzie only, so to have been asked to be involved was priceless.

Helen was speechless. She managed to nod and hugged Alex tight. The little boy placed his hands gently on the sides of her face and looked intently at Helen. "How come you're crying?"

Helen smiled and she felt Mack stand behind her, slid her arms around her waist and held her close. "I'm just very happy you asked me to tuck you in…"

"Oh..." Alex said. Helen smiled gently as did Mack.

"Ok partner, its time to hit the sack. Helen and I will tuck you," Mack said quietly. She placed a soft kiss on Helen's temple then gently guided them to Alex's bedroom. Helen gently placed the young boy into his bed and he settled in comfortably. Alex first held out his arms for his mama who leaned down and gave him a big hug and a kiss.

Helen stood back but again was rendered speechless as Alex held out his tiny arms for her. She knelt down so it would be easier for both them to wrap their arms around each other. Helen closed her eyes as she felt his tiny arms around her neck and she held him tightly. He leaned back slightly and placed a loving kiss on Helen's cheeks.

Mackenzie watched as her son hugged Helen tight. Her heart swelled at the sight of her son and Helen together. It was in image she would remember for a lifetime.

Helen and Alex pulled back. They smiled at each other and Helen brushed away a lock of hair that fell into Alex's eyes.

"Goodnight sweetheart. Sweet dreams," Helen spoke softly. Alex grinned sleepily and nodded.

"You too Helen…" said the little boy as he yawned. Rubbing his eyes Alex turned to his mommy, "love you mama. See you in the morning…"

Smiling at her son, Mack fixed his blanket and kissed his forehead. "See you in the morning, Bud," she whispered but it was useless. Alex was fast asleep.

Wrapping their arms around one another, the two women stood and watched Alex for a few minutes longer before Mack whispered, "Let's go to bed."

They quietly wandered through out the loft picking up toys and locking the windows and door. They then headed for Mack's room hand in hand. There they undressed each other and climbed into bed.

Helen held on to Mackenzie's arms as they wrapped themselves around her. Mack lightly kissed Helen's bare shoulder then inhaled the Scot's subtle perfume.

"He's so precious…" Helen said quietly. She lovingly stroked Mackenzie's arm as they cuddled closely to each other.

"Yeah, he is…" Mackenzie said quietly. She had a feeling that whatever her sister said earlier shook the other woman.

"You were wonderful with Kayla. Alex idolizes you…Kayla and the others…they adore you…"

"I'm crazy about them too." They fell silent, both listening to the other's soft breathing. They remained that way for moment. Helen wasn't sure where to start.

"Helen?"

Inhaling, Helen nervously played with Mack's fingers and as she did, her eyes fell upon her own ring finger. She still wore the wedding band that Nikki had placed on her finger years before and traced the simple ring with a shaking finger.

"This was the life I was supposed to have…" Helen finally spoke. Her voice was soft. Mackenzie held her tighter giving her silent support. Mack quietly waited for Helen to continue giving her all the space and time she needed.

"We kept putting it off – having kids, I mean. We were so involved with our work…we wanted to make sure everything was taken care of first that we put off having a family…'next year' I would always say…then it was too late…" Helen broke off. She remembered coming home that afternoon after getting a worrying phone call from Nikki.

"_How'd it go, Love?" Helen asked. Nikki had finally gone and seen the doctor about her migraines. Hopefully Dr. Robinson was able to give her something stronger then Tylenol._

_Nikki was quiet. Tears had fallen down her face the moment she heard Helen's voice on the other line. 'How do I tell her?' Nikki thought._

"_Babe? What is it?" Helen was beginning to worry._

"_Come home…please, come home…" Nikki said desperately. She needed her wife's arms around her. _

"_I'm coming Love…hang on…"_

Helen shut her eyes tightly against the memory of that day and fought back the tears that threatened to fall. She didn't cry when her mother had died, nor did she cry at Nikki's funeral. She wasn't going to start now.

Hearing the pain in her voice, Mackenzie scooted closer and gathered Helen up in her arms. She softly murmured words of comfort against Helen's shoulder. Mack felt helpless knowing that there was nothing she could do for the beautiful Scot.

"You can still have the life you want. Kids…a wonderful job…a wife…" Mackenzie said softly. A part of her wanted to be the one that Helen turned to in the end, the one that would hold her…she wanted to be her wife…

_Whoa! Time out! Wife? Where'd that come from? _Mack thought frantically. Oddly enough, the idea didn't frighten Mackenzie that much.

Shaking her head, Helen couldn't bring herself to want another woman or the life she had planned with Nikki.

"No…I can't…" Although the tears didn't fall, Helen shook with the pain of losing her hope, her dreams…her wife. Mackenzie just held her not know what else to do.

"It's ok sweetheart…it's alright…I've got you…" Mackenzie whispered over and over. Slowly, Helen finally relaxed in Mackenzie's embrace. She must have fallen asleep because her breathing became normal. Mack on the other hand was wide-awake. She laid there listing to Helen's soft breathing and gently caressing her arm.

Helen would be fully committed to Nikki for the rest of her life even if she were with someone else.

_Nikki, you are one lucky woman…_Mack thought.

Mack stayed up half the night with thoughts running through her mind. It was well past 1 am before she finally drifted of to sleep, her arms still wrapped tightly around Helen.

_

* * *

_

Sunday 8:30 am

"Mmmm…" Helen stretched then reached next to her. The space next to her was cold and empty. One eye popped open then the other as she realized she was alone in bed. Looking around the room, she finally got a chance to see it for the first time.

Like the loft itself, it had exposed bricks with a couple of wooden beams. A few pictures were on the wall and on the shelves – mostly of Alex and the family. There were drawings obviously from Alex and a few from other children. There was a small bookshelf as well packed with an assortment of titles.

Smiling, Helen gingerly got up and grabbed Mack's discarded t-shirt and slipped it on. Wandering around the room she noticed that there were picture frames hidden in a corner of the room of what looked to be of a diploma and a few awards.

_Typical macho woman…_Helen thought with a laugh. As she leafed through the various frames, she came across a picture of an angel that resembled Olivia. Helen picked it up to look at it more closely. It had been drawn a few years ago and wondered who had drawn such a beautiful portrait.

"I was 14 when I did that…"

Startled, the plastic frame fell from Helen's fingers and landed on her bare foot. Wincing and quickly grabbing her foot, Helen rubbed the spot the where the frame had landed. In a blink of an eye, Mackenzie had Helen in her arms and carried her to the bed. Mackenzie didn't let her go once she was seated. Instead, Mack gently placed Helen on her lap and inspected her foot.

"I'm sorry…I didn't mean to scare you…" Mack said sadly. She avoided looking at Helen when she said it, keeping her self occupied by examining her foot. Helen immediately knew something was wrong. Normally, Mack was unable to keep her hands to herself, all of a sudden; she was avoiding Helen's eyes.

"You don't feel any pain?" Mack continued to poke and prod her foot. Helen wondered what happened to drastically change.

"Mack?" Helen asked softly.

"You're sure you're not in any pain?" Mack still avoided Helen's gaze, which only worried the Scot even more. Helen placed her hand on the back of Mackenzie's neck trying to get Mack's attention. Once again, Mack didn't make eye contact.

"I'll…uh…I'll go get some ice. Just in case…" Mack was about to get up, still avoiding Helen's eyes, when Helen stopped her by placing a hand on her chest.

Mack sat still, eyes to the ground.

"Mackenzie?" Helen whispered. She waited for a second before she reached out and took hold of Mack's chin.

Mackenzie shut her eyes just as her face met Helen's. She felt Helen gently place her hands on either side of her face.

"Open your eyes Mackenzie…please…" she quietly begged. Mack didn't want to but she didn't have a choice. She opened her eyes slowly and looked at Helen.

Helen's eyes widened. She saw that Mackenzie's eyes were red as if she had been crying.

"What's wrong?" Helen asked softly. She wondered what could have made her strong detective reduced to tears. She couldn't understand why Mack would want to hide from her.

Shaking her head and moving away from Helen, Mack looked away and mumbled, "nothing. Don't' worry about it…doesn't matter," Mack lifted Helen off of her lap and gently placed her back on the bed. Mackenzie was about to turn to go when Helen reached out and grabbed her arm.

"Tell me…" she pleaded with Mack. She wanted to make whatever it was better. Sighing, Mackenzie turned around and hung her head. The sight made Helen's heart ache. Gently tugging on her arm, Mack sat down beside Helen.

Taking a breath, Mack slowly spoke. "I was thinking about what you said last night…" Finally facing Helen, Mack reached out and took hold of Helen's hands and she looked down at them. For the first time, Mackenzie noticed the wedding ring still on Helen's finger. A new wave of tears rushed to the surface and she had to clench her jaw from crying out.

"I honestly wish I could undo what happened to you and your wife. But Helen, you can't just give up…you can't give up what you've been dreaming of…"

Helen shook her head. "You don't understand…"

"No, I don't understand. But I want to try…" Mack said desperately. Within a week of knowing her, Helen had somehow woven her way into Mackenzie's life and heart. Life was a little bearable since she had met Helen and Mack didn't want it to end.

Again Helen shook her head. "Why not? What are you afraid of?" Mackenzie asked raggedly. She cupped Helen's face and searched it.

"_Please_…please don't ask more from me…_please_…" Helen begged. "Can't we just enjoy what we have right now?"

Gathering Helen in her arms, Mackenzie nodded. "Alright sweetheart…it's alright. I won't ask…" Helen buried her face in Mackenzie's shoulder. "You're all I need, honey…" Mack whispered over and over again. Like last night, she felt Helen tremble.

They held onto each other as if they were the other's only lifelines. After moment Mackenzie pulled back and glanced down at Helen.

"As long as you're here…with me…this is the life you were supposed to have. For as long as you want it…we'll be here," Mackenzie said solemnly. She moved to cup Helen's beautiful face, her thumbs lightly caressing Helen's lower lip.

"When you're ready, I'll be here…" Mackenzie whispered before she bent her head and kissed Helen deeply. Helen was moved by the raw emotion Mackenzie had just shown.

Nikki had never been one to get soppy about her emotions, preferring to keep them under lock and key. Only on one occasion did she do that. Helen still had that love letter tucked away in her favourite book – _Sophie's World_.

Moaning, Helen's hands found their way into Mackenzie's hair. Mack's hands slid down to her waist and held her close. The kiss deepened even more, leaving both women trembling. Breaking the kiss and breathing heavily, Mack rested her forehead against Helen's.

The thumping of 8-year-old feet against hard wood floor broke the quiet cocoon they wrapped themselves in. Sighing, Mackenzie and Helen headed for the kitchen. Mack wrapped an arm around Helen's shoulder and Helen had hers around Mack's waist.

Helen and Mack, by unspoken agreement, pushed the conversation to the back of their minds and went on about their day as if nothing happened, for Alex's sake. They concentrated on the day ahead of them.

Neither of them said anything. Both knew that from that point on, their relationship had shifted. As they sat and listened to Alex, they wondered how they were going to make this work.

Mackenzie glanced at Helen and slowly reached out and placed her hand on top of Helen's and gently squeezed. Helen looked at Mack and smiled softly.

Yes…things were going to be very different…


	11. Past Forgotten

I'm still here. It's been a busy few weeks. In about a week (cross your fingers), I'll be a new auntie...YIPPY!

Anywho, I don't own anything...except for Mack, Brady, Alex, Sol, Brianna, Charlie and Kayla. The rest belong to their repective owners.

* * *

Past Forgotten

Sunday morning came and went all too soon. They spent most of the time feeling out the new boundaries of their changed relationship. It was all too new to the both of them and neither was too sure how to proceed.

Throughout the day they stole quiet glances and shared chaste kisses. They quickly fell into a routine of taking care of Alex and the chores around both lofts. Helen was the master of getting Alex to behave while Mack was the designated playmate and cook.

Alex seemed to have changed as well. He became more of a chatterbox then before and laughed at the smallest of things and he was always on the move. Mack had never seen this side of her son and found she liked what she saw and heard.

The three of them lounged about the loft. "Mama? Can I have dragons at my birthday party?" Alex had slowed down a bit as he sat in between Helen and his mama. He loved having Helen around and having her around his mama. She smiled more, when Helen was around.

Looking down at the little boy, Helen smiled curiously. "Dragons?" Alex nodded. "May I ask when you birthday is?" Alex smiled brightly.

"Uh-oh…" Helen heard Mackenzie mumble under her breath. Helen raised a questioning brow but was interrupted by Alex who had scrambled to his knees and was now rattling off various things and ticking them off his tiny fingers.

"It's next week. I'm gonna be 9 then. I asked mama if I could have dragons and wizards at my party. It's a Harry Potter party, you know, like Harry Potter…"

"_Ahhh_…I get it now…" then turning to Mack, "why didn't you tell me his birthday was coming up?" Helen reached out and rested a hand on Mackenzie's thigh.

"Yeah, mama? Why didn't you?" chimed Alex. He had a silly smile on his little face.

"Because…" Mack started to say then quickly reached out and grabbed Alex and flung him into the air. The little boy squealed with laughter as Helen made a run for it as Mack set Alex down.

"Oh no you don't!" Alex and Mack darted in the same direction. Mackenzie caught up with Helen first and swiftly grabbed her around the waist with on strong arm and dragged her to her. Both were out of breath and Helen was flushed against Mack. Instead of pulling away like the time in the park, Mack slowly brought her head closer to Helen's and lightly kissed her.

Helen's hands were caught in between them and slid up Mackenzie's chest. They rested right on top of Mack's breasts and she slowly messaged them drawing out a low moan from tall brunette. Helen smiled shamelessly and moved her hips against Mack's.

Mackenzie had just closed her eyes and was pressing herself closer to Helen when Alex came running and tackled their legs. Mackenzie had to hold on to Helen as she saw her lose her footing.

"Slow down raging bull!" Mackenzie yelped. Alex was laughing and having the time of his life. He was, literally, climbing his mama's leg wanting to be picked up. Groaning in disappointment at having to let Helen go, Mackenzie reached down and picked up her son. Helen smiled and wrapped her arms around Mackenzie's waist, wanting to be close to her.

The three of them stood there and for a moment, Mack and Helen got a glimpse of what could have been if their lives had been different.

Alex started to squirm in his mama's arms. "Mommy…I have to go pee…" closing her eyes in embarrassment, Mack just shook her head. She felt Helen shaking, and she saw that Helen had buried her face in the crook of her neck and was trying hard not to burst out laughing.

Struggling not to laugh, Mack set her son down and he took off for the bathroom. Helen, unable to hold back anymore, burst out laughing. Mackenzie joined in as well. It was several minutes before they were able to get a handle on themselves.

Helen was the first to regain some sort of composure. She wiped the tears from her eyes and rubbed her sore stomach. "Oh my…that's one way of killing the mood!"

Reaching out with a smile on her face, Mack placed her hand on Helen's stomach and gently soothed the sore muscles. Her other hand slid around Helen's waist and drew her near. Helen rested her head on Mack's shoulder and closed her eyes enjoying Mackenzie's hands on her.

"You ok, Ace?" Mackenzie whispered. She now wrapped both arms around the tiny Scot. Helen looked up at the nickname and smiled lovingly. Mack leaned down once more and placed her lips over Helen's. What started out as gentle and warm became urgent and hot.

Velvet tongues danced and explored as hands roamed every soft curve and hard muscle. They were lost in each other that neither heard the phone ringing. Mack moved them so Helen was now pressed against a wall and had slipped a strong thigh between her legs. Helen was clinging to Mackenzie's shoulders as her warm lips found the delicate spot on her throat.

Moaning deeply in her throat, Helen arched against Mack's thigh and let out a gasp. Mack's lips found Helen's once more and again they were lost in each other.

"MAMA! AUNT BRADY AND OLLIE ARE COMING IN A FEW MINUTES!" Alex yelled, from the living room. When his Mama and Helen hadn't come out from her room, he was smart enough to know not to go barging in there again. And when the phone kept ringing, he figured he'd better answer it before Aunt Ollie came busting down here.

In the room, Helen and Mack broke apart. They stood there for a second before Helen choked back a laugh. Rolling her eyes but unable to hide her grin, Mackenzie looked away to keep from laughing along with Helen.

"Tonight…this time no interruptions…"

Helen took one look at Mack's face and burst out laughing. Throwing her hands in the air with a smile, Mack shook her head.

"That's it! I give up!" Turning and marching off to the living room, Mack didn't look back. Helen followed closely behind, still laughing.

"I'm sorry! Really!" But Helen couldn't stop the laughter. "I promise no laughing!" Mackenzie glanced behind her; unconvinced which only made Helen laugh harder.

* * *

Helen and Brady sat on the couch with there legs tucked underneath them. They watched as Sol, Brianna and Alex ran after each other laughing and screaming. Charlie was sitting in the recliner with Kayla, who had taken a keen interest in Charlie's earrings.

Brady glanced at her wife; who was in deep conversation in the kitchen with Mack. Olivia caught sight of Brady and winked at her wife before resuming her conversation. Helen looked on with fondness and stole a glance at Mackenzie who was staring intently at her.

Helen smiled timidly at Mack who gave her a wink and flashed her that cocky smile she loved.

"So…you know of a place where I can get a dragon?" Helen asked distractedly.

Brady looked up to see Helen still staring dreamily at Mack and covered her mouth to hide her smile. Clearing her throat, Brady smiled gently when she saw Helen blush.

"Those Benson women have a way of doing that to you, don't they?" They laughed quietly.

The conversation between the two women flowed freely. Helen found out that Brady was born in Scotland but raised here in New York City. Her older brother had moved to London when he was offered a job with Scotland Yard.

"Yeah?" Brady nodded proudly. "What unit does he work in?" Helen was genuinely curious.

Brady smiled brightly, "last I heard he was in SCD5…"

"Child Abuse Investigations?" Helen looked over at Mack and Olivia then turned back. "So _that's_ where it comes from?" Brady nodded and both women shared a small laugh.

"He's Chief Inspector. It's been tough for him to come back, though…" A sad look in her eye made Helen reach out and rest a hand on Brady's. The other woman looked up and smiled sadly.

"The last time he was here, was about a year and a half ago. The kids miss him…_I_ miss him," Brady whispered. Helen was about to offer her support when Brady blinked back her tears, straightened herself up and smiled.

"Well…what's this about a dragon?" Helen was a bit startled but quickly recovered.

"Well…" she waited as the three young children came barrelling into the room only to speed off into another direction. "Well, Alex's birthday is coming up and he was asking for a dragon…"

"Let me guess, that one…" Brady jerked her thumb at Mackenzie, "…over there hasn't done a thing yet? Am I right?" Brady finished with a smile. Helen nodded.

Reaching out and patting Helen's hand, Brady's smile turned mischievous. "Don't you worry my dear. You and me will have this party together in no time. Now, has Alex mentioned anything about gifts or theme's that might help us?"

Helen smiled and nodded. The two began to make a mental list of ideas and made plans to go shopping sometime that week to get their supplies.

* * *

As Sunday evening rolled around, Brady, Olivia and their crazy brood decided to head on home. Mack slid her arms around Helen's waist as they said good-bye.

"You had good time?" Mack asked quietly. They slowly made their way back into the loft. They picked up toys as they went and tidied up the kitchen table. Alex had been worn out and was asleep in his bed.

Helen nodded and smiled gently. She fell onto the couch completely tired out from all the excitement from their day. Mackenzie smiled as she sat down next to Helen. Instinctively, Helen turned and leaned into Mack who gathered her into her arms and leaned back farther into the couch and they both stretched their tired legs out.

"What were you ladies talking about?"

Smiling, Helen just closed her eyes and inhaled the husky scent of Mackenzie. "Now Yankee, you know I possibly couldn't comment on that." The grin she gave Mack melted her insides. Mackenzie chuckled and gave Helen a small squeeze.

"Ok, ok…its top secret. I got it. So…what were you guys talking about?" Mack asked cheekily. Helen laughed at Mack's tone. Turning around, Helen nuzzled her nose against Mack's and kissed her softly.

"Nope…not gonna happen, Yankee," Helen replied gently. She laughed softly as she saw the pout that Mack gave her and gave her a quick kiss before she rested her head on Mackenzie's chest. The loud thump of her heart calmed Helen's nerves. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply.

"What is it?" Mack asked tenderly as she soothed the muscles in Helen's back. The other women just tucked herself closer into Mackenzie's embrace. Mack kissed the top of Helen's head and waited patiently.

"I was just thinking…" Helen said softly.

"About?"

"You and your sister. You two are pretty close…"

"Yeah…we are…what did you want to know?" Mackenzie buried her face in Helen's hair and kissed the top of her head. She felt Helen smile as she buried her face in Mack's chest. Mack felt Helen's lips through her t-shirt and inhaled sharply at the sensations it brought out of her.

"Helen…?" Mack said breathlessly. If she didn't stop, they'd both be naked in two seconds and she knew something was on Helen's mind. Helen kissed Mack's chest one more time then raised her head and rested her chin on Mackenzie's chest and smiled.

"What was it like growing up with an older sister?"

"I'm not sure either…" Mack smiled at Helen's confused look. "We're half sisters. We found each other about 4 years ago…well actually, she found me…" Helen chuckled at how adorable Mack was.

"I take it you were an only child too?"

Nodding, Helen always envied those that had a sibling. "Didn't have many friends either…"

"What? I don't believe you…"

"It's true. The kids thought it would be fun bullying the preacher's kid…"

Mackenzie didn't like the thought of anyone hurting Helen. It must have shown on her face because Helen raised herself high enough to plant a comforting kiss on Mack's lips.

"No worries, my bird. I was a feisty little one. Although my father never approved…"

"Doesn't surprise me one bit," Mackenzie said with a loving smile. She could just picture a pint-size version of Helen taking on a group of bullies.

"What were your parents like?" Mack asked curiously. She felt Helen stiffen in her arms. "You don't have to answer," she said gently. Mack didn't want to push her if she wasn't willing to talk about them. God knows she has her own secrets she kept locked away.

Taking a deep breath, Helen wanted to share this part of her life with Mackenzie. She wasn't sure why, though.

"My mother died when I was seven…" Helen said quietly.

"I'm sorry…" Mack felt inadequate. Losing a parent so young like that must have been devastating for Helen. "What was she like?"

"She was beautiful…always had a smile on her face. She always had a way of making me feel safe…" Mack could hear the smile in Helen's voice.

"She must have been a remarkable woman," She always envied those that had parents like Helen's mother. This only made Mack wonder, even more, what she had done wrong to miss out on a mother like that.

"She was…she always smelled like a fresh garden…" Helen said almost child like as if she were remembering a happier time.

"I take it she was a gardener?"

Nodding, Helen smiled up at Mack. "I think that's what attracted me to Nikki…" Helen faltered slightly at the mention of her deceased wife. Mackenzie immediately picked up on it and quickly changed subjects.

"What about your dad?" Mack regretted asking her that. Helen's face became a mixture of coolness and sadness. "I'm sorry…it's been a long day and you must be tired…" Mack mumbled, as she was getting ready to push herself into a sitting position.

Helen sat up and straddled Mack preventing her from going anywhere. Mack sat still, waiting for Helen to make the next move.

"He was a hard man," she said very softly. Something about the way Helen said it made Mackenzie reach out and take Helen in her arms. "After mother died…he became colder. I think mother's death hurt him more then he would have ever admitted...never approved of anything I did. Nothing…I tried _so_ hard to make him proud of me…"

Helen sat there looking so sad…so lost. It broke Mackenzie's heart to see her like that. Slowly, Mackenzie sat up and wrapped her arms around Helen's waist and softly placed a kiss on her cheek.

"I'm so sorry sweetheart. You deserve so much better…" she whispered. Helen closed her eyes and rested her forehead against Mack's. Neither spoke, they just held each other. Mackenzie whispered periodically, words of comfort and support. She turned her face upwards and gently kissed Helen's lips.

Smiling sheepishly, Mackenzie nuzzled Helen's nose. "It makes you feel any better; I don't even know who my father is. Heck, I don't even know where my step-father is either…"

Helen glanced down at Mackenzie. _She's not kidding…she really doesn't know…_"How can you not know either of them?"

Sighing, Mackenzie moved so she was now sitting with her back against the couch and Helen still straddling her. She leaned back and Helen went with her getting comfortable on her chest.

Helen rested her head on her hand as she placed an elbow closely beside Mackenzie's head and waited.

"My mother and Olivia's mom were raped," Mackenzie spoke quietly. It had been a long time since she said that out loud to anyone. Helen just placed a supporting hand on Mack's chest. Smiling sadly, Mack gazed into Helen's emerald eyes.

"All I know about my biological father is that he worked for some company repairing fridges…or something like that. They fixed big commercial fridges and he was one of the guys that were called to the universities to fix them. I guess that's where he saw Liv's mom as well as mine…"

"And what about your step-father?"

"Him? I don't know…there's not much I really remember of him."

"What do you remember then? Unless he was like you mother…"

Mackenzie let out a snort. Helen just looked on curiously. "Dad? No way. He was the complete opposite of her. I guess she was…alright before the rape but after…" Mack took deep breath. "He was…he did his best to be a good father considering what he had to work with."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Come on Helen…he had a crazy wife and a bastard kid that wasn't even his…" she said roughly.

Helen was appalled by what Mackenzie just said. She was also angry that Mack would even think that way. Mackenzie was slow in trying to rectify her stupidity because Helen ripped into her.

"Helen…" she said slowly.

"Mackenzie Benson! Do you have bloody rocks in your head? I don't believe for one bloody second that your step – father believed that crap you're spewing out…that is utter and total crap!" Helen scrambled off of Mack. She wasn't about to sit and listen to any more bullshit from her.

Mack was terrified that Helen would leave completely. She reached out quickly and pulled Helen back. She came toppling over Mack's lap and gave a yelp as Mackenzie climbed on top of her to prevent her from leaving.

"Helen! Please! Stop sweetheart! You're going to hurt yourself…_Helen!_"

Helen pushed and almost got a clean shot as she kneed Mack in the stomach. Mackenzie moved just in time when she felt Helen's knee slide in between her legs and ended up with a knee to the stomach instead. The air got knocked out of her and was thrown off balance. This was all Helen needed - this time she didn't miss her target the second time.

She vaguely heard Mackenzie cry out in pain. Pushing Mackenzie off of her, Helen heard a loud thud as Mack fell off of the couch and hit the ground below. She turned and saw that Mack was lying on her back breathing heavily. Her face was red and she was wincing in pain.

"Are you alright!" Helen hadn't meant to hurt Mack. She had reacted out of instinct. She reached out and placed a hand on Mack's shoulder.

Nodding wordlessly Mackenzie winced again as she tried to move her legs. "Aside from being unable to have children anymore, I'm just dandy…" she wheezed. For a tiny woman, Helen was one hell of a spitfire.

Helen felt terrible. And terrified that she did permanent damage. She slid of the couch and carefully straddled Mackenzie. "Are sure you're all right? God! I'm so sorry!" She ran her hands up and down the length of Mack's body checking for broken bones.

Mackenzie had to shut her eyes at Helen's hands roaming her body. She almost cried out as Helen's rear end kept rubbing Mack's sensitive spot. Instead, Mack choked back a moan and clenched her jaw. Looking up sharply, Helen saw Mackenzie wince.

"Where does it hurt?" Helen begun to wiggle her way further down Mack's body inspecting ever inch of her. Unbeknownst to Helen, it was her every move that was hurting Mack, but for completely different reasons.

"Sweetheart…please…you gotta stop…" Mack choked out and held Helen in place. She was breathing hard and she was flushed with desire. She couldn't help her body's reaction to Helen. "I'm ok…really…"

Realizing why Mack was so red and out of breathe, Helen's eyes slightly widened and she quickly scrambled off of her. She opted to kneel closely to Mack instead, that way eliminating any temptation they might have.

Carefully pushing herself up into a sitting position, Mackenzie wearily eyed Helen. The other woman was avoiding her eyes.

The trained cop recognized the signs and Mack quickly switched modes.

"When did it happen, Helen?" Mack asked gently. Helen stiffened as she sat on the floor. Mackenzie sat up straighter and slowly inched herself closer. The cop part of her wanted to fix it, wanted to protect Helen. But the other parts of her wanted blood…preferably, the blood of the one that had hurt Helen.

"Helen?" she said as gently as she could. She felt the beast inside of her come alive at the thought of Helen being hurt. She'd deal with that later but what mattered most was Helen.

Helen lifted her head and she swallowed and saw the look of rage in Mackenzie's eyes. Normally, it would have frightened her but it comforted her instead.

"I wasn't the Wing Governor at the time. I was just there for the Lifer's Group I started…" Helen had inched her way closer to Mack who now held her very gently in her arms. It was difficult talking about it even with Nikki.

That was a bit of a sore spot for them. Nikki, after her experience with Trish, had wanted Helen to talk about it. They would argue about it constantly. She knew that Nikki meant well, but she just wasn't ready. Not back then anyways.

But Helen knew, with out a doubt, that Mackenzie wouldn't push her if she wasn't ready. That was a small comfort in some ways. It also gave her the strength and courage to do it now.

Helen rested her head on Mackenzie's strong shoulder. She felt soft fingers caress her arm as the two sat side by side with their legs crossed Indian style.

"One of our P.O.'s…principle officers, that is, was stabbed and I was responsible for the investigation. Anyways, that P.O. and I never got along. I had a deep suspicion that he was dirty from the get go, but I just couldn't find anything on him. He'd always find a way of weaselling his way out of trouble. One of the inmates that he'd been having a relationship with, and I use that term very loosely, had gutted him one night…"

"Wait a sec…that's illegal…" Helen gave Mackenzie a knowing look. "I know, it happens all the time. But I know you must have had something on him if you had a suspicion…"

"You're forgetting, HMP Larkhall was run by the old boys club…"

Finally realizing, Mackenzie nodded. "Which stone walls every attempt at firing his ass. I get it now…"

"Good. Now be quiet. I was called into the prison to try and talk the prisoner into letting the P.O. go - at least let the medics and doctor get to him. To make a long story short, she finally opened up and we got the officer to the hospital in time. The prisoner was accusing Fenner of coming into her room to rape her.

"As much as I disliked this particular prisoner, I believed her. Now you have to remember, this prisoner and this P.O. were having more then just a sexual relationship together. But as much as I tried to find evidence or any kind of loophole to hang the bloody bastard, I couldn't find any. He got away with it again."

Helen sighed. She tried hard to find anything to get Fenner. It was no use though. He could get away with killing the devil himself, if he wanted to.

Mackenzie just sat and listened. She wasn't like this Fenner guy at all. As she kept listening, her rage kept on building and building. It was something she was going to have to take care of alone – away from Helen and Alex. Mack was snapped back to reality as Helen spoke.

"I saw him in the P.O's lounge. He didn't seem right since he came back to work. I told him that he was in the clear and everything would be taken care of. I really don't know what happened next…I remember asking for a file from him…then the next…I…he…he had me pinned against the…the table…"

Helen shut her eyes and took a deep breath. Heart was beating wildly and she unconsciously clenched her fists. Mackenzie slowly but ever so gently reached out and placed her hand over Helen's.

She whispered softly trying to sooth Helen. "It's alright sweetheart. I'm here. We can stop now…you don't have to do this…"

With her eyes still closed, Helen shook her head. "I have to do this," she whispered raggedly. Nodding, Mack slowly slid her arms around Helen but kept her grip loose so she wouldn't feel trapped.

She watched as Helen inhaled deeply and swallowed nervously. "He…he backed me up against the table and his hand…went between my…my thighs…" Helen turned and buried her face in Mackenzie's neck. "I just froze…I didn't know what to do…"

Mack held her quietly, gently whispering soothing words to her. All Mackenzie's rage was tempered by this woman's quiet strength.

Gradually, Helen stopped shaking. They sat there with there arms still around each other. It had gotten late but neither was tired. Mackenzie gathered Helen in her arms and gently placed her securely in her lap and leaned back against the couch.

Mackenzie inhaled deeply. "Thank you," Helen whispered into the night. She felt Mack's lips on the top of her head and closed her eyes.

"For what?" Mack whispered.

"For letting me get through that."

Smiling, Mack gave her squeeze. "Just doing my job." Helen laughed quietly. Again, both were quiet. Then Helen spoke softly.

"Yankee?" Mack smiled at the use of her nickname.

"Hmmm?"

"What ever happened to your step-father?" Inhaling, Mack thought about it.

"The truth?" Helen nodded. "I'm not really sure." Helen raised her head and looked intently at Mackenzie.

Smiling sadly, Mackenzie explained. "I remember he used to get up early every morning. Come to think of it, I think he was a cop…"

"You _think_?"

"Hey now…I was a kid. 4 years old…anyways, I'd have to stand in the kitchen and wait for mother to tell what to do. I remember my dad would come into the kitchen and give my head a little pat when he walked by my. I guess it was his way of telling me he loved me. But he had to make sure mother wasn't looking."

"Was there any fond memories you had of him?" Helen lovingly rubbed Mack's chest. Mack closed her eyes and rested her head on the cushions. She loved the warmth Helen's hand was giving her.

"Yeah, I do. If I could last through what mother put me through…I'd be ok when my dad got home. Mother would have to stop when he got home…I was ok when he was home…" Mack's voice slightly broke as she spoke. She felt tears prickle her closed eyelids.

Helen stopped rubbing Mackenzie's chest when she heard her voice crack. Helen laid a soft hand against Mack's cheek and gently kissed it.

"Oh love, I'm so sorry…" Mack raised her head and shook it. She sniffed then cleared her throat.

"One day he got ready for work as usual. Mother had drifted off to sleep in the living room. Dad came into the kitchen and knelt down in front of me. I thought it was really odd – dad never did that…ever. But he just wrapped his arms around me and gave me a hug. Then he got his hat and coffee and walked out the door…"

Mackenzie didn't realize it, but she had begun to cry. Helen was frozen in place. She never would have imagined her strong detective could be so vulnerable. Her heart shattered to pieces as she watched the tears fall down Mack's face.

"Then what happened?" Helen asked softly.

"He just walked out the door. That was the last time I saw him…I waited and waited. He never came back. Mother was getting…agitated. She kept pacing up and down and coming into the kitchen and just standing over me. I'd never been so terrified in my life."

Helen never hated another human being as she hated Mackenzie's mother. Not even Jim Fenner. _If I ever meet the blasted woman…_Helen thought angrily.

"Things got from bad to horrible. It was like mother went from monster to evil re-incarnated…" Mackenzie finally realized that she was crying. But what took her breath away were the tears that were falling from Helen's face.

Reaching out and carefully as if Helen were a priceless china doll, Mack wiped away the tears.

"Why are you crying?" Mack asked still dazed by Helen's tears.

Helen cupped Mackenzie's face and gently caressed her cheeks with her thumb. "I'm crying for the little girl that you were…and for the woman that you've become."

The words hit Mack like a linebacker in a football came. Swallowing the emotions that threatened to spill out of her, Mackenzie just gazed into the most beautiful eyes she had ever seen.

"Please…don't waste your tears on me…" Mack quietly begged. It was true, she didn't deserve this wonderful woman's tears – she wasn't worth it.

Shaking her head stubbornly, Helen smiled tenderly. "There's no one I'd rather waste my tears on then you…"

"Why?"

Looking deep into Mackenzie's eyes and with all the emotions she held inside of her, Helen replied, "You're worth every tear drop."

Leaning down, Helen lightly kissed Mackenzie's soft lips. Mack had to close her eyes at how tenderly Helen kissed her. It was like kissing an angel. She never felt anything so exquisite. She never wanted it to end.

Finally lifting her head, Helen smiled lovingly at what she saw. Mackenzie's eyes were closed and had the most angelic expression Helen had ever seen. Helen untangled herself and got to her feet.

Mackenzie whimpered softly at the lost of warmth. Her eyes snapped open and stared curiously at Helen. Gently smiled and held out her hands. After helping Mack to her feet, the wrapped their arms around each other and quickly checked on Alex then made their way to Mack's room.

They climbed into bed still fully clothed. They laid their face to face, their arms and legs tangled with each other. They looked intently at each other as if memorizing the other's features. Mackenzie tried to express her gratitude but found her voice was gone.

Shaking her head Helen whispered, "Rest now." Nodding tiredly, Mack did as she was told. Helen soon followed suit.

Although they had made love before, this was the most intimate they had been with each other. Night wrapped them in its warm embrace. Sleep holding the monsters at bay.


	12. Monday, Monday

Ok dokeis! Sorry to keep you waitng. I was getting a bit frustrated with myself. I finally finished chapter 12. Hope it was worth the wait.

I don't anything from Shed/Dick Wolfe. Other characters are mine.

* * *

Monday, Monday

Mackenzie sat in her little office at home staring blankly at the computer screen. She stretched out the kinks in her shoulders and rubbed her tired eyes. She had been doing some research on the Brooklyn murders but was going nowhere fast.

Although she had been ordered off of the case, Chester had been keeping tabs on it, occasionally passing new info on to Mack – discreetly of course. _He might be a pain in my ass but he's one hell of a partner…_

Helen was out meeting some stiff's in suits regarding the centre and the progress of it. She promised Helen that she and Liv would finish the rest of the renovations today. And looking down at her watch, she noticed it was almost time to get going.

"You ready Alex?" Mack called out. She promised Alex that he could help with the renovations.

"_Mama, I'm gonna paint some pictures so Helen can put them on the wall at her centre. That way the girls won't feel so lonely…"_

Her son had such an innocent way about him. Mack prayed he would never lose that when he grew up. Sighing, she shut down the computer and locked up the files away in her filing cabinet and headed out into the living room.

She stared at the small mess of dishes that were still in the sink from Helen and Mack's early breakfast. She smiled at the memory of what it felt like to wake up to Helen Stewart next to her.

_Mack was the first to awaken and she had stared at the sleeping Scot. She was feeling something powerful grow inside of her every time she spent time with Helen. She didn't want to put a name to it – although in the back of her mind she knew exactly what it was. _

_She was falling in love with her. _

_The tidal wave hit her with such force, that if she weren't already lying down she would have fallen over. Mackenzie reached out and tenderly tucked a strand of hair behind Helen's ear. There were so many things she wanted to learn about the woman laying next to her. _

_The sad realization is that she'll never get to know this woman any further. Not when Helen hid behind her wedding ring. Yes, they've made love, yes they've gotten closer, but that didn't mean Helen was ready to give more. Mackenzie made her choice to get involved; now she had to deal with it. _

_Mackenzie stared at Helen's ring and then at her own hand that was next to hers and wondered what it felt like to have someone so committed to you, to know that whatever happens, you're not alone. But it was impossible; Mack would probably never experience that. _

_Helen begun to stir and Mackenzie quickly shoved those thoughts away. She took a deep breath to steady herself for when Helen opened her eyes. But it was useless – Helen's gaze always seemed to dismantle Mackenzie. _

_Helen smiled timidly and reached out with her hand and cupped Mackenzie's face. She lifted her head and kissed her softly._

"_Morning…" her thick Scottish accent heavy with sleep. Mackenzie smiled, loving the sound of it. Helen saw the look Mackenzie was giving her and raised her head again and kissed her much more deeply and pulled Mack on top of her. _

_It wasn't until a couple of hours later that the two finally emerged with satisfied grins on their faces. Mackenzie wandered into the kitchen while Helen went to wake Alex up. It's as though they had been doing this for years, which made Mack smile. _

"_What do you have planed for today?" Mackenzie asked as the two women relaxed on the couch. Helen had taken her accustomed spot next to Mackenzie and was slowly drawing patterns on Mack's stomach. _

_Helen groaned quietly and scrunched up her face. "I've got an 11:30 meeting with the committee and a bunch of suits. I have to go over the bloody budget again with them. They want me to run programs with virtually no money."_

_Smiling at how passionate she was about the whole thing, Mack gave her a peck on the cheek and winked at her. "You give them hell."_

_Helen laughed and felt herself relax. "Don't you have to get ready for work?" Helen was now playing with Mackenzie's fingers. She wasn't going to complain but Mackenzie hadn't been to work since she had gotten here which was about 2 weeks ago. _

_Helen felt Mackenzie stiffen. "What? What's wrong?" Helen asked curiously. Mackenzie was avoiding her eyes. Something wasn't right._

_Reaching out and gently grabbing a hold of Mackenzie's chin, Helen turned her face towards her. "What is it?"_

"_Don't worry about that…"_

_Shaking her head, Helen ignored what Mackenzie was saying. "You're hiding something from me."_

_Seeing no way out of this, Mackenzie lowered her eyes. "I was suspended…" _

_Eyes widened in surprise. "What! When? Why?" Helen sat up and grabbed Mackenzie's shoulders. "Say something!"_

_Running a hand through her hair, Mack sighed. "I got suspended for being a hot head and couldn't let go..."_

"_Could let what go? And when were you suspended?" When Mack didn't reply, Helen gave her a little shake._

"_When! Bloody talk to me!"_

"_When we were at the station…I was called into Captain Cragen's office…"_

_Realization hit Helen. "Why didn't you say anything?" she asked quietly, hurt creeping into her voice._

"_We didn't even really know each other then…and besides, what was the point back…" Mack tried desperately to explain._

"_What's the point…?" Helen interrupted. She looked like she wanted to argue it but instead she sat in silence. "You're right. It's none of my business…" She got up off of the couch and quietly made her way to Mack's room and quietly shut the door._

_Mackenzie felt like a double dose of an ass. She just sat there staring at nothing. She glanced at her bedroom door and wondered what to do. _

_Inhaling deeply, Mackenzie stood and headed for her room. She lightly knocked on the door. _

"_Helen…" she said softly. Mackenzie was about to knock again when the door opened. Helen quietly slipped past her and headed for the front door._

"_I'd better go. I'm going to be late…"_

"_How are you getting there? I can give you a ride…" Mack watched as Helen's shoulders slumped in defeat. The sight made Mack want to reach out but seeing the hurt in Helen's eyes stopped her._

"_Fine…be ready by 10:30…" with that, she silently went to the front door and slipped out. Mackenzie stood there and stared at the spot where Helen stood._

_Mack had the strongest urge to cry. She shoved her hands in her pocket and wondered why she didn't tell her. Lowering her head in shame, Mackenzie dragged herself to her office to bury herself in her work._

It was now 10:15 and they had to get going. Alex came out of his room with a pile of paintings. He had the proudest look on his face.

"All done mama! Can't wait to see Helen's face!" Alex cried out. The mere mention of the other woman's name almost made Mack cry. Clearing her throat, Mackenzie just smiled and motioned for Alex to follow her to the door.

As Mack slid the door open, Helen's hand was raised ready to knock. Both women stood awkwardly staring at the other, and then looked away.

"Hello young man. What do you have there?"

Whatever happened between the two of them, Helen wasn't going to let it affect Alex. Plastering a big grin on her face, she lowered herself until she was at eye level with Alex.

"I made these for you! For your centre!" Alex was bouncing. Helen glanced at what Alex was literally shoving in her hands and smiled brightly. It wasn't hard to be impressed at the young boy's sweetness.

"These are beautiful! You made them all by yourself?" Helen was touched by Alex's thoughtfulness.

Alex was beside himself. He nodded and Helen reached out and placed a gentle kiss on his forehead. Alex giggled uncontrollably.

"I'll hang them up once the centre is all finished."

Standing up and holding her hand out for Alex, they headed for the elevator while, Mack was left locking the door and the last one to join the two. Helen was obviously still upset with Mackenzie.

_This is going to be a long day…_

* * *

After dropping off Helen at City Hall, Mack drove to the centre. With Alex following closely behind her, they made there way inside.

"What do we have to do first mama?" Alex had never been inside this building before. He was absolutely fascinated by the whole process of the renovations. He was a few feet ahead of his mama when he stopped and looked into a darkened room. He was about to go in when his mama's voice stopped him.

"Alex…stay close to me. I don't want you wandering off by yourself. OK?" She held out her hand and Alex obediently took it. Mackenzie led them into a small room that was already set up for renovation.

"Well, first we have to scrape off some of the older paint before we can put on a new coat."

Mack went to a particular side of the wall and showed Alex how to scrape off the paint. She then handed the tool to her son and gently helped him start the task. After a few minutes Alex was able to do it on his own.

Mackenzie smiled as she watched him for a moment. He had scrunched up his face in concentration as he tackled a stubborn spot.

"You alright Bud?"

"Yeah mama…" Alex grunted as the old paint finally came off. He looked up at his mama and smiled triumphantly.

"Think you can handle the rest of the wall?" Alex nodded enthusiastically. Laughing, Mack went over to the pile of wood that was on the other end of the room. "I'll be right over here, OK Bud?"

"What are you gonna do mama?" He had wandered over to the machine and stood close to his mama.

"This is a table saw. I'm going be cutting up this wood here…"

"What are you gonna need wood for mama?"

"I have to make baseboards for where the wall meets the floor. Right here…see?" Mack had indicated to a section of the floor.

"_Oh…_can I watch?" Alex's eyes had widened in fascination.

"Sorry Bud, no can do. You gotta help me with the wall over there, remember? Besides, this is a bit dangerous so I don't want you to be hanging around to close to the machine…"

Alex slumped his shoulders in disappointment. "OK…" He was turning to head back to his spot on the wall when his mama stopped him.

"Listen, Bud…maybe in a couple years I can really show you how it works. That a fair deal?" Alex smiled and nodded. "Good…now lets get to it. Hopefully we can finish the room by lunch time. If you need any thing, and the machine is on, I want you to wait until I've turned it off before you come close, ok?"

Alex nodded and quickly went back to his spot. He scrunched up his face again and attacked a rough spot on the wall. Mack shook her head and laughed. She began to measure and mark the wood for cutting.

* * *

"Ms. Wade…"

"Stewart…"

"Pardon me?"

"It's Ms. Stewart," Helen said as she sat staring at the plump man. The moment she had walked into the room she didn't stand a chance.

"Uh…right. Sorry. Ms. Stewart, what you're proposing is a wonderful idea. But where do you think you're going to get the money to provide these…_convicts _the necessities that they need to integrate themselves back into our society?"

Helen was slowly losing her patience with this lot. Inhaling deeply, Helen looked Mr. Paterson right in the eyes and spoke with all the calmness she could muster.

"That's funny. I was under the impression that this matter has already been dealt with. My late wife made it clear to me that you had already taken care of it. All the arrangements were already in place. Unless there is another issue you'd like to discuss with me Mr. Paterson?"

Mr. Paterson sat there, red faced. Helen was sure he was going to have a heart attack right then and there. _Wouldn't surprise me…the man is over due for one…_Helen thought with a smirk.

"I…well…no…that…that's fine. You can expect to find the funds at your disposal. I believe this meeting is concluded. If you will excuse me Ms. Stewart…" Mr. Paterson literally ran out of the board room with his lackeys following closely behind.

Helen sat there with a smug look on her face. She reached for her mobile phone and dialled the one person she wanted to speak to.

Alex was the only one to hear the phone ringing. He looked around the debris and finally found it. Flipping it open he pressed it against his ear while his other hand covered his other ear.

"HELLO!" Alex had to yell over the noise.

"Alex?"

"WHAT?"

"ALEX! IT'S ME! HELEN!"

"HI HELEN!" Alex beamed. "I'LL GET MAMA!" Carefully walking over to the far side of the room so he could get his mama's attention, he stood as far as possible from the machine and waved his arms.

Slowly, Mackenzie realized her son was there. Shutting off the machine, she looked up and gave him a questioning look.

Holding out her cell phone Alex simply said, "Helen." Mack wiped her hands on her jeans and took the phone.

"Hello"

"_Hiya…"_ Helen said shyly. Although she was still upset about this morning, she couldn't resist calling Mackenzie.

"Hey Ace. That was quick. How'd it go?" Mack was genuinely surprised to hear from her.

"_Just as I had expected…a lot of BS but I was able to get the money for the programs and other things we might need."_ Helen sounded animated over the phone.

Mackenzie smiled brightly. "That's great Ace! I'm glad it's working out."

"_Thanks Yankee. What have you two been up to? And what was all that noise?"_

"Well, Alex is almost finished with scraping off the old paint and I'm just about done with the baseboards. All it needs is a fresh coat of paint, and we're all done. All we need are some furniture and some pictures on the wall. You're pretty much all set."

"_That's perfect Yankee! How many beds do you think will fit in the rooms?"_

"There's a few rooms that can hold a couple of bunk beds. The rest are just single beds. A desk can fit in there as well and maybe a small wardrobe. But don't you worry about the furnishings. I have a friend that can donate a lot of stuff."

"_Really? That's wonderful…um…"_

"What's wrong?"

"_Well…I need a ride back. Could you come by and pick me up?" _Helen asked shyly.

"No problem. Let me get Alex and we'll be there. Have you had anything to eat yet?"

"_Nothing yet. I'm starving. What did you have in mind?"_

"Well, I'm pretty messy so maybe some lunch at my place?" Mack suggested unsure of whether Helen would accept the invitation.

"_Yeah, that'd be good. See you in a wee bit."_ Then she was gone. Mack stared at her cell phone as if it was going to explode.

Mack felt a tug on her shirt and looked down.

"What's a matter mama?" Alex asked innocently. _Hell if I know, kid…_

"Let's go get some lunch, Bud." Alex nodded and led the way out of the room with Mackenzie close behind.

* * *

Helen and Mack had quietly worked along side each other in the kitchen. Barley spoke a word to each other since they arrived. Alex was helping with setting up the table and he noticed the sudden change.

"Mama, I'm done setting up the table. Can I go and play in my room?" _Maybe if I give them some time alone, they'll be able to talk more…_Alex thought.

Glancing at her son, Mackenzie nodded. The little boy bounded off to his room and quietly shut his door.

Helen continued to quietly work on dicing the potato's for their lunch. Mack on the other hand was having a much hard time - the silence was making her crazy.

Growing frustrated by the second Mack tossed the knife she was using and placed her hands on the edge of the counter. She stared blankly at the wall while Helen kept on cutting quietly beside her.

"I'm sorry," Mackenzie spoke quietly. Helen was quiet as she looked at Mack for the first time since they got there. Mack had hung her head as she apologized.

Mackenzie took Helen's silence as an 'all was not forgiven'. She was about to turn away when Helen's hand on her arm stopped her. They stood like that for a long time neither daring to move.

"I didn't mean for it to come out like that…" Mack whispered.

"I know. It just hurt hearing you say it though," Helen said softly. Slowly, Helen had moved closer to Mack wanting to feel the warmth from the other woman.

"I was going to say that it's different now that I know you…"

"But why didn't you just tell me?"

"I guess I didn't want you to think the worst of me…"

"And why would I think that?" Helen was honestly surprised by that. Why on earth would Mack think such a thing?

Mackenzie just shrugged. The slight movement reminded Helen of Nikki when she was trying to hide her pain. Helen was about wrap her arms around Mackenzie when the other woman stopped her.

"Ummm…I don't think you should do that…" Looking a bit startled, Helen just stared at her. "I'm still covered in dust, dirt and wood ships. I'm pretty sure that you're outfit costs way more then the entire loft."

"I'm willing to take the chance…" Helen said demurely as she wrapped her arms around Mackenzie's waist. Although they hadn't spoken for most of the morning, Helen had missed Mack's arms around her.

"_OK_…don't say I didn't warn you…" Mack smiled gently at Helen as she wrapped her arms around her.

They heard Alex's bedroom door open.

"Are you guys ok now?" He asked cautiously. Both women smiled at him and nodded. "Good, 'cause I was getting really hungry," Alex said innocently. Helen and Mack both laughed at that. Helen buried her nose in Mackenzie's chest and inhaled the heady scent of sweat mixed with Mack's husky cologne - the combination making Helen's head spin.

Helen innocently placed a kiss on Mack's chest and felt her stiffen. Looking up, she saw that Mack's eyes had changed colour. No longer were they a light shade of brown, but they were darker now, almost black.

Helen cleared her throat and spoke slightly uneven. "You two go and get changed. I'll finish with lunch and then I'll go and freshen up after." Helen saw Mackenzie nod and she reluctantly let Helen go.

Mackenzie motioned for Alex to go and get changed then headed for her room.

Helen watched them both go then steadied herself by leaning against the counter. _Well that hasn't changed…_Helen thought with a smile. She busied herself with lunch but thoughts kept floating back to Mackenzie. She felt herself humming after seeing the look in Mack's eyes.

_Yup…no change at all…_

* * *

The table was all cleared after lunch. Helen had stated that she wanted to help out with the renovations since it looked like Alex and Mack were planning on going back later that day.

"Ok…but can you handle a hammer?" Mackenzie asked hesitantly. She wasn't all too sure that Helen even knew what a hammer looked like.

Dressed in jeans, a rugby t-shirt and a baseball cap, Helen was the epitome of absolute cuteness. And Mack still thought she was the sexiest woman she had ever seen.

With her hands on her hips Helen turned around and gave Mackenzie the most adorable look known to man. "I'll have you know, that I built a flower bed, a bird house and bench in my backyard…"

Holding up her hands, Mack smiled brightly. "Ok, ok…you've made your point. We better get going if we want to finish up before it get's dark."

All three of them headed out and piled into the car. The chatter in the car was light hearted and bounced from the upcoming birthday party to going back to school shopping and sports.

Mackenzie made an important decision right then and there. She'd pretended that this was her life – Helen, Alex…a family. She didn't care if it would backfire or how much it would hurt in the end, but for right now, right this very moment, this was her life. This is what she needed...wanted.

* * *

"It's not going to look that great in here." Mackenzie and Helen were having a disagreement about what colour to paint the room for 15 minutes.

"And so you think _that_ is any better?" Helen pointed to the can of forest green coloured paint. Alex had stood wide eyed at the two grown ups, his head swinging back and forth like a ping pong ball.

"Well, it's a _hell_ of a lot better then that orangey colour you want…" Mack retorted. There was no way _that_ colour was going up on these walls.

"It's _orange peel_ for your information. It's a perfectly nice colour!"

"Yeah…for a school bus! Besides, haven't these women had enough orange in their wardrobe?"

They were now standing toe to toe their faces inches apart. Mackenzie had the strongest urges to grab the other woman and kiss her but the presence of her son was enough to stop that idea from going any where.

"And so you think fungi is a better colour on the wall?" Helen was flushed from all this arguing but it was more from blushing so much. Mackenzie was attractive but this was a whole new level of attraction.

Helen had to keep herself from drooling every time Mack swung a hammer or wiped the sweat off her forehead.

"Its better then looking like a…cover your ears Alex…" Mack watched as Alex dropped his scraper and covered his ears but still stared at both adults. Turning back to Helen she continued, "…like a damn school bus!

"WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?" All three heads spun around to see Brady and Olivia. Brady looked astonished while Liv was just…well, pissed.

Helen and Mackenzie blushed while Alex scratched his head not knowing what to do. Clearing her throat, Mack waved timidly at the two new comers.

"Uh…hi…" Mack said.

"Shut it! I got a call saying that there was some yelling coming from here…" Olivia was fuming. Brady stood behind her with her arms crossed, no doubt upset with Helen and Mack.

"Sorry…we couldn't decide on a colour…" Mack tried to explain.

"So you had to wake the dead to do it? Really Mackenzie, I expect more from you!" Brady spoke sternly. Mackenzie looked embarrassed and stared at her feet. Mumbling an apology

Mack rubbed the back of her neck.

"I should hope so. Are you two mature enough to discuss this like adults or do you need a babysitter?" Brady looked pointedly at Mackenzie. She mumbled that they were going to be adults while Helen felt like a teenager caught snogging on the front porch.

"Good. Now if you don't mind, we're going to take our nephew out for a much needed break. Come on sweetie; let's leave mama and Helen here while you and I go grab some ice cream." Alex nearly fell over his feet trying to hurry out of the room in excitement and wanting to get out of that awkward situation.

"I'm expecting the both of you to behave. If I get called down here again I'm going to kick your scrawny little..."

"Language."

"…butt." Liv jabbed her finger at Mackenzie. Marching out of the room and leaving the two women alone, Olivia scooped up Alex and held out her hand to Brady and soon they were gone.

There was an awkward silence between the two of them. Mack shuffled her feet around while Helen fidgeted with her fingers.

"I still like that orange…" Helen said to no one in particular. Mack slowly turned her head around and stared at her.

"No. We're going with the green…" Mackenzie went over to the paint cans and began to open one. Helen marched over to the orange can and opened the lid then grabbed one of the paint brushes and went for one of the walls.

Mack saw what she was doing saw and quickly grabbed her stuff and rushed over to Helen.

"What the hell are you doing?" Mack asked as she watched Helen dip in her brush.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" Helen was about to slab some orange onto the wall when Mackenzie grabbed her wrist.

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No!" The two went on like this for a few more minuets going nowhere fast. Helen then placed her can and brush down and stepped closer to Mack.

"Well, if you like the bloody green so much, why don't you wear it?" Before Mackenzie could react, Helen grabbed Mack's brush filled with green paint and hit her on the chest. Mack stood there stunned. She looked down at her shirt which was soaked in green paint then stared back at Helen who had a smug look on her face.

_Revenge is sweet…_thought Mack as she slowly bent down and took the orange paint brush, straightened herself up and smiled mischievously. Helen's eyes widened in horror, as she realized what was going to happen.

Shaking her head and holding out a hand to stop Mack, Helen began to back up. "Don't you dare!"

"You dared…" Mackenzie slowly advanced on Helen.

"That was different!"

"_Oh really?"_

"Yes it was…put that down right now!" Helen realized she still had her brush in her hand and held it up against Mackenzie's chest. "Don't move!"

Mackenzie's smile grew wider as her free hand gently held Helen's wrist. The other hand came up slowly and hit Helen right on the chest. Helen's mouth dropped open in shock.

"You hit me…you actually hit me…" Helen said still not completely over the shock. Mackenzie just smirked as she took the brush and smudged the paint all over Helen's shirt.

Helen looked appalled as Mackenzie innocently said, "I never liked that team anyways." Eyes narrowed as Helen dabbed her paint brush in the green paint then flicked it at Mack. She didn't turn away fast enough as flecks of paint hit her cheek.

"Ok, ok…so this is how it's gonna be, huh?" Mack was already dipping her paint brush in the can.

"Mackenzie…"Helen said warningly. She didn't like that glint in Mack's eyes. She quickly braced herself for what was coming and shut her eyes. But it didn't. Helen opened her eyes just as she saw Mackenzie smack her leg with the paint brush.

Helen heard Mackenzie laugh as she watched Helen's expression.

"That's it! This is war!" Helen quickly started flicking her brush at Mack. They both bobbed and weaved and laughed as they tried to escape the other's advances. They went on like that for a while until Mackenzie was brave enough to get closer to Helen.

Mackenzie took hold of one of Helen's wrists just as it was about to jab her. She quickly pulled Helen to her and held her arms to her sides. They were covered in paint and out of breath but they loved every second of it.

"Give up Ace..." Mack said huskily. Their heads were almost touching, their mouths were close. Helen could feel the warm breath as Mackenzie spoke. Mackenzie was slowly running her hands from Helen's elbow to her shoulder then back to her elbows.

"Not a chance Yankee," Helen said breathlessly. Her hands went to Mackenzie's hips then slowly made their way to Mack's rear end and gently messaged it.

Eyes fluttering closed, Mackenzie softly moaned her appreciation. Helen found that undeniably sexy and she lifted her head and rested her lips on Mack's. She felt arms wrap themselves around her. Helen's tongue gently met Mackenzie's lips wanting entry.

Mackenzie opened up and groaned as Helen's hot tongue slowly explored her mouth. Helen's hands worked their way up under Mackenzie's shirt and moaned loudly as her hands brushed against skin.

Mackenzie buried her hands in Helen's hair and angled her head so Helen could have more access to her mouth. They were vaguely aware of moving. It was only when Helen pushed herself against Mack did she realize that they she had pushed Mack up against the wall.

Mackenzie didn't mind being trapped between Helen and the wall. It was more of a turn on then anything. Mackenzie was slightly taller then Helen and had to bend her legs slightly in order to pull her flush against her. A hand cupped Helen's wonderfully rounded buttocks and lifted her ever so slightly while her other arm went around Helen's back to keep her in place.

Helen held on for dear life by wrapping her arms around Mack's shoulders. When she wasn't close enough still, Helen wrapped her strong legs around Mack's waist bringing them flush against each other.

Groaning loudly, Mack broke the kiss and leaned back against the wall. Helen kissed Mack's exposed neck then nibbled lightly when Mack cried out in pleasure. The sensations that Helen's lips, tongue and teeth were creating were too much for Mackenzie to handle and slowly slid down the wall still holding on to Helen.

The move brought Helen directly over Mackenzie's sensitive spot between her thighs. Feeling bold, Helen brazenly moved in away that made it difficult to miss what Helen wanted.

Moaning, Mack held on to Helen's hips as she moved. Helen leaned down and kissed her deeply and felt herself being rolled over then felt the hard ground under her. She threw a leg over Mack's thigh and held her captive.

Mack couldn't resist the silent invitation and rubbed against Helen as she kissed her. The woman beneath her arched her back and moaned. She slipped a hand in between them and felt for Mack's belt buckle and tugged at it.

Mackenzie had a shred of common sense left and broke the hot kiss. "Helen…wait...," Mack struggled to form a decent sentence with Helen so eager at getting her naked. Reaching between them, Mack rested her hand on top of Helen's slowly pulled it out from between them.

Helen looked up half dazed, half questioningly. "Desk…sofa…anything…," Mack croaked out. Again, Helen was dazed. "I want to make love to you but not here…."

As if finally realizing what was being asked of her Helen nodded and hungrily replied, "Office…first door…"

She didn't get to finish when Mackenzie took hold of Helen's thighs wrapped them around her waist and gathered her in her arms. She felt herself being lifted off of the hard wood and carried out of the room and down the hall.

Mackenzie finally made it into the tiny office. She placed Helen on top of the desk and smiled sensuously at her while she peeled off her shirt. She stood there in just a bra and her blue jeans and watched as Helen's eyes devoured her.

Biting her lower lip, Helen slowly reached out and lightly traced the muscles there. Mack shivered at her touch and slightly swayed. Helen smiled slowly at the reaction. Leaning forward, Helen pressed her lips against her skin, barely touching Mack's abdomen.

Mackenzie gasped and buried her hands in Helen's hair. Helen's lips moved slowly over Mackenzie's hot skin and heard her groan. She felt muscles clench and unclench as ran her hands along the sides of Mackenzie's body.

Helen looked up at Mack through clouded eyes and saw Mackenzie' watching her with a look she could read. Smiling sensuously, keeping her eyes on Mack, Helen's hands undid Mack's belt buckle, then she undid the button.

Mackenzie's breathing more laboured as Helen slowly unzipped her pants. Mack closed her eyes and threw her head back as eager hands slid in side. Helen kissed every inch that she had exposed, her hands finding Mackenzie's rear end and drawing her even closer to her.

Mackenzie's hands were impatient. They reached down and Mack begun to tug at Helen's shirt, wanting to touch her. Helen quickly made work of her shirt by ripping it over her head and tossing it to the floor then resumed her deep exploration.

After what felt like years, Mack had to step back from Helen. The other woman whimpered and Mackenzie leaned down and took her mouth into hers and kissed her deeply. Helen reached up and cupped Mack's breasts.

Helen reached behind Mack and unclasped her bra and slid it of Mackenzie's beautiful body. She broke the kiss only to move her way down Mack's neck then down to her breasts and hungrily took a nipple into her mouth. Helen sucked slowly then lightly nipped at it while a hand squeezed and pumped the other.

Mackenzie cried out as already sensitive nipples were brought to new levels of sensitivity. Breathing heard, Mack tore at Helen's bra and eventually gave up when the material wouldn't budge. Growling in frustration, Mack grabbed the edge of Helen's bra and pushed the offending piece of clothing up. Now exposed to her impatient hands, Mack cupped Helen's perfect breasts and squeezed.

Helen cried out leaning back to give Mackenzie better access. Mack took up the offer and leaned down and took one of Helen's nipples into her mouth and lavishly paid close attention to it while playing with the other.

Helen hooked her fingers into the loops of Mack's jeans and pulled her close, causing Mack to fall on top of her. She impatiently tugged at Mackenzie's pants, growling in frustration as it wouldn't budge.

Mackenzie chuckled at Helen's eagerness but quickly choked back a moan as Helen's fingers slipped in between her panties. At once, Mack stood and ripped of her jeans and underwear in one swift motion.

Mack climbed back on top of Helen and cried out as Helen slipped her fingers in between her legs again and found the prize. Mack had to balance herself on her elbows as Helen explored her deeply. She moved against Helen's hand as she kissed Helen, her tongue exploring the insides of Helen's mouth.

She felt herself creeping close to the edge and reluctantly stopped Helen's wonderful hand. Helen looked up with pleasure filled eyes. Mackenzie smiled as she moved her way down Helen's body and came to a stop at Helen's jeans.

Mack's slowly undid Helen's button. She looked up and made sure that Helen was watching every movement. With brown eyes locked onto green, Mack slowly undid Helen's zipper with her teeth. Mackenzie could see Helen's eyes had gone a shade darker and smiled as her hands pulled down Helen's jeans.

Mack stood up and positioned herself in between Helen's legs. She looked pointedly at Helen then glanced at Helen's bra, which was still hooked. Helen sat up slightly and unhooked it, eyes still locked on each other. She lay back down and gave herself up to Mackenzie's hungry eyes.

Mackenzie stood still and devoured every inch of Helen's form. Smiling slowly, Mackenzie wrapped her hands around Helen's waist and gently pulled her rear end closer to the edge of the desk.

Then kneeling down in between her legs Mack positioned her face so that her lips were a breath away from Helen's core. She heard Helen whimper as Mack slipped her arms underneath Helen's legs and held her in place.

Mackenzie's tongue tentatively licked at Helen's sweetness. She smiled as she listened to Helen gasp. Again, Mack teased her until it was evident that Helen beyond aroused. Unable to hold back any longer, Mackenzie's mouth warm mouth found Helen.

The other woman cried out as hot breath encompassed her every being. She felt Mackenzie's talented tongue excite her to the point of ecstasy. Helen knew she was close as she moved against Mackenzie's mouth.

Just when she thought she could no longer stand the attention she was getting from Mack's mouth, she felt talented fingers stimulate her to newer heights then she thought possible.

Mackenzie was hot and ready burst as she brought Helen higher and higher. She felt Helen's hands in her hair and felt herself being dragged up Helen's body.

Mack's fingers still moved slowly inside Helen as she made room for Helen to slip her fingers into Mack. They both groaned loudly as Helen felt how wet Mackenzie was. They brought each other to the edge then back again as they inched closer and closer.

Mack threw her head back and moved against Helen's fingers and it was only a matter of minutes before she finally gave into the building pressure between her legs. Crying out, Mackenzie held herself up on her elbow as she jerked against Helen's hand.

She was shaking by the force of her orgasm. She rested her forehead against Helen's as she brought Helen to the edge and pushed her over. Helen cried out Mack's name as she felt herself lose control. She held on tightly as spasms wracked her body.

They were breathing heavily once they finally came back down to earth. They moved against each other as they kissed deeply. When air became an issue, they grudgingly broke apart and smiled tiredly at each other. Sweat covering them both.

"So…what colour did we chose again?" Mack asked as she rubbed her nose against Helen's. She had never felt so content then she did at that moment. It was such a wonderful feeling.

Smiling as well, Helen playfully nipped at Mack's chin. They looked at each other considering the other's answer.

"Blue…" They both said at the same time. They were quiet for a moment then laughed out loud.

"My favourite colour…" Mackenzie mumbled as she kissed Helen's throat. Helen purred her appreciation and arched into Mack's lips.

"Mmmm…mine too…" Helen replied breathlessly. She felt hands slide down her body and smiled as she new what was happening.

"Up for another round?" Mackenzie asked as her lips hovered over Helen's. She'd never get enough of her.

Wrapping her arms and legs around Mackenzie's strong body, Helen smiled sensuously. "Question is, are you?" She closed the small gap and kissed Mackenzie hard.

_I guess I have my answer…_were Mackenzie's last thoughts as Helen quickly showed her who was boss.


	13. Girls Day Out

Sorry...it's been a while since actually wrote anything for this. Sorry for the delay. I would have wrote more but it's about 12 am now so I think I'm gonna have to sleep soon...

Disclaimer: I don't own anything

* * *

Girls Day Out

Lying in bed, Helen and Mack held each other. Both were sore and exhausted from a day filled with assembling and moving furniture around.

"I don't think I can move any more," moaned Helen. Every muscle in her body ached. She had never moved so much furniture in her life.

"It was your idea to do everything ourselves. I did offer to get movers…" Mack replied tiredly. She tried in vain to get Helen to use the movers but Helen was too excited to wait. And Mack couldn't say no to her.

"Fine…blame me. I'm too tired to argue…" Helen groaned as she threw an arm around Mack's waist. They were about to fall asleep when Alex came rushing in. Launching himself onto the bed, Alex bounced around giggling.

"Mama! There's three more days 'till my birthday!" Both women laughed at loud and Mack reached out and grabbed her son. The little boy shrieked and tried to squirm his way out of his mama's grasp. A few minutes later, it was a free for all.

An hour later, they all fell onto the bed laughing and out of breath. Helen reached out and brushed the hair from Alex's eyes.

"So young man, have you given any thought on what you'd want for your birthday?" Helen asked gently. Nodding enthusiastically, Alex listed off the many things he had on his list. Helen and Mack listened intently and made mental note's for later.

"That's quiet a list you have there. I guess we need to get to work then…" Helen said gently. She reached out and kissed Alex's forehead. He giggled and bounced out of the room to watch TV.

"You doing anything today?" Mackenzie asked. She was playing with Helen's hair.

Nodding, Helen reached up and kissed Mack briefly on the lips. "Brady and I will be doing some birthday party shopping…"

"Really? Without me?"

Rolling her eyes, Helen laughed quietly. "You're the reason were doing it…"

"I forget one time and I'm in the dog house! Brady is never going to let me forget, is she?" Mackenzie said with a grin.

Laughing along, Helen nodded. "That's what you get…oh no you don't!" Mack had reached out and wrapped an arm around Helen but she managed to push Mackenzie back down and straddled her. Pouting, Mack just looked up at Helen.

"Don't give me that look, Yankee…" leaning down she kissed Mackenzie deeply. It seemed to go on forever.

Moaning, Mack let Helen go. "You better get going or else Brady will be really mad at me…"

Laughing, Helen got up and straightened out her clothing. "I'm going to head over to my place and shower…"

Mackenzie had a strange look on her face. "Yankee, what's wrong?" Helen sat back down and cupped Mack's face.

Swallowing, Mackenzie looked Helen in the eye. "Why don't you bring some of your things here…"

Helen was quiet. _Is she saying what I think she's saying?_ Helen thought her eyes wide. She sank back down onto the bed.

"I mean, it…it…it'll be easier instead of going back and forth…that's if…if…you want…I'm not pushing or anything…I mean…I…" Mackenzie rambled on. She had never been so nervous. The longer Helen didn't say anything, the more nervous Mack got.

"Yes…" Helen said quietly. Mack was so anxious that she didn't hear what she said.

"…that's if…if…if…you don't want to…that's ok…this is good too…"

"Yes…I'll bring my things over…" Helen said a little louder.

"…no pressure from me…_yes?"_ Helen's words gradually sank in. Mack's eyes widened as she took a moment to really digest Helen's answer. "Yes?"

Smiling, Helen nodded as her hands went up to tenderly cup Mack's face. "Yes…"

"Yeah?"

"Yeah…"

Mackenzie's heart was racing. "Ok…yeah…ok…ok…" Mack laughed as she tried to piece together a sentence. Helen laughed at how cute she looked. She pulled down Mack's head and kissed her long and hard.

They broke apart laughing. Mack grabbed her and spun her around making Helen cry out. Alex came running in with a grin on his face although he had no idea why his mama and Helen were so happy.

"What's wrong?" He asked curiously still smiling. He watched as his mama gently placed Helen back on the ground and quickly kissed her on the lips. Both adults turned and Helen picked up Alex and cradled him in her arms.

His mama wrapped her arms around the both up them making a warm cocoon.

"How would you like it if you saw me a lot more…?" Helen asked tenderly. She and Alex had grown closer in the last week.

Alex smiled brightly and nodded. "Every day you mean? That be so _cool_!" he said innocently which made the two women laugh.

"Well Bud, how would you feel if Helen brought over a few of her things?" Mackenzie asked slowly. She knew her son was smart but there were some things that an 8 year old mind couldn't fully grasp.

Eyes wide as saucers, Alex nodded. Mack reached over and kissed her son on the forehead. She loved him so much it still amazed her. Being able to share the everyday things made Mack feel a little less alone. Although it would only be temporary, Mackenzie still wouldn't be alone.

"Are you guys gonna sleep in the same room?" Alex asked pointedly. He knew his mama and Helen were sleeping buddies like Olivia and Brady were.

Both women froze. They quickly glanced at each other not knowing what to say. Mack was the first to reply.

"Well…uh…we…how do you know about…uh…who told you that?" Mack stuttered.

Helen had buried her face in Alex's shirt keeping herself from laughing out loud. The little boy was too much. She shook with the effort.

Alex rolled his eyes in his 8 year old way. "_Mom_…you _kiss_ like aunt Ollie and Brady do…" He said in a matter of fact voice.

Mack could feel Helen shaking in her arms from laughter. "Oh…" was all Mack could say at her son's observations. Alex shook his head as he smacked his forehead and sighed loudly. Helen couldn't hold it in any longer and she laughed out loud.

Alex looked at her then laughed as well. Pretty soon, all three of them were laughing uncontrollably.

They somehow managed to control the laughter, they made arrangements to help Helen bring a few items over later that day.

Looking at her watch Mack made a face. "I gotta get outta here…"

"Where are _you_ going?" Helen asked as she helped Alex pack a few things in his backpack. Alex was going to spend the day with Olivia as the two women went on their errands.

"I have some shopping I need to do for myself so if you don't mind…" Mack playfully swatted Helen's behind and winked at her. Helen gave a yelp and quickly turned around and made a grab for Mack who moved in time.

Alex laughed as he watched his mama getting caught by Helen.

"Ok, Bud. Let's head on outta here…" His mama scooped him up as Helen grabbed his backpack. They all headed out and as they gathered in the hallway, Mack handed over her keys to Helen.

They smiled as there fingers brushed and Helen turned to lock the heavy door. Taking hold of the hand that was offered, Helen laced her fingers with Mack as they walked down the hall to Olivia and Brady's place.

_This is mine…for the year that I'm here…they're both mine…_Helen thought. She blinked away the tears that had formed in her eyes as the door slid open.

Mack handed Alex over to Olivia who received a stern warning from Brady about the junk food Liv was surly going to feed Alex. Brady then hugged Helen in way of a hello and smiled at Mack.

"All set?" Brady asked happily. Nodding, Helen gave a kiss to Alex then turned her attention to Mack. She smiled as Mack leaned down and gently kissed her lips. They heard a giggle in the back ground as well as someone clearing their throat.

Reluctantly, they pulled away to see a crowed had formed around the door. Blushing, Helen and Mack smiled shyly and looked away.

"See mama…you kiss like aunt Ollie and Brady do!" Alex exclaimed. Charlie giggled as did Olivia and Brady.

"That was gross!" proclaimed Sol. They all rolled their eyes at him.

"You think everything is gross," Brianna said as she stood in front of him with her hands on her hips. She was a pint size version of Brady.

Rolling her eyes, Charlie was carrying as sleeping Kayla. "Oh boy…here we go…" she turned and went upstairs to put Kayla down.

"Do not!"

"Do too!"

The two carried on until Olivia cleared her throat loudly. The two stopped and stared up at their mom. "That's enough you two. Go and take Alex. And don't start fighting!"

She set Alex down who took off with his cousins. Liv turned to stare at the two women as did Brady. They both had knowing smiles on their faces.

Helen and Mack started squirming under the stares. Brady laughed gently as Olivia had a small smile for her sister. Brady had pity on them and decided it they had enough silent teasing.

"Ok, Helen. Let's get outta here…I'll call when were done, honey." Olivia nodded and gave her wife a kiss on the lips and smiled.

Turning, Helen waved bye as she and Brady made their way to the elevators. Mackenzie couldn't help but stare at the sway of Helen's hips as she went down the hall.

"You know it's rude to stare…" Startled, Mack turned and glared at her sister. Giving her sister a little shove Mack went inside.

"What are you doing that requires my services?" Liv made her way to the sofa and made herself comfortable. Mack joined her and sat back.

"I gotta pick up something for uh…you know who…" Mack said as she jerked her head in the direction of Sol's room. Understanding, Olivia nodded.

"My lips are sealed." Liv watched smiled quickly then looked away. Something else was on her mind. "What is it?"

"I sorta asked her to move in a few things…"

"As in, moving her things to your place?" Mack nodded. "Wow…that's a big step. What she say?"

Mackenzie gave her a smile that was a cross between ecstatic and terrified. "She said yes…"

"You're scared out of you mind, aren't you?"

"A little…I've never lived with anyone before…" Mack said a little nervously. Although she had dated in the past, no one came close to her front door without an invitation…which was never. "What's it like?"

Olivia thought for a moment. "It's different. Before Brady, I went home alone, I ate alone, slept alone…did everything alone…that wasn't much of a life. Then I met Brady…I laugh more, I can never get home fast enough, just seeing her smile at me when I wake up…I can't describe it."

Mack nodded. She's been feeling the same way about Helen.

"What does Alex think?"

"He's nuts about her. Helen's pretty wild about him. He loves the idea of seeing her everyday…"

"So what's the problem?" Liv asked gently.

"You don't think it's too fast?"

Smiling gently at her sister, Olivia threw an arm around her and squeezed. "If you think this is what's good for the three of you, then do it…"

"Thanks…"

"Don't worry…I'll put it on your tab…"

They laughed. It had been a while since the two actually sat down and talked. Mackenzie missed that.

* * *

Brady manoeuvred the car in and out of traffic. It was a bit busy for a Wednesday afternoon. They found a parking spot close enough to the front doors of a mall.

"There we go!" They climbed out and headed for the mall. The two spent hours upon hours going through the many shelves of party favours. Finding a seat in the food court, they collapsed onto the chairs.

"Oh my goodness…I didn't realize how tiring shopping for birthday supplies was." Helen huffed. She was tired but she loved going through and finding all sorts of things she thought Alex might like.

Brady smiled at her. "So…how are you and Mack? She treating you well?"

Helen smiled at the mention of Mackenzie's name. "I know that smile anywhere. I take it things are good with you?"

Still smiling, Helen nodded. Biting her lip, Helen wondered if she should tell her.

"What? What is it?"

Smiling shyly, Helen played with a napkin. "Well…she asked me to move some off my things to her place…"

Brady's jaw fell wide open._ "And?"_

"I said yes…"

Brady gave a little shriek of joy then quickly covered her mouth as people turned to stare at her.

"Shhh!" Helen whispered while giggling. She was feeling giddy.

"There's one more place we need to stop in…" Brady said out of the blue. Helen eyed her curiously.

"Oh? I thought we got everything…"

"We're covered for the party…it's for the…uh…_after party…_" Brady said suggestively. She grabbed Helen's hand and headed for one of the stores. Helen realized where they were going.

They looked through the racks looking for the perfect outfit. Both women laughed like school girls.

_If only Nikki could see me now…_

* * *

Mack walked into Music Man Store and was greeted by the owner.

"Hey man! It's been a long time! Where the hell have you been?"

"Hi Tony…I've been around. You got that guitar I ordered?"

Nodding, Tony motioned Mack to follow. They walked down to the back of the store and Tony lifted up a well sized box.

"Just came in this morning. This one for you?" Tony and Mackenzie become good friends when she did her time at juvie. They had bonded over their love of guitars and music and had hung out together until Mack was let out.

Since then, they had lost touch until Brady mentioned him a few weeks ago.

Shaking her head, Mack checked the guitar and placed back in the box. "Nah…it's for my son's birthday. He's wanted to learn for a while so I figured, why not start now?"

Tony whistled. "Dang! You got a kid? How old?"

Smiling with pride, Mack looked up. "Turning 9 in a few days. Hey, I didn't know you still kept in touch with Brady…"

Brady had helped Tony get back on his feet and was there when he opened up his custom guitar shop.

Tony shrugged, "I bumped into her a few weeks ago. We traded numbers and well…here you are…" he smiled ruggedly.

"I still see that Italian charm is still intact…"

Laughing, Tony gave Mack a crooked grin, "I gotta do what I gotta do," Tony said in a thick Italian accent. Shaking her head, Mack gave Tony a little shove.

"Well do me a favour, will ya? Check me out!" Tony laughed at Mackenzie's joke. Back in the day, Tony had a crush on Mack but she had turned him down countless times until Mack finally told him she was gay.

At first his ego was understandably bruised but as time went on, he and Mack became good friends. Although they loved to tease each other relentlessly.

"For you Bella, anything!" They laughed as the made their way to the register.

"How is…what's her name? Mandy…no wasn't it Mel…Mel something right?" Tony asked curiously. Inhaling deeply Mack beat the anger she felt rising.

"I dunno…" she shrugged. She took her receipt and smiled at Tony.

"I take it you two are a no go…"

"You could say that…" Mack just wanted to get the hell outta there.

"For what it's worth…good riddance. That girl was…" Tony waved his hand slightly. Tony had never liked Melody. They'd get into arguments about Mel's treatment of Mack.

Giving Tony a small smile, Mack nodded. "Yeah…thanks. Look, I gotta get going. Hey, if you're not working Saturday, why not come by my son's birthday party. We can catch up more then…"

Tony nodded. "Thanks man! I'll let you know…" They exchanged numbers then Mack said goodbye and headed for the car.

She gently placed the guitar into the back seat and started the car. Her cell rang and she flipped it open on the third ring.

"Benson."

"_Hiya. You almost done?"_

Smiling brightly as she pulled out of her parking space, she put the phone on speaker.

"Hey sexy. Yeah…I'm on my way home now. You all finished?"

"_Yeah…but you can't ask me what we got. I'm under strict orders not to say a word."_

"I do have ways of extracting important information…"

"_Not if I can help it."_ Mackenzie nearly hit the car in front of her.

"BRADY! What the hell!" She could hear laughter on the other end.

"_I'm sorry sweetie. I couldn't help myself..."_

Mack groaned. She was sure Olivia would be hearing about this which would mean endless teasing from both Brady and her sister.

"That's it…I'm hanging up…" Mack said grumpily. She heard a sexy chuckle in the background and knew Helen was enjoying this too much.

"_I'll see you a bit, yeah?"_

"That depends…"

"_Oh yeah? On what?"_

"Yeah right. Like I'm going to tell you with Brady there. I don't think so," Mack said with a smirk on her face.

"_Then I'll have to make sure I make it up to you…"_ Helen said seductively. Again, Mack nearly got into an accident.

"You know what? I'm going to hang up now before I get into a serious accident…"

She heard laughter and they said their goodbyes.

_Sweet Mary…Helen is going to be the death of me…_

* * *

Brady and Helen were laughing hysterically as they hung up.

"I told you it would work!" Brady wiped her tears. Helen didn't think she could pull it off but she did.

"I can't wait for her to see this…" Helen looked in the little bag again. She actually bought the darn thing. She wasn't even sure if it would cover a small toy let alone her. _I hope I know what I'm doing…_

"Sweetheart, she won't know what hit her!" Brady smiled brightly. The two had devised a plan for Helen. After the birthday party, Olivia and Brady would take Alex for the night so Helen could…uh…work out their living arrangement.

Helen thought it was a great plan at the time, but now several hours later, she wasn't sure she could go through with it.

"Helen…you will be fine. It's Mack you'll have to worry about…" Brady said with a sly smile. Helen's jaw dropped open. Brady just laughed.

_Yup…Mackenzie won't know what hit her…_

Brady and Helen quickly made their way to Helen's loft with the many bags in hand. They decided to leave the party supplies at her place since it was less used by the others.

Helen hadn't been in her loft in a while and the mail had been piling up. She went through the stack fairly quickly since most were junk mail.

The last letter took her breath away. The hand writing was so very familiar.

"Helen? Are you alright?" Brady asked. She had been talking to Helen only to realize she wasn't listening. She wandered over to Helen and placed a gentle hand on her shoulder.

Swallowing, Helen showed Brady the envelop. "She sends me letters…" Helen said softly. Brady was confused. She thought that Helen's wife had passed away.

"I don't know how…they just come in the mail…" Helen explained. She sank down onto the sofa as did Brady.

"How do you know their from your…wife?" Brady was doubtful. There were a lot of nut jobs out there. Who knows who's been sending these letters?

Helen gently traced the handwriting on the envelop. "It's her handwriting…" Helen smiled sadly.

Brady gently placed her arm around Helen's shoulder. "What's it say?"

With shaking hands Helen opened it slowly. She first read it quietly then she felt tears welling up inside of her.

Clearing her throat she softly read it out loud.

_Hello love,_

_I bet you've wondered where I've gone, yeah? I'm never to far from you. Anyways, I hear you fancy yourself a nice good looking lass. I doubt they'd ever be as good looking as me though, yeah? I'm just teasing, love. You make sure she treats you well…no messing around on you. _

_But in all seriousness, I am happy. It's about time someone take care of you. I know, I know, I've gone all macho on you. I know how you hate it when I do that. But I just want to make sure you're well taken care of._

_Now on to more exciting things, yeah? I hope you've been getting your fill of New York. It's beautiful around this time. Go out, go wild. Let yourself live and enjoy New York in the summer. _

_If not for yourself, then do it for me. Experience the city for me since I can't be there to do it. You know that if I were there, I'd go completely mad. Admit it…you know I'm right. I'm always right. _

_Remember Helen, I'm never too far from you. You're never alone…I'm right there with you..._

_Ah buggers…I've got to go, the bloody nurse if giving me the evil eye. I've kept her waiting while I write this. _

_I'll see you one day, love. But not too soon._

_Nikki_

_PS – I love you._

Brady and Helen were quiet. Helen lovingly folded the letter and carefully placed it back into the envelop.

"How long have you've been getting these, Helen?" Brady asked softly. She reached into her purse and pulled out some tissue and handed it over to Helen.

Smiling her thanks, Helen took it and dabbed her eyes. Clearing her throat Helen replied softly. "A few weeks after Nikki…died. I received the first one about 3 weeks after…"

"And how many have you received?"

"Including this one, makes three. I know you think I've gone off my rocker, but I know these were written by Nikki. I know her writing…"

Brady sat and thought for a moment. "I don't doubt that at all. But who is sending them?" Helen still hadn't figured that out yet. She had asked Trish about it but she had no idea what she was talking about.

"Brady, Mack can't know about these. Please…I don't want her to think that I'm with her because my dead wife is telling me to…"

Brady seemed to consider this. "Why _are_ you with her?" There was no malice in her words. Just curiosity.

Helen was quiet. To be honest, she wasn't ready to put a name on that particular emotion. And she wasn't sure if she was going to be. Helen gave her a partial truth…at least one she's been using.

"She's…different then what she presents to the world. I see something that no one else sees. That's the woman I want…"

This seemed to satisfy Brady…for now. Smiling gently, Brady hugged her tight.

"I promise I won't say a word, but you know you will have to tell her eventually…"

"I know. But right now…I want her to know I only want her."

Nodding, Brady got up and pulled Helen with her. "Come on. Let's see if my place is still intact."

Helen laughed. Leaving Olivia alone with 5 kids was a dangerous idea. Brady always worried if the loft was still going to be there whenever she left.

Shaking her head, she already heard the noise coming from Brady's place. Brady moaned.

"Prepare yourself…" She slipped the key into the slot and slid the door opened.

All activity froze as all eyes zeroed in on the two women.

"Busted…" whispered Sol.

Brady's eyes widened and her jaw fell open. Helen could only stare. The entire loft had been flipped upside down.

"Oh boy…we're in trouble…"


	14. Unwrapped

Sorry, sorry. I've been meaning to get this up but I've been in and out of hospitals/doctor's offices the last month and it's been wearing me down. I've finally finished this chapter – hope it's worth the wait.

The lyrics are from the song 'Hey There Delilah' by the Plain White T's. I've changed some of the words/lyrics but the song does not belong to me. I still don't own anything. You may recognize a couple of other names…although they won't be an integral part of the story.

Don't own anything.

**Rated: _M_**

* * *

Unwrapped

Alex stood in the middle of the room and slowly did a 360. His face was in a state of wonder as he took in the decorations. Mack and Helen stood back and smiled as the young boy soaked it all in.

"It looks just like the Gryffindor common room…" Alex said in awe. Helen and Mack laughed gently. Mackenzie went to her son and squatted down beside him and wrapped her arms around him.

"I take it you like it?" Alex nodded and his hair bounced with him. "Good because I worked hard getting it like this…" Helen cleared her throat as she knelt down beside Mack. She shot a disbelieving look at Mack.

Looking at her innocently, Mack shrugged and turned to her son. "Ok, ok…Helen helped…HEY!" Helen had shoved Mackenzie playfully. Alex and Helen laughed as they both pinned Mack down.

"NO FAIR! TWO AGAINST ONE!" Mack yelped. They all laughed as they all tried to tickle each other. Finally, after being ganged up on, Mack threw her hands up in surrender.

"Ok! Ok! I give up! I surrender!" Mack croaked, slightly out of breath. Alex giggled and jumped to his feet. He tugged on Helen's and Mack's arms.

"I wanna go over to Livie's and Brady's place!" Helen helped Mack sit up then turned to Alex laughing at his excitement.

"Slow down wee one…"

"Please Helen, _puh-leeeessss," _Alex bounced around. Helen reached out and scooped him up in her arms. Kissing the top of his head, she looked over at Mack who was slowly getting up.

"Don't look at me. He's asking you…" Mack smirked as Helen playfully smacked her in the stomach. Mackenzie winced and rubbed her sore stomach.

"Please, please, please Helen, can I?" Alex tugged at Helen's hand again.

"Yeah, Helen. Please, please, _puh-leeeessss_ Helen…" Mackenzie mimicked her son bouncing around.

"Don't you start…" Helen laughed as she watched Mack bounce around. Looking down at Alex, Helen couldn't say no. "Aright," Alex jumped up in the air and pumped his little fist, "_but_, you have to be back in a couple hours to get dressed. Ok?" Alex nodded and grabbed Helen's hand and dragged her to the door.

As Helen watched Alex run towards the other end of the hall, Mack snuck up behind her and wrapped her arms around Helen. Instinctively, Helen leaned back and tilted her head to the side as Mackenzie accepted the unspoken invitation.

Leaning down, Mack lightly kissed Helen's neck and tightened her hold on her as Helen moaned softly and moved against Mack.

Helen vaguely heard Mack's husky voice. "Keep that up sweetheart and Alex won't be having a birthday party." Helen shivered. Then just as quickly, Mack let go of Helen, causing the Scot to stumble a bit.

Mack reached out with a smirk to catch her. Laughing quietly Mack gave Helen a quick peck on the cheek. "We need to get dressed and I have to wrap Alex's gift up still…"

Helen gave her a scowl making Mackenzie burst out laughing.

_She thinks that's funny, huh? Well then…I'll just have to fix that up tonight…_Helen thought. She smiled mischievously and walked with a bit more of a sway as she passed Mackenzie, making sure her hips 'accidentally' brushed against Mack's. She smiled triumphantly as she felt Mackenzie jerk back slightly.

Helen continued walking towards their bedroom. "You can start wrapping up that gift of yours. I'll be getting dressed," Helen called out as she tossed her top over her shoulder. Mackenzie caught the piece of fabric and stared at Helen's bare back with a dry mouth.

_Hot damn!_ Mack thought as Helen shut the door softly. Shaking her head with a smile Mackenzie turned to go to her office to start wrapping that present. _Oh damn…_she thought, her smile fading. Flinching slightly in discomfort, Mackenzie realized she had gotten a little too aroused.

Looking back at her closed bedroom door, Mack stared in disbelief. _Oh she's good…_sighing; Mack took a deep breath and trudged in to her office, wincing with each painful step.

* * *

Mackenzie was brave enough to try and make it over to the snack table without getting run over by 13 screaming kids. Quickly grabbing a plate and piling up as much food as she could, Mack turned and braced herself.

Climbing over kids that ran from one place to another, dodging a flying wizard's hat, and narrowly missing two sets of brooms that would have really done some permanent damage, Mack made it to the little nook in the kitchen where most of the adults stood by watching the mayhem.

Instantly, there were hands that went for the food on the plate. "HEY! Come on! Save some for me!" Mackenzie whined as the plate soon became empty. She looked at the empty plate then at the 10 adults that were munching on the food.

"Hate you…" she mumbled as she turned to go get more. Helen who took pity on Mack wrapped her arms around her waist and pressed herself close to Mack's back.

"Let me…" Helen whispered sexily causing Mack to almost drop the plate. Helen grabbed it and gave Mackenzie's rear end a quick squeeze making Mack jumped and she inhaled sharply watching her go with wide eyes. _What in the…?_

Mackenzie heard giggling behind her and she quickly turned around. Brady, Olivia and the rest of the guys either hid their faces or smiles as they watched Mackenzie blush and squirm under their gazes.

Embarrassed, Mack rubbed the back of her neck. "Hate you guys…" she mumbled as she stood to the side and watched the children stop what they were doing to let Helen pass. The group just laughed.

* * *

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! … HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ALEX!" The rambunctious and out of tune group of 8 and 9 year olds sang at the top of their lungs. The adults just winced as their ears rang.

Charlie who had been video taping the entire party was grinning from ear to ear. "Make a wish!" she instructed. Closing his eyes tight, Alex smiled and then blew out the candles. Everyone clapped and cheered.

Helen appeared with a cutting knife and handed it to Alex. He looked up at her a little reluctantly. "What is it, young man?" Helen asked gently. Alex loved it when she called him that. Made him feel like a real big boy.

Alex tugged at her hand and whispered in Helen's ear. "Can you help me?" he asked shyly. Smiling brightly, Helen wrapped an arm around his shoulders and nodded. Placing her hand over his, they were able to cut the cake with no trouble at all.

Mack stood back and watched the two of them and smiled. Her heart swelled up with pride.

"What did you wish for?" asked one of the older boys. Shaking his head Alex informed him with his mouth full.

"I'm not supposed to tell you. Or else it won't come true. That's the rules…" he said in his big boy voice. Eight year old Alicia wandered over and sat next to Alex, dressed as Hermione.

"He's right…you're not supposta say…" she said and fixed her witch's hat. Danny just rolled his eyes. He came dressed as one of the Slytherin characters. He also had the attitude of one.

"Gimmie a break. That's for babies. Come on Alex…what ya wish for?"

Shaking his head again, Alex wasn't going to say a word. "Nope. I want it to come true…"

"Don't worry Alex, it'll come true. You're really nice to not have it come true," Alicia said politely. Alex blushed at her statement.

Danny snorted and crossed his arms over his chest. "_Oh brother_…"

"If you don't like his answer, you can go eat mud!" Alicia stood up and stomped her foot while placing her hands on her hips. Alex looked from Alicia to Danny with concern on his face. It was his birthday and he didn't want to get into trouble.

"Danny, why don't you just leave us alone, ok? I want my wish to come true, so I won't tell anyone. Not even my mom…" Alex said diplomatically.

"Fine. But you have to play with me and Tommy. We're playing soldiers…" as he said it, Danny gave Alicia a smirk. The little girl's eyes narrowed to slits as she took a step forward. Alex went between them.

"Nah. I wanna hang out with Ali. She's my friend…" Danny scrunched up his face.

"EW…_why_ her? All she plays with are Barbie dolls anyways…"

"I do not! I can play soldier better then you!" Alicia snapped back. Alex always liked her. She wasn't like all the other girls he hung out with who only played with dolls. She liked playing boy stuff too, like soldier or Batman.

Unfortunately, Danny didn't think so. He smiled wickedly as he prepared for a verbal attack. "Oh yeah? You wanna know why you're at the Centre? You're parents thought you were too stupid so they left you there! You're retarded…" Alicia's eyes widened then quickly filled with tears as she turned around and ran for the bathroom. Alex had never felt anger like what he was feeling at that moment.

"SHE'S NOT RETARDED! TAKE IT BACK!" he demanded. His tiny little fists were trembling. The rest of the room had gone suddenly quiet. The other children stopped and stared. Mackenzie, Helen, Brady and Olivia were moving forward in a rush.

"She's _retarded_…" Danny had made a face and slurred the last word. He didn't see the tiny fist that connected with his chin. He went toppling over as Alex sprinted for the bathroom.

"ALEX!" He heard his mama's voice but he didn't stop. He knocked on the door.

"Alicia?" He said quietly. He really did like Alicia and he hated to see her cry. Alex thought he heard a sniffle and he got an idea. He saw his mama coming towards him so he had to act fast. He ran into his room and frantically searched for that one item that would put a smile on his friends face.

Running back out, his mama looked upset. Holding out a hand to stop her from saying anything, Alex quickly spoke.

"I know I'm trouble but can I first make sure Alicia is alright?" Mackenzie was taken aback somewhat but nodded. She watched as he went to the bathroom and knocked. The door opened a crack and he slipped inside.

Mackenzie padded softly to the door and saw her son sitting on the edge of the tub next to the little girl. Some of her anger evaporated as she watched a little longer. Sighing, Mack looked back at the party goers and shook her head.

She was going to get to the bottom of this. She walked over to Danny who was standing defiantly with his arms crossed over his chest as Brady and Olivia scolded him. He took one look at Mackenzie advancing on him and immediately knew he was in deeper trouble then he expected.

Mackenzie saw his face fall and knew that she had him. Keeping a straight face , she stopped before him and crossed her own arms over her chest.

"We're gonna have a little talk…" Mack laid a hand gently on his shoulder and led him to the sofa. Brady and Olivia, as well as Helen watched carefully. The other's tried to look as if they were interested in several pictures hanging on the far side of the wall.

_I'm in big trouble now…_Danny thought as he was lifted onto the sofa.

* * *

Alicia wiped her eyes and sniffed again as Alex sat quietly.

"You know what he said isn't true. He isn't as smart as he says he is…" Alex said softly. He took several long sheets of toilet paper and handed to Ali who wiped away the remaining tears on her cheeks.

"How do you know he's not telling the truth now? What if he's right…" she said sadly. In all honesty, she had no clue why her parents left her here. Danny could be right for all she knew. Maybe she really wasn't as smart.

Shaking his head violently, Alex sat up straighter and said with utter nine year old conviction, "he's not. My mama says that sometimes mommies and daddies can't take care of us properly because they're really sick and they need help. That's why they leave us at the centre where we'll be safe. And we get taken care of…"

"How do you know she isn't just saying that stuff?" Alicia wanted to believe that was true, but people always say that kind of stuff just to keep kids quiet.

Again, Alex said with certainty, "my mama always tells me the truth." Alicia stared at Alex for a moment then nodded slowly.

"Your mama is really smart…"

Nodding proudly, Alex smiled. "Yeah! She is!" Both children laughed. Alex got nervous and stared at his shoes.

"What's wrong?" Alicia asked. She had never seen her friend nervous before.

Alex handed Alicia his most prized possession. Ali's eyes widened.

"Alex…you know I don't play with dolls." The young shrugged.

"I know. But that isn't a doll. She's an action figure. Look…" He proceeded to show Ali all the cool gizmos and gadgets his Batwoman action figure had. Ali was going to give it back but Alex shook his head.

"You keep it…" he said softly.

"But Alex…she's your most favourite toy in the world!" Alicia said surprised he'd even think of giving her his Batwoman toy. Everyone on this planet knew that Alex adored the Bat family.

"I have Batman so when you and me play, you can be the Batwoman and I'll be Batman…" Alex rambled on. Ali found that cute and she smiled and nodded.

"Thanks Alex…," Alicia said softly. Alex blushed and looked away. There was a light knock on the door.

"Alex? Alicia?" Mackenzie spoke softly through the door. The two friends looked at each other and Ali slipped her hand into Alex's. They slipped off of the tub and Alex opened the door and stood back. He gave Alicia's hand a gentle squeeze.

His mother stood with her hands in her pockets and waited. Crouching down to their level, Mack smiled softly.

"Alicia, honey, are you alright?" nodding, Alicia smiled brightly.

"Yes, Ms. Benson." Mack smiled and motioned to the rest of the party goers.

"Alicia, do you mind if I just speak with Alex for a moment?" Ali looked a little concerned.

"But he didn't do anything. He was really nice to me…"

Smiling softly, Mackenzie nodded. "I know sweetheart. Don't you worry…he's not in too much trouble," she winked at her son to soften her words. Alicia still looked a little worried. Alex just smiled at her.

"Don't worry. I'm a big boy now…" sighing, Ali nodded and went over to Brady and Olivia occasionally glancing back at the two.

Getting up, Mack crossed her arms over her chest and glanced from Alicia to Alex. Her son had stuffed his tiny hands into his pocket and stared at his feet as he shuffled them.

Inhaling, Mack smiled gently as she spoke. "So…you want to explain to me what happened, Bud?" She already knew what happened from Danny. She just wanted to hear her son's side of things.

Sighing loudly, Alex shrugged his tiny shoulders. "He wouldn't leave Ali alone. We asked him to stop bugging us but he just wouldn't…"

Nodding, Mackenzie asked softly, "then what happened?"

"He…he said stuff to Alicia that made her cry. Really stupid, bad stuff…." Although Danny confessed to having made Alicia cry, he didn't say what he had said.

"Oh?" Mackenzie hunkered down again as she spoke. "Mind if I ask what it was he said."

Alex looked at Alicia and bit his lower lip. Olivia was holding her in her arms as Ali was showing her the action figure.

"Alex?" Turning around to face his mama, Alex took a breath.

"Danny said the reason she was left at the centre was because Alicia's parents thought she was too stupid. And that's why they didn't want her anymore. Then he called her a retard." Tears of frustration and anger fell from his eyes as he spoke. Taking a calming breath, Mackenzie reached out and hugged her son and kissed the top of his head. "Thank you for telling me."

"I told Ali that it wasn't true. I told her what you said to me…"

"And what _did_ I say?" Mack asked with a small smile. She felt a surge of pride as Alex told her. Mackenzie smiled brightly as she nodded. "I'm glad you decided to listen to me for once…"

"Does this mean you're not angry at me?" Alex asked expectantly. Raising an eye brow, Mack smiled at her son's attempt at squirming his way out of trouble.

"Yup."

"So I'm not in trouble anymore?"

"Oh no. You're absolutely in trouble…." She laughed as Alex snapped his fingers.

"So close…" Alex said as he looked up at his mama. Mack smiled then turned serious.

"Alex, I _am_ disappointed in you…" she said quietly. Alex sighed heavily.

"I know…I'm sorry. I didn't know what else to do…" he said miserably. Mack held her son's face gently as she spoke.

"Sweetie, that's why I'm here. You know that hitting someone is never the answer. Even if that person really deserves a punch in the nose…"

Nodding, Alex looked at his mama with sad eyes. "I ruined my birthday, didn't I?"

"Oh sweetie, no you didn't. You didn't ruin a thing…" kissing his forehead, Mack wrapped her arms around him and picked him up. Alex noticed Helen coming over.

"I have to apologize, don't I?" Nodding, Mack smiled softly.

"Yeah, you do. If he gives you any grief, you come to me. Ok? No more swinging action, got it?"

"Yes, mama…"

"Good. Now get back to you birthday party…" Mack set her son down and watched as he rushed over to Helen.

_He's getting so big…_Mack thought a little sadly.

* * *

"Wow! That is so cool Alex!" said one the boys. Alex nodded, completely speechless. He whipped his head around and had a hug grin on his face.

"Thanks mama! This is the most awsomest present ever!" he got up and ran to his mama who just swung him up in the air with laughter. Holding on to him and giving him a big kiss on the cheek, Mack smiled proudly.

"I'm glad you like it. I already set you up with the classes. You'll be playing like a pro in no time."

Helen wrapped her arms around both of them and kissed Alex's forehead. "Mama, you have to play something!" Alex requested enthusiastically.

"Uh…no…that's alright…" Mack said nervously. The other children looked expectantly at Mackenzie.

"Yeah! Play something!" A handful of children replied and waited patiently. Helen smiled at how uncomfortable Mack was.

"Why don't you? I've never heard you play before…" Helen almost laughed at the desperate expression Mackenzie gave her.

"Well…um…I don't know…it's been a long time…" Mackenzie knew she was blushing. She felt small hands on her cheeks as her face was turned around so she was staring into her son's eyes.

"Please mama…" he said gently. _Oh jeez. Why'd you have to do that Alex? He knows I can't say no to him when he does that._

Sighing, Mack shook her head. "Alright! Alright! Just stop looking at me like that. I have a hard time saying no to you when you do that," Mackenzie stated as she put Alex down. Her son just laughed and held out his arms to Helen who happily picked him up.

"COOL! I'll grab your guitar!" Sol jumped up enthusiastically and ran to Mack's room. Grabbing a chair Mack asked what the group of kids wanted to hear.

"Do you know any Britney Speirs?"

"Can you play any Pussycat Dolls?"

"The Jonas Brothers!!"

Alicia politely raised her hand. "Why doesn't Alex pick? It's his birthday…" Everyone looked at Alex, waiting. Scratching his chin, Alex thought for a moment. Wriggling out of Helen's arms, Alex went over to his mama and whispered in her ear.

Smiling at his choice of song made Mackenzie's heart swell. She watched as Alex tugged at Helen's hand and led her to the sofa nearest to Mackenzie and they both cuddled each other.

Taking a deep breath, Mack faced her toughest crowd. "Ok then. Although all those other songs were great ideas, Alex has requested one that I used to sing to him when he was little…"

"My mama even wrote it!" Alex filled in proudly. Mackenzie blushed uncontrollably. Helen giggled at the sight of her strong detective being undone by her 9 year old son.

Clearing her through with embarrassment, Mack just waved the praise off. "Uh…ok…um…well now…who wants me to play?" She watched as a bunch of little hands went up excitedly as a chorus of 'I do's' was echoed.

Mack plucked the strings, making a few adjustments as she did. Everyone grew quiet as they gathered closely to hear Mackenzie play.

Mack begun to play then she quietly started to sing in her gentle voice. She was shaky at first but gradually became stronger.

"_Hey there Alexander  
what's it like in New York City?  
I'm a thousand miles away  
But son, tonight you look so handsome  
Yes you do  
Times Square can't shine as bright as you  
I swear it's true_

Hey there Alexander  
Don't you worry about the distance  
I'm right there if you get lonely  
Give this song another listen  
Close your eyes  
Listen to my voice, it's my disguise  
I'm by your side

Oh it's what you do to me  
Oh it's what you do to me  
Oh it's what you do to me  
Oh it's what you do to me  
What you do to me

Hey there Alexander  
I know times are getting hard  
But just believe me, son  
Someday I'll pay the bills with this guitar  
We'll have it good  
We'll have the life we knew we would  
My word is good

Hey there Alexander  
I've got so much left to say  
If every simple song I wrote to you  
Would take your tears away  
I'd write it all  
The more in love with me you'd fall  
We'd have it all

Oh it's what you do to me  
Oh it's what you do to me  
Oh it's what you do to me  
Oh it's what you do to me

A thousand miles seems pretty far  
But they've got planes and trains and cars  
I'd walk to you if I had no other way  
Our friends would all make fun of us  
and we'll just laugh along because we know  
That none of them have felt this way  
Alexander I can promise you  
That by the time this song is through  
The world will never ever be the same  
And you're to blame

Hey there Alexander  
You be good and don't you miss me  
A few more years and you'll be done with school  
Then you'll be making history like I knew you would  
You'll know it's all because of you  
You can do whatever you want to  
Hey there Alexander here's to you  
This one's for you

Oh it's what you do to me  
Oh it's what you do to me  
Oh it's what you do to me  
Oh it's what you do to me  
What you do to me."

As she finished strumming the last chord, everyone was silent which made Mack nervous. Clearing her throat Mack gently rested the guitar against a wooden beam and got up.

"Ok…so…who wants cake?" she squeaked. Helen was the first to react. She clapped softly as did Alex then the rest followed. Pretty soon, everyone was requesting a song from the blushing Mackenzie.

Helen couldn't help but smile widely as the children clamored around Mackenzie speaking excitedly all at once. Olivia and Brady smiled proudly as their children laughed and teased their aunt. Elliot, Chester, Fin, Munch and the Captain were either clapping or cheering her on.

Helen noticed that Mack had a way about her that children felt safe to be with her. _They're not the only ones_…Helen thought with a sly smile. She felt a tug on her hand and looked down and noticed that it was Alicia. Smiling brightly, Helen knelt down and tucked a strand of light brown hair behind the girl's ear.

"Yes, wee one?" Helen asked softly. Alicia smiled shyly at the endearment. She thought Helen was very pretty and nice and she made Alex and Ms. Benson smile a lot.

"Ms. Stewart, did you want Mackenzie to play something for you?" Helen was touched by the request. This tiny, little girl had such a pure heart. Reaching out to cup the girl's soft cheeks, Helen smiled warmly at Alicia.

"Thank you sweetheart, that's very kind of you. But I think Alex should choose…"

"But you're Alex's new mom. You can choose whatever you want…," Alicia said innocently. Blinking a few times, Helen had a hard time digesting what she just heard.

_New mom? What in the world?_ Before Helen could say anything, Mackenzie and Alex came wandering by. Mack laughed at something Alex had said. She looked up at Helen and knew something was wrong.

Mackenzie didn't get a chance to say anything when Alex was bouncing between them. "THAT WAS AWESOME!" Mack briefly glanced at her son and asked both Alicia and Alex if they wanted to try out some of his new toys.

Mack watched as the pair dashed to where Alex's toys were. Turning to Helen she reached out and rested a hand on Helen's arm.

"Babe, what's wrong?" Helen wasn't sure how to answer – she was still in shock. Mackenzie noticed Helen pulling back emotionally and she quickly stepped forward and whispered softly, "Please don't shut me out…."

Swallowing, Helen looked around. There were too many people around. Grabbing Mack's hand, Helen led them to a quiet corner away from the crowd.

"What? What is it?" Mackenzie was growing nervous. Helen rubbed Mack's arms as Mackenzie wrapped them around her waist. Taking a breath Helen calmed herself.

"It's Alicia…she said something that just…threw me…"

Mack studied Helen's face. "What did she say?"

"She said I was Alex's new 'mum'…has he said anything? Why would she say that?"

Mackenzie was stunned. _As much as I want that to be true…it's never going to happen…_shaking her head, Mack was speechless.

"I'll have to talk to Alicia and Alex…Helen, I'm so sorry about that. I had no idea Alex felt that way…"

Pressing a finger to Mack's lips, Helen smiled softly. "It's alright. It just threw me. Alicia didn't say that Alex said anything to her, per se. We'll have to speak with the both of them…but not now. Not on Alex's birthday. Ok?"

Nodding, Mack sighed in relief. Helen reached up and quickly kissed Mack on the lips.

"Hey! No hanky panky on you're son's birthday!" Groaning, Mack turned around and playfully shoved her sister.

Olivia just laughed as did Helen. Liv just stood there with her hands in her pockets. "Brady and I will be bringing the kids back to the centre soon. You two need any help cleaning up?"

Looking around Mack noticed the guys just standing around doing nothing. She shook her head. "Nah. I'll get the guys to help. Get them to do something useful for once…"

Olivia and Mack laughed as Helen rolled her eyes. "I'll go get some garbage bags…" Helen said as she shook her head. She got Alex's attention and Mack watched her with a smile.

"Hey! Anyone in there?" Liv lightly elbowed her sister in the ribs. She had a smirk on her face.

"What? Can't find anyone else to harass?" Mack said with a smile. Olivia just threw an arm around her sister's shoulders and watched her wife and Helen.

"How ironic; that the two of us can find someone like them." Mack was quiet. She hadn't planned on ever meeting a woman like Helen. But now that she had, she wasn't sure what she'd do without her. And that scared her.

"Yeah…real ironic…," Mackenzie mumbled. Olivia gave her a squeeze and wandered off to round up the kids. Mack caught sight of Chester heading her way.

"Hey partner. Nice party. He is one lucky kid…," Chester said as he sauntered over.

"Find anything?" Mackenzie was anxious. Although Captain Cragen had ordered her off, she was taking a risk continuing the investigation. _Correction, Chester is taking a big risk…_

Nodding, Chester glanced at the group before him making sure that none of the other detectives were around. "Nothing much. Just that the kid has got a real sore spot for you."

"Yeah, what else is new? Nothing else then?"

"I dug around a little further. The woman…she's done this sort of thing before. But every time they try and bust her for it, she disappears. Cops end up arresting the wrong person; usually it's the second in command, so to speak…"

_Hmmm…that's news to me. Why didn't the Chief mention any of this before I went under? Very suspicious…_Mack thought.

"Where did she do this before?" Mackenzie had to lower her voice since Helen and Cragen were close by. "Actually, let's continue this in the office…," Mackenzie motioned Chester to follow her into the room.

After closing the door slightly, Mackenzie slipped her hands into her pockets and listened. She didn't like the information she was hearing one bit.

"You sure about this?"

Chester nodded solemnly. "Maybe the Captain's right. Maybe you should drop this…this whole vodoo thing is scaring me," he said cautiously. Truth be told, he _was_ a bit frightened by the whole thing. And Chester Lake didn't frighten easily.

Shaking her head, Mackenzie was even more determined to catch this nut job. "Is there anyway you can get in touch with the Bradfield police? Who was the investigating officer? Get them to send whatever information they have on her."

Sighing, Chester ran a hand through his hair. "Detective Inspector Alex Fielding was the lead on this one. I can try contacting her. West Yorkshire is pretty far…," he said a little reluctant.

Senescing Chester was about to back out, Mackenzie spoke quickly. "Look, whatever information you come across, you just give it to me. I won't ask for you to put your ass on the line…"

Shaking his head, Chester smiled. "No way. We're partners. Give me some time…you know the area code for West Yorkshire by any chance?" He said with a cocky grin. Laughing softly, Mack slapped his back.

"Sorry man, you're on your own for that one…"

"Hey you two! No shop talk allowed!" Brady popped her head in and smiled. She opened the door and held her arms out to Mack.

"Your sister and I are heading over to the centre to drop of the kids. We should be back in a couple of hours to pick up Alex…"

Nodding, Mack smiled. "Thanks. We'll be right out…," and giving a very slight nod of her head, she looked over at her partner. Chester caught it and smiled as he walked out of her office.

Brady, as always, never missed a thing. Placing her hands on her hips, she gave Mack her famous look. "_Mack_…what's going on?" she asked suspiciously. Sighing, Mack knew she wouldn't be able to lie to her.

Holding up a hand to ward off any more questions, Mack mentally prepared herself. "Look, Chester just needs some advice on a case he's working on. Since I'm not at work to help, I figured the least I could do is be a sounding board of sorts…," she ended with a shrug. _It's not the complete truth…but close enough._

Brady knew a cover up when she saw one. She was about to call Mackenzie on it when Olivia stepped up behind Brady and wrapped her arms around her and playfully nuzzled her neck.

"Is my _baby_ sister giving you a hard time, babe?" Olivia heard the slight catch of breath as Brady struggled to answer. Glancing at her sister, Olivia nodded ever so slightly and winked at her.

_Thanks sis…_Mack thought as she watched the two of them lovingly stared at each other.

"On second thought, why not save you're answering for later," Olivia wiggled her eye brows suggestively and laughed as she quickly ducked Brady's playful swat.

"Oh you! Is that all you think about?" Brady laughed as she followed her wife out of the room. Mack watched as the kids got rounded up and formed a line in front of the door all under the watchful eye of Brady.

Shaking her head, Mackenzie smiled softly. _At least some things haven't changed…_Mackenzie thought, remembering all the times Brady had that with her as a kid when they were all lucky enough to go on trips to the zoo or museum.

She noticed Alex bouncing around in front of Helen showing off one of his gifts. Mack was pretty sure it was from her sister. Helen laughed as she watched him demonstrate how that toy worked.

Mackenzie caught the eye of Captain Cragen. Inhaling, Mack slowly made her way over to him. _Here we go…_

* * *

"Thanks for coming…bye…," Mackenzie waved at John as he and Fin sauntered out of the loft. Sighing tiredly, Mack slid the door shut and locked it. Brady and Olivia had been there a few minutes before to pick up Alex.

She ran a hand through her hair then stretched her arms out and winced as she heard her bones crack in various places.

_Man…I need to start working out again. _She shook out her arms and trudged slowly to her room. Helen had disappeared a while ago with a sexy smile on her face and Mack wondered what that was about. Shrugging, Mack assumed that Helen had gone to sleep.

Mack rubbed her eyes as she entered her room and noticed Helen wasn't in bed yet. Scratching her head, Mack glanced around but saw no sign of her.

"Helen?" she cried out.

"_In here_…," came the muffled reply. Mackenzie was about to head into the bathroom when Helen opened the door and stood there in nothing but some silky material that didn't cover much. Mackenzie was frozen on the spot, eyes wide as she soaked in the beautiful sight of Helen.

Helen, for her part, was a nervous wreck. She had no idea what she was doing and prayed that she could pull this off. She didn't even know why she let Brady talk her into going through with it; she had never done anything like this before. Not even with Nikki.

_Helen…you know exactly why you're doing this! _Her mind screamed. The look of pure want and satisfaction on Mackenzie's face was all the encouragement Helen needed. Squaring her shoulders, Helen held Mack's gaze as she slowly but so very sexily, took a step forward.

Mackenzie's mouth was drier then the desert and her heart was going faster then humanly possible but she just couldn't look anywhere else but at Helen. Mackenzie's breathing became shallower with each step Helen took.

Helen stopped a few inches in front of Mack. She watched as Mackenzie shivered with Helen so close. Helen felt powerful knowing that she could have this effect on her. She licked her lips sensuously and lifted her head so her lips were hovering over Mackenzie's.

Mackenzie clenched her hands into tight fists. She wanted to touch Helen so badly that it hurt and she was doing a good job of it until Helen reached down and wrapped her hands around each fist and slowly messaged them open. Helen didn't stop there; she worked her hands up along Mackenzie's forearms, and then to Mackenzie's stiff shoulders kneading them into submission.

Mack could control her body's reaction to Helen's strong hands. Her head rolled back as Helen continued her assault on her shoulders and moaned softly as she felt Helen's lips on the base of her neck.

Helen moved her hands to Mack's back and begun to rub slow circles up and down along her back. She lightly grazed her lips along Mackenzie's collar bone and she was rewarded with a groan. Mackenzie swayed slightly in time with Helen's masterful hands as her eyes fluttered shut.

Mack's hands rested on Helen's waist but soon they were sliding down to cup her buttocks and she squeezed lightly. Helen gasped and her hands faltered slightly but she regained control as she reached down and pried Mackenzie's hands away and held them gently behind her back and smiled sexily.

"I don't think so love…," Helen said breathlessly as her lips hovered over Mack's again. Mackenzie struggled against Helen's hands but gave up without a fight after it was obvious that Helen wasn't going to let her go.

Mackenzie lowered her head in order to kiss Helen's lips but again, the other woman stopped her. "Sorry love. Not this time."

Mack growled in frustration. She wasn't able to touch her or even kiss her…what the heck could she do? As if reading her mind, Helen gently nudged her stubborn detective onto the bed and climbed up on top, straddling Mackenzie's hips.

Mackenzie had to remember to breathe as she stared at the stunning creature above her. She grabbed fist full's of the blanket beneath her and bit her lower lip as Helen's glorious weight bared down on her as she straddled Mackenzie.

Helen braced herself by placing her hands on Mackenzie's strong shoulders as she leaned forward slightly with just enough pressure making Mackenzie gasp then moaned loudly. She watched as Mack's eyes fluttered shut and felt her raise her hips in a silent plea for more.

Helen smiled as she teased Mackenzie by moving every so slightly with just enough pressure causing Mack to cry out. Helen slid her hands from Mackenzie's shoulders down to the edge of her shirt and pushed it up as far as she could, stopping just at the top of her breasts and she slowly began kneading them. With every movement of Helen's hands, Mackenzie moaned and sighed as sensations ran through her.

Helen loved the sounds that she was getting from Mackenzie. They made her feel more then powerful…they made her feel _alive_. Helen slid her hands down lower and she bit her lip and moaned loudly as she cupped the heavy flesh that was Mackenzie's breasts. They fit perfectly in her hands.

Crying out, Mackenzie threw her head back as she lifted herself up to offer Helen more of herself. She felt Helen's skillful fingers pinch and then sooth her already harden nipples. Mackenzie was feeling the pressure build between her legs as Helen continued her careful inspection of her nipples and was quickly getting lost in the sensations.

Mack was breathing hard when Helen finally lowered her head and replaced one of her hands. Gasping at the feel of Helen's wet mouth on her, Mack could do nothing but lay there helpless as Helen had her way with her. And Helen _did_ have her way with her; she was wild as she moved her attention to Mackenzie's other painfully hard nipple.

They both groaned out loud as Helen's hot tongue lathered Mackenzie's nipple. They both heard unrecognizable sounds, but neither were sure who it came from and neither really cared. Mackenzie's hands were trembling with the effort of controlling herself as Helen drover her closer and closer to completion with that sexy mouth of hers – and they still had their cloths on!

Mackenzie wildly reached out and grabbed the only thing she could, Helen's night gown. She held on for dear life as she felt herself being slowly pushed over the edge. Helen held her hand over Mackenzie's as she felt Mack pull her down harder over her.

"_Helen_…,_"_ growled Mackenzie. She buried her hands in Helen's hair and steadied her as Mack pulled her up to kiss her firmly on the lips. Tongues tangled with each other as Helen's hands got busy once more with Mackenzie's breasts. Ripping her mouth from Helen's, Mackenzie slid her hands from Helen's hair and cupped the wonderfully proportioned breasts.

Helen hissed and moved against Mackenzie's hands causing her hips to grind themselves against Mackenzie's. Closing her eyes and throwing her head back, Mack let out a low moan of approval. Instinctively, Mack's fingers flexed again and again over Helen's breasts and the beautiful Scot covered Mack's hands with her own as her head tossed about.

Not being able to get enough of Helen, Mackenzie growled and sat up quickly covering a hardened nipple with her mouth. Crying out as she arched her back, Helen buried her hands in Mackenzie's hair. Mackenzie's arms went around Helen, bringing her even closer then before as her mouth sucked wildly at Helen's breasts through the silky cloth.

Mackenzie felt like a caged animal devouring their meal as she moved to the next breast. With every moan and groan that Helen was making, it was slowly pushing Mack over the edge. She desperately tried to control herself but it was so damn hard with Helen moving and sounding like that.

_Slow down man! Slow down! _Mackenzie's mind screamed. Tearing her mouth from Helen's chest was excruciating, especially when Helen begun to whimper. Still holding her in her arms, Mack leaned back slightly and pressed her face into the valley of Helen's chest and nuzzled her there.

Helen sighed as she ran her fingers through Mackenzie's hair. Taking encouragement from that, Mack placed a kiss there then moved lower, placing small wet kisses as she went. Mack gently laid Helen flat on her back and tenderly untangled herself from Helen's strong legs.

Kneeling down in between them, Mack smiled softly at Helen and slowly peeled off her shirt. Her smile grew as she watched Helen lick her dry lips with such yearning. Their eyes never broke contact as Mackenzie unhooked her bra but not taking it completely off, leaving it hanging on her shoulders. Helen's nostrils flared at the silent invitation – one she couldn't pass up. With eyes locked unto Mack's, Helen slowly rose up, placed her hands on her hips to hold Mackenzie in place. Looking up at Mackenzie, Helen smiled sensuously as she took Mack's unhooked bra between her teeth and slowly pulled it down. When the offending material was gone Helen, still never breaking eye contact, softly pressed her lips against Mackenzie's abdomen. Mackenzie gasped as she felt hot breath on her skin.

Mackenzie couldn't look away, even if she had the power to. It was so…erotic watching Helen. And this was coming from that considered herself a Plane Jane when it came to sex.

Helen smiled triumphantly. She lightly nipped at that same spot and felt Mackenzie jerk and heard her whimper. Helen felt so untamed, so wild…so sensuously powerful.

"Oh poor baby. Let me kiss it and make it better…," Helen said breathlessly. She had no idea where this new woman was coming from, but damn it to hell! She loved every second of it.

Placing a tender kiss there, Helen made sure she had Mackenzie's full attention. Smiling, Helen held Mack steady as her tongue lightly traced the quivering muscle she found there. She repeated the process again as she felt Mackenzie tremble.

Mackenzie was slowly going out of her mind. She knew Helen was intense, but this was a whole new game all together. This Helen was wilder…untamed and Mack found she liked it.

Helen's hands didn't stay still for long. As Helen continued kissing Mackenzie, her hands were busy exploring the other parts of the woman before her. They gently caressed Mack's outer thighs then moved inwards. Mackenzie groaned as Helen's hands cupped her between the thighs. They rubbed slowly, back and forth until Mackenzie cried out and had to reach out and grab Helen's shoulders for support.

Helen vaguely heard Mackenzie's voice begging her for more. Wanting to please Mack, Helen kissed her way down to the button of Mackenzie's jeans. She stopped there, breathing heavily against Mack's skin, waiting. She wanted Mack to _really_ want this, the way she was dying for it.

Helen's hands moved again, this time very slow and deliberate. One hand went to Mack's rear end and held her there as the other went to her zipper and caressed her. Mack trembled and Helen smiled as she watched with enjoyment. Mackenzie had to steady herself by placing her hands on Helen's shoulders.

"Helen..._please..._," Mack begged raggedly. It was all Helen needed to hear as she slowly undid Mackenzie's button. Once undone, Helen's mouth kissed the exposed flesh she found there. Mack whimpered and leaned into Helen desperately trying to get more from the other woman.

Chuckling at Mackenzie's eagerness, Helen maneuvered herself so she was now on her knees. She kissed Mack slow and deep, leaving her completely shaken. Helen's hands found their way to Mack's zipper and hovered there for a moment. Mack's hands drifted lower and covered Helen's and pressed them into her.

Breaking the kiss, both women were breathing heavily. "You started this sweetheart...," Mackenzie breathed raggedly. It was a split second before Helen's hand took hold of Mackenzie's zipper and slid open her jeans.

Mackenzie kept her eyes locked onto Helen's as the other women slipped a hand inside. Helen gasped as she found Mack already wet for her. Mack's nostrils flared as she felt Helen's fingers slide easily into her. Mackenzie clenched her jaw and closed her eyes as Helen continued her exploration. Mackenzie couldn't stay still; she had begun to move along with Helen's fingers. One of Helen's hands slithered inside Mack's jeans and found her bottom and squeezed.

Mackenzie groaned loudly as she rested her forehead in the crook of Helen's neck. She sucked at the tantalizing skin and tasted sweat. Mack's own hands slid from Helen's waist to her butt and squeezed hard as she drew her even closer. She growled as she heard Helen cry out.

Helen's fingers went deeper as Mack pulled her closer. Mack let out a low moan of pleasure and jerked slightly as Helen slowly pulled and pushed her fingers in and out.

Mackenzie's head snapped up and she rested her forehead against Helen's. Her hands held on to Helen's arms as she gave a low grunt. "Helen...too much..._please_...," Mackenzie grounded out as her hips moved with Helen's fingers.

"I'll take care of you, love." Helen whispered in Mack's ear as she pulled her fingers out from her. Mackenzie whimpered at the loss of Helen inside of her but was quieted by Helen. "Shhh...I'm here love. I've got what you need...," Helen murmured as she soothed her by kissing her hard and deep.

Mackenzie was so lost in Helen's kiss she was caught off guard when the small woman shoved her back onto the bed. Breathing heavily with anticipation, Mackenzie watched as Helen climbed on top of her.

Helen kissed her way down Mackenzie's body stopping every so often to lovingly lick, nip and sooth the woman beneath her. She finally reached the top of Mackenzie's jeans. Glancing at Mackenzie with heavy lidded eyes, Helen slowly pulled down the cumbersome material. Mack was completely at the mercy of this beautiful woman.

Now completely undressed, Helen surveyed the body beneath her. Mackenzie was the perfect specimen, muscles in all the right places, arms and legs well toned, perfect olive colored skin all over. And wonderfully wet, just the way Helen liked it. Helen ran her hands down Mackenzie's stomach and smiled as the muscles there clenched at her touch. She kneaded the taught muscles in Mackenzie's thighs until she heard the other woman moan. Only then did she make a move that both women were craving for.

Helen's mouth hovered over Mackenzie's womanhood. _"Please...," _came the breathless plea. Mackenzie felt Helen's hot breath over her and felt herself becoming more wet then she was before. She was going to screamed if Helen didn't do something soon then a split second later, it didn't matter anymore – Mackenzie screamed anyways.

Helen's mouth was on her, sucking her until Mack thought she was going to loose her mind. Just then Helen straddled Mackenzie and smiled lovingly down at her. Reaching out to caress Helen's exposed thighs; Mackenzie took this time to catch her breath.

"God Helen...you're amazing...," Mackenzie said breathlessly. With one hand still caressing Helen's thigh, Mackenzie slid a hand up to Helen's chest and caressed the valley between her breasts and stared in wonder as Helen's head fell to the side. Her eye had fluttered shut as she begun to move her hips and sighed.

Mack then moved her hand to cup Helen's breast once more. Helen gabbed Mack's other hand and brought it up to the other breast and leaned into her. She bit her lip and moaned so sensuously that Mack nearly came hard.

Hands shaking, Mackenzie grabbed the hem of the silky garment and tugged desperately at it. "Take it off! Take it off _now_!" She ordered roughly. Helen, just as anxious as Mack, did as she was told and grabbed the ends of her night gown. She wasn't moving fast enough for Mackenzie. She grabbed a fist full of Helen's gown and yanked it off of her and tossed it aside.

Helen spread her naked form against Mackenzie's body. They both gasped at the touch of the other's skin. Each was acutely aware of the other's every move, which only heightened their arousal. Hands and lips explored every contour of the other's body. Soft sighs and breathless moans filled the quiet room.

All too soon, they were both sweating with their efforts of slowly driving the other over the edge. Helen slid a hand in between the two of them and found what she was looking for. Helen broke their kiss as she gave Mack her toothy grin. She pushed herself up and straddled Mackenzie again. She gently placed a hand on Mackenzie's chest and held her down as she easily slipped a finger then two into her.

Mackenzie gasped and moaned as Helen pushed in then out, bringing her closer and closer to the edge. She broke out into a sweat with the effort of controlling what she knew was coming. Mack reached out and took hold of Helen's waist then slipped down to her thighs then back up to her waist again. She repeated the action for several minutes until she felt her muscles begin to tremble. Helen must have sensed the change because her fingers begun to move rapidly and with add pressure. Mackenzie growled as she held on to Helen's hips.

Mackenzie was breathing heavily and she threw her head back against the bed as Helen continued her seduction. Helen leaned forward and supported herself on an elbow while her other hand was busy pleasuring Mackenzie. She slid a leg higher along Mackenzie's hip, a silent plea for Mack.

Mackenzie smiled at the invitation and obeyed the unspoken request and slid her fingers in between Helen's legs. Both groaned the moment Mackenzie's fingers made contact with Helen's dampness.

Helen moved against Mack's exploring fingers just as Mackenzie was moving against Helen's. Soon, they were crying out as the tension built inside them. They moved desperately against each other wanting their release.

Mackenzie was the first to let it all go with an animalistic growl. Her muscles were taut as she came hard; legs trembled with the force of her release. Helen was close to her own satisfaction; her inner muscles delightfully squeezing Mackenzie's fingers as she slid them in and out of her.

It didn't take long for Helen to surrender herself to Mackenzie. She arched her back and held onto Mack's strong shoulders as she finally let go. She felt herself sinking onto Mackenzie's body, too exhausted from what just happened. She had smile on her face that said it all.

Mackenzie wrapped her arms around the tiny frame and gently caressed Helen's back. She lifted her head and placed a tired kiss on Helen's shoulder. Moaning, Mack inhaled the husky scent of Helen and sex. "God woman…you're an animal…," Mackenzie said teasingly. Her fingers lost themselves in the tangled mess of Helen's hair.

Helen closed her eyes and raised her head to kiss Mackenzie gently on the lips. Mackenzie moaned as she tasted herself on Helen's lips.

"I didn't hear any complaints," Helen said tiredly. She rested her upper body on her elbows as she stared down at Mackenzie. She bit her lower lip and smiled, absolutely content. Mack stared at her and felt a rush of emotion flow through her. Reaching up, Mack tenderly traced Helen's cheek with a finger.

"What?" Helen asked a little self conscious. She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and waited.

Mackenzie could blurt out what she really wanted to say. She'd see Helen running for the first plane out of her if she did. She opted for the second thing.

"You're so beautiful. Thank you," she said sincerely. Helen felt herself turn red.

"For what?" Helen asked softly.

Mackenzie smiled lovingly up at her. "For everything…for being you…for this…," Mack shrugged, a little lost for words. Helen was taken back by that – people thanked her all the time for different things. But the difference between them and Mackenzie was that Mack was sincere and that there was nothing behind those words except for genuine honesty. This made the words more precious to her.

Feeling tears form, Helen smiled gently and leaned down and softly kissed Mackenzie. "Thank _you_," Helen whispered. She laid her head in the crook of Mackenzie's neck. She missed the expression on Mack's face.

Swallowing hard, Mack held on to Helen. She felt her heart pounding in her chest. Although, those words could mean a billion things, coming from Helen, it meant so much more. Mack held onto those two words as if it were the only thing saving her from drowning. They were about as close as she was going to get from the three words she longed to hear.

Mackenzie gently nuzzled the top of Helen's head and heard her sigh. She tightened her arms around her waist and watched Helen fall asleep with a satisfied smile on her face. Mackenzie stared at the ceiling and replayed those two words over and over. Those two words moved her.

She finally let the tears fall. Gradually, the lull of Helen's rhythmic breathing pulled Mack to sleep. She glanced at the sleeping woman next to her before sleep took control.

They lay sleeping, wrapped tightly in each other's arms.

* * *


	15. Where There's Smoke

I apologize for my lack of updates for this particular story. I've been suffering from writer's block and have been working on this in parts here and there. For those of you who have been anxiously waiting, I hope this makes up for the long wait.

P.S. 59 Beekman Hill International – don't own 'em. Just borrowing them for now.

Dick Wolfe/SHED productions owns everyone but Mackenzie and Alex.

* * *

Where there's Smoke…

The shrill of a telephone awoke Helen out of her peaceful slumber. It had been almost two weeks since Alex's birthday and one of the most incredible nights of her life. Her centre was now fully furnished and the programs were in place as well as a handful of volunteers were on hand. All that it needed were the women that would house it. Mack had insisted she help out with the interviews for the full time employees who would work there as well.

A grunt and the sluggish movement from under the pillow alerted Helen. She quickly scrambled over Mackenzie's bare back and grabbed the phone.

"Hello?" She whispered, not wanting to disturb the sleeping grizzly under her. She smiled softly at the image of Mack and her rugged good looks coming out of hibernation.

"_Ms. Stewart?"_ the boyish voice replied.

"Chester?"

"_Yeah, it's me. Mack awake yet?"_ He asked in a hurry. Helen knew when not to ask questions.

"Hold on a sec." Placing the phone down Helen lifted the pillow slightly and was greeted with an irritated growl. Helen smiled and nibbled at the soft spot on the back of Mackenzie's neck winning her a soft moan. Smiling in triumph she moved to nibble on Mack's earlobe. Mackenzie jerked at the unexpected sensation. Still, Mack hadn't lifted her head from underneath the pillow.

"Wake up sweetheart," Helen said huskily in Mack's ear. Lying on her stomach, Mack gave Helen a perfect view of her perfectly well rounded, well toned rear end. Helen reached down and grabbed the warm flesh and dug her nails into them causing Mack's head to shoot up from under the pillow.

Mack's eyes flashed fire. Smirking, Helen leaned in and gave her a morning kiss. Growling, Mack leaned in to deepen the kiss but Helen shook her head.

"You have a phone call," Helen whispered seductively against Mack's lips then tossed the phone to her. Eyes narrowing to slits, Mack growled once more and barked at the caller.

"What!" She heard a chuckle on the other end of the line. Only one other person, other then Helen, dared to wake her at this time in the morning. She glanced at Helen, who was smiling as she pretended not to notice a thing. Mack also noticed just how naked Helen was and she felt a stirring down below.

"This better be good, Lake!" She growled into the phone as she continued to stare at Helen. Throwing a flirtatious smile at Mack, Helen sat up against the head board and folded her hands on her lap and started to hum to herself.

"_Sorry. I just got a fax from that chick down in London. An Alex Fielding – said she worked the...uh...__the case. You might want to come down and see it," _Chester said in a hush tone.

Mack could care less about the damn fax at the moment with Helen driving her body crazy.

"Later," she hissed.

"_But -"_

"I said _later_!" Mackenzie didn't wait for a reply; she hung up and tossed the phone aside. Mack glared at Helen, waiting.

"Well, it looks like you'll be busy," Helen said teasingly. She threw the covers back, baring her naked body and moved to get out of bed. Helen stood up sensually making sure Mackenzie got the full view.

Mackenzie felt her body react instantly. She growled; low and primitive and before Helen could take another step, she whipped out a hand and grabbed Helen by the wrist and yanked her back onto the bed.

Giving a squeal of delight, Helen toppled back. Mackenzie had her pinned underneath her, holding her wrists by the sides of her head. Both were breathing heavily as Mack lowered her head until their faces were a breath apart.

"What do you think your doing?" Mack demanded; her voice low. Helen shivered not out of fear, but in anticipation of what was to come.

"I have no idea what you are talking about," she said breathlessly. She kept her gaze fixed on Mack's, showing the other woman that she wasn't afraid or about to give up that easily. Mackenzie just cocked an eye brow and smiled almost mischievously.

"Have it your way." Then lowering her head to Helen's neck, Mack nibbled on every inch of exposed skin until Helen couldn't keep still. Mack still had Helen's wrists pinned, preventing the other woman from moving. Helen whimpered, wanting to touch the woman above her.

Lifting her head at the sound, Mackenzie just gazed at Helen. She smiled softly and kissed Helen lovingly on the lips while moving her hands so their fingers tangled with each other. Mackenzie gave a gentle squeeze of Helen's before releasing them, her forearms framing Helen's beautiful face.

Mackenzie watched Helen as she moved rhythmically against her. She watched as Helen smiled, her eyes fluttered closed. Helen's hands cupped Mackenzie's rear end and gave them a squeeze signalling for more. Mack smiled knowingly, adding more pressure to her movements.

Mackenzie slipped a hand between them, and finding that special place, Mack slipped inside. Helen's eyes opened and she smiled. It was a smile that drove Mack crazy. Mackenzie picked up the pace.

For a moment, the only sounds that came from their room were from the bed springs and head board being jostled. 2 glorious hours later, there came a throaty cry followed by a guttural moan. Helen learned long ago not to worry about waking Alex up.

Both women were out of breath as they laid there, the sheets tangled around them. Turning her head to face Helen, Mack smiled.

"So what do you have to say now?" She asked breathlessly.

Giving Mackenzie her toothy grin, Helen winked.

"Thank God Alex sleeps like a rock!"

Mackenzie, not expecting that, blinked in surprise. After a moment, she threw her head back and laughed.

* * *

Staring down at the paper, Mack rubbed a hand over her tired eyes.

"Are you absolutely sure about this?" Chester nodded solemnly.

They both agreed to meet at the diner after dropping Helen off at the Centre, with a promise to be back within a few hours. Sighing tiredly, Mack pinched the bridge of her nose.

"They offered to send a shrink that worked with her. Uh...a Dr. Anthony Hill," Chester said as he flipped through his notes. Shaking her head, Mack leaned back farther into her seat.

"I don't need a shrink. I need someone to actually help _catch_ her."

"Apparently, Dr. Hill was the guy that _did_ catch her the first time. Maybe you should give him a chance," Chester offered diplomatically. Again, Mack shook her head.

"Why not ask Helen if she's ever heard of this case? Since she's, you know, from London."

Mack's head shot up.

"No." Her tone was deadly. Chester nodded, knowing when to back off.

"Suit yourself," Chester said with a shrug. Looking down at her watch, Mack made note of the time.

"I gotta get going. Mind if I keep this?" Mack asked, waving the paper. Chester nodded.

"Don't worry. I've got a folder at my place." Nodding, Mack slipped out of the booth and was shrugging into her jacket.

"Oh! Before I forget, the Captain wants to see you sometime today."

Mackenzie felt her stomach twist with worry. Chester watched as his partner froze.

"Don't worry man. Everything will be fine," Chester said supportively. He gave Mack a slap to the back as he left. Letting out a breath, Mack ran a hand through her hair as she watched Chester leave the diner.

"Easy for you to say," Mackenzie mumbled to herself as she headed out.

* * *

"I know she's hiding something from me. I just don't know what," Helen said, frustrated. After their little impromptu morning love making session, Mack had been acting weird. Brady smiled and reached out and squeezed Helen's hand.

Helen had called Brady the moment Mackenzie had left to see Chester. They sat there in Helen's small but cozy office. Mack had insisted leaving the infamous desk here. Every time Helen sat down to do work she would remember how they had made love on it...twice. She blushed at the thought. Thank God Brady had looked away while sipping her tea.

"It's an annoying trait those Benson women have. They get all secretive thinking they're trying to protect us. It can be a sweet gesture once in awhile...," Brady shrugged and trailed off.

"But a bloody pain in the arse most times." Helen finished with a grin. Brady laughed and nodded. They spoke some more until they heard the door to the centre open.

"Well speak of the devil," Brady muttered with a smirk. Mackenzie was leaning against the door frame, hands in her jean pockets and a grin plastered to her face. Helen couldn't help but agree.

_Oh yeah. My very own devil in blue jeans,_ Helen thought to herself as she bit her lower lip. Helen gave Mack a long once over and when her eyes locked onto Mackenzie's, there was no hiding what she had been thinking. Mackenzie just cocked in eyebrow and gave her a sexy grin.

Brady cleared her throat. "You do realize I'm still here," she said teasingly. Helen looked away quickly trying to hide her blush. Mack just grinned wildly, her hair falling into her eyes.

Mack pushed herself from the door and moved farther into the office. She hugged Brady then gently kissed Helen on the lips before pulling up a chair and sat next to Helen.

"So, talking about me, eh?" Mack asked with a teasing grin. Helen gave a playful swat and Brady just chuckled and shook her head.

"Is that what you think?" Helen asked, eyes sparkling. Brady set her tea down and reached for the folders on the coffee table. She rifled through them a moment then found what she was looking for.

"I was thinking," Brady begun but Mackenzie rolled her eyes playfully.

"Uh-oh." Helen gave another swat and Mack caught her hand easily. Bringing it up to her lips, Mack placed a kiss on the back of Helen's hand and grinned ruggedly.

Rolling her eyes, Brady just gave the two a silly grin. "Are you two done?" Brady asked cheekily.

"No."

"Yes."

Mack and Helen both answered at the same time. Brady laughed at the pair and shook her head. Brady waved the folder in the air.

"I was going to say that Liv suggested that you try out these programs. So far it's going over well with the youth at her centre. Maybe some of the woman might be interested," Brady said with a warm smile on her face. She handed Helen the folder as she pointed a finger at the young woman she considered a daughter.

"And you," Brady said with mock seriousness. "Your captain would like to speak with you before the day is through." Helen's head snapped up just as Mack swallowed nervously and sat frozen in her seat.

"Why does he want to speak with you?" Helen asked slowly. _Thank you very much! _Mack thought as she smiled tightly at Brady who just shrugged her shoulders.

"Wow! Look at the time!" Brady said as she made a quick exit. Helen got up and closed the office door quietly. _I'm in big trouble now,_ Mack thought as she squirmed in her seat as Helen rested her hands on her hips eyeing Mackenzie expectantly. Shrugging her shoulders Mackenzie scrambled for an answer.

"I don't know what he wants, honey. Chester just passed me the message this morning when I met him. That's why I came over actually," Mack said quickly. Helen's lips formed a thin line as she continued to glare making Mackenzie begin to sweat.

"Well, you don't want to be late. Go on," Helen said after a moment. She busied herself with clearing the table of tea cups and papers. Mack blinked, puzzled.

"You're not mad?" She asked hesitantly. Helen looked up from what she was doing and shook her head. Still unsure, Mackenzie just stared at Helen, waiting. When it was obvious that Mackenzie wasn't going to move, Helen sighed.

"I know you, Mackenzie. If you knew what was going on, you would have told me by now. So go, before you Captain has an ulcer waiting for you," Helen said softly. She leaned in and placed a soft kiss on Mackenzie's lips.

"Ok, but I'll try and make it back before dinner," Mack said when they broke the kiss. Helen nodded and held her hands out. Mackenzie took hold of them and smiled as she was pulled to her feet.

"Good. Get going!" Helen playfully swatted Mackenzie's behind as the woman passed. Mack gave a startled yelp and covered her rear end as Helen made another grab for it.

At the front entrance, Mackenzie turned around and kissed Helen goodbye. Helen waved as Mack drove off. She turned and went back inside, a smile on her face.

* * *

Sitting uncomfortably in one of the wooden chairs in front of Captain Cragen, Mack listened to what was being said.

"I don't want you pulling any more stunts like that again. The higher ups want to make it clear to you that if you keep pushing this; they're going to give you a long vacation. Permanently."

Mackenzie sat quietly and nodded. Cragen studied Mack and sighed and rubbed his tiered eyes as he sat back in his chair.

"I know how close you are to this case. Trust me; I've had my share of those. I regret sending you in there every single day. I can't loose my best detective," the Captain said softly. Mackenzie looked at him with wide eyes, humbled by the simple words.

Clearing his throat, Cragen sat back up and sighed. "If you're ready, you can come back next Monday."

Mackenzie stuttered and nodded quickly.

"Yes sir! Absolutely!"

Laughing softly, Don watched as Mackenzie got up to leave.

"Oh and by the way," Don said casually as Mackenzie's hand closed around the doorknob, "you can tell Chester to stop calling England."

Mackenzie closed her eyes and groaned internally. She shook her head slightly as she opened the door and left. Don watched as she walked by Chester as he sat at his desk and gave him a whack to the head as she went by. He chuckled at Chester's surprised reaction.

He hoped that Mackenzie would keep her promise. But he had a deep suspicion that she wouldn't, not that he could blame her.

She _was_ the best. Better then Olivia. And that's what freighted him. You don't become the best by following orders…

* * *

"Tomorrow we'll start shopping for back to school stuff," Mack said as she picked up the empty plates and brought them to the sink. She could hear the beginnings of a whine but was surprised when she didn't hear the usual complaint from her son.

Mackenzie turned around and was taken back by what she saw. Alex, his face scrunched into a scowl while Helen just gave him a stern look. Alex just crossed his arms before he spoke.

"Why do I have to start at a new school? Why can't I just go to the one in the centre?" Alex asked in his 9 year old voice. Helen got up and begun cleaning up the table. The three of them had this discussion before and still, Alex insisted on going to the Tender Hugs Centre classes.

Sighing and shaking her head, Mack grabbed the hand towel and wiped her hands dry before she turned around and leaned against the counter.

"Because it's for the kids that actually stay _at_ the centre," Mack said patiently. In the past, she and Alex would have had an argument and would end up dragging an unwilling Alex around a store the following day.

But with Helen around more often then not, Mackenzie felt herself losing her temper less and less. She almost felt Zen like. She felt herself smirk but quickly hide it when she felt Alex stare at her.

Slipping out of his chair, he made his way over to his mama and shoved his hands into his jeans.

"But I _use_ to go there…," Alex said hopefully.

Crossing her arms as she crossed one leg over the other in a relaxed sorta way, Mackenzie just shook her head. She had to give it to her son. He was persistent. Mack could feel Helen's eyes on her as she stood by watching the display.

Mackenzie eyed her son carefully, a smile playing at her lips. Inhaling deeply, Mack pretended to think about it. Then pushing herself off of the counter and hunkering down to meet Alex's eyes, Mackenzie shook her head.

"I'm sorry Bud. You're getting older and you need to go to a proper school. Beekman Hill is a great school. They have amazing after school activities…you'll make new friends-"

"But I don't _want _new friends! I like the ones I have now!" Alex stomped his foot and scrunched his face.

"Alexander!" Helen said sharply. She stood a few feet away, hands on her hips and not looking to happy. Alex quickly regretted using that tone of voice and mumbled an apology. Mack glanced at Helen and smiled softly. Mackenzie squatted low enough to meet Alex eye to eye.

"But I still _don't_ wanna go!" The little boy pouted. Sighing, Mack gently took hold of Alex's tiny shoulders and placed a tender kiss on his forehead.

"I know. It's scary. Really, _really_ scary to be starting some place new," Mackenzie said softly. "I remember the first time Aunt Brady told me the same thing." Alex's eyes widened and Mack knew she had his attention.

"What happened?" Mackenzie smiled gently.

"I was terrified. I thought she didn't want me anymore."

Alex cocked his head to the side and gave his mother an odd look.

"But that's impossible. She'll always want you," he stated simply. Mackenzie smiled knowingly.

"I know that _now_. But at the time I didn't. At least you didn't embarrass yourself when I told you about your new school," Mackenzie said with a chuckle. She looked up as she saw Helen pull out a chair to listen. Helen gave her the most beautiful smile and Mackenzie felt her insides melt.

"Mama, what happened?"

Clearing her throat, and getting prepared to get laughed at once more, Mackenzie scooped her son up and placed him on the kitchen table. Helen stood and perched herself on the edge of the table beside Alex and waited.

"Well, I…uh…wet myself…" Mackenzie closed her eyes and waited for it. When she didn't hear a sound, she opened her eyes and stared at the pair.

Helen and Alex sat in disbelief.

"Did you just say what I think you said?" Helen asked laughter evident in her voice. Giving her a smirk, Mack nodded. Helen covered her mouth to stop from laughing out loud. "Really?" Again, Mack nodded.

"Mama…you mean you…"

"YES! I peed my pants! There! Ya happy?" Mackenzie wasn't really angry, seeing as how Helen and Alex were hunched over in laughter. After a moment, Mack couldn't hold it together and joined in. After what seemed like an eternity, Alex was the first to some how find his composure.

"But why mama?"

"Because," Mack said softly. She reached out and ruffled her son's hair then wrapped an arm around him as she sat next to him. "Back then I was a very scared little girl. I didn't want to leave the Centre. Ever. Then Brady said that it was _ok_ to be scared. That I would always be safe, no matter what happened, I was always safe."

Alex was quiet as he thought about that.

"I know I'll be safe, mama. I just don't wanna leave my old friends behind," Alex said solemnly.

Mack looked over at Helen who smiled softly. Helen reached out and laced her fingers with Alex's.

"You'll never leave them behind. They are always with you. That's the best part about friendship…you can never have enough of it," Helen said quietly as she reached out with her other hand and ran her fingers through Alex's hair.

"But what if they get mad at me if I have new friends?" Alex looked up at Helen, tears in his eyes.

"No love, if they ever get upset about you making new friends, then they were never truly your friend to begin with. A real friend would be happy for you, no matter what."

Mackenzie slipped off of the table and stood in front of Alex. She hated seeing him like this. So sad and worried.

"You will always have a chance to see the kids at the Centre. _Always_. But you also need a chance at meeting new kids in a _real_ school."

Lowering his head, Alex knew when he was defeated. He nodded miserably. Mackenzie felt her heart break at the site and wrapped her arms around the small boy and held on. Helen did the same and they just stood there for a while.

"I'm sorry Bud. If I had my way, I'd let you stay at the Centre. But there are certain rules that I have to follow," Mackenzie said softly. She kissed the top of her son's head as he nodded, his face buried in her chest.

"Tell you what, why don't you and your mummy go and finish up that Harry Potter game. I'll finish up with cleaning up and I'll catch up with you two in a bit," Helen suggested.

Pulling away, Alex sniffed and nodded silently. Mackenzie smiled softly.

"You sure?" Helen nodded and shooed them away from the kitchen. Alex hopped off of the table and clasped his mama's hand in his and dragged her to the TV. After a moment, Helen could hear the sounds of the game going on behind her. She smiled as she heard Mackenzie moan as her character died…again.

Helen finished up with the dishes and wiped her hands on a dish towel then proceeded to the living area. She laughed as Alex easily took out his mama in one slash of his wand.

"Come on!" Mack wailed as her character died once more. Alex just turned and smiled triumphantly at his mama.

"Whose bright idea was it to get him a Wii?" Mackenzie asked with a huff. Helen laughed as she took Mackenzie's controller away from her.

"You'll have to look in the mirror for that answer. Now, let me show you how it's really done," Helen said with such arrogance that Mackenzie couldn't help turn red with excitement. Mack sat back and watched as Alex and Helen went head to head against each other.

She watched as Helen bit her tongue in concentration, eyes narrowed as she stared at the screen, ever so cautious with each spell that was directed at her character. Alex was just as determined as Helen was. His brows were creased in the middle and his tongue was hanging out from the side of his mouth.

It was such a delightful sight to see. The two couldn't have looked more a like then they did in that instant. Like mother and son should. Mackenzie's smile slowly fell from her face.

_Mother and son_…

Mackenzie felt an odd sensation pierce her heart at that idea. Although she had toyed with the idea since getting involved with Helen, never had she felt that kind of heavy emotion attached to it. She had to take several deep breaths in order to breathe right.

"YES!"

Mackenzie shook herself out of her reverie. It took a moment to realize what was happening. Alex was jumping up and down in victory as Helen covered her face in her hands in defeat.

"Um…," Mackenzie said lamely. She had to focus or else she'd have some serious explaining to do. Trying again, Mack sounded a little more coherent.

"Way to go Bud." Then turning playfully to Helen, "So that's how it's done, huh?" Helen arched an eyebrow in Mackenzie's direction and placed a hand on her hip.

"At least I was able to last a longer then you," Helen replied with a gleam in her eye. Mackenzie smiled slyly but was saved from throwing a snappy reply back.

"Mama! You wanna try again?" Alex asked eagerly. Smiling gently at her son, Mackenzie shook her head.

"Maybe in a little bit. Mama just got her rear end served to her on a silver platter."

Alex looked regretful. "I'll let you win next mama," he said innocently. Helen threw her head back and laughed. Mack just threw her a dirty look.

"Maybe next time Bud. Thanks for the offer though," Mack said as she felt her cheek burn. Alex shrugged and proceeded to shut off the game and put the controllers away.

Helen collapsed onto the sofa next to Mack and into her warm embrace.

"Since when have you learned to play like that?" Mack whispered in Helen's ear then placed a soft kiss just behind her ear. Tucking her legs beneath her, Helen snuggled closer to Mackenzie and shrugged.

"I dunno. I've always been competitive since I was a child. My mum said it was a bad habit I was gaining but dad said it built character."

Mack was saved from replying when Alex climbed in between the two women. Helen and Mack just stared at each other and laughed. Alex had the TV remote and switched it on before he passed it over to Helen.

"Hey!"

Alex looked at her mama and shrugged.

"What? You always said '_Give a lady control and you'll live happily ever after'_," he said innocently. He didn't realize what his mama meant when he over heard Mackenzie say it. Eyes wide, Mack quickly glanced at Helen.

Helen just raised a delicate eyebrow and smirked.

"Oh _really_?" Mack blushed profusely at getting caught. Alex nodded as he glanced at Helen. She smiled gently at him as she brushed his bangs from his eyes.

"What else does mummy say?" She asked as her eyes wandered back to Mackenzie's. The other woman jerked upright.

"Uh…I think that movie you wanted to see is on somewhere, Alex," Mack said quickly before he could answer Helen. Alex just shrugged and took the controller from Helen and flipped through the channels.

Helen continued to stare at Mack which made the other woman squirm in her seat. Alex being Alex had no clue what was going on.

"Young man," Helen said softly as she leaned forward to catch Alex's attention, "it's getting late, don't you think? You've got a big day tomorrow," she said softly. Mack shook her head as Alex glanced at his mama.

"Umm…," the little boy was confused.

"I've got to speak with mummy anyways," Helen said with a wink. Alex thought for a moment.

"That's ok Bud. We can watch out here," Mack replied as she felt sweat bead her forehead. Helen's eyes flickered in her direction.

Alex's looked from his mama to Helen then back again. He was getting really confused. Helen gently took hold of Alex's chin and turned his head so he could look at only her. With a beautiful smile, Helen kissed the top of his head.

"You're mummy and I have to speak alone. It's very important."

"Ok," Alex replied softly. He hopped of the sofa and made his way to his room.

"Night mama," he called over his shoulder then closed his bed room door.

Mackenzie softly groaned. She was in big trouble.

"Helen, it's not what you thi-" she was cut off by Helen's lips on hers. Mackenzie sat completely still. Helen pulled back with a smirk on her face.

She grabbed a fist full of Mackenzie's shirt as she pulled her upwards. Mackenzie's eye had grown wide.

"_Oh_…I'm pretty sure that's what you meant," and with that, Helen dragged Mackenzie into the bed room shoved her onto the bed. Stunned, Mackenzie just laid where she was. Helen climbed on top of Mackenzie slowly. She heard Mack's breathing become shallow. She straddled Mackenzie's thighs and licked her lips. Mackenzie's eyes never left hers.

Helen smiled seductivly. She was going to show Mackenzie what _real_ control was.


	16. Authors note

Hello all,

I just want to apologize for the lack of updates. I have been putting updates together, piece by piece. I intend to update, just not sure _when_ that will be.

There have been a lot of changes, work wise, for me. For those of you who live in Canada, you may have already heard – the Government axed about 5000 jobs. I was one of the unlucky ones. Along with my library team, whom I've had the pleasure of working with for over 10 years, I will no longer be with a job by the end of the year. It sucks, but that's life. I will be pretty busy in the coming months figuring out what the next step will be.

But make one thing clear, I will update. I just don't know when, but I promise to update.

For those of you that have been waiting so very patiently and for those that are new, thank you from the bottom of my heart. Please continue to be a little bit more patient with me – I'm coming back.

I'll see you all soon.

~JrB~


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